For those feeling meh about Xmas and struggling to get in the spirit. Why is that? What would you do next year to try feel more festive.

[HolesInMySocks]

I'm struggling to feel festive

Were having a quieter one. As ils and parents have other plans. I normally host.
I was sort of looking forward to a quieter Xmas. But reality is I like the hecticness. And lately my nearly 4 years old has been hard work. Mainly as pre school closed due to covid 4 weeks ago! So no routine. The things I'd normally do in Xmas prep I'd do when she's there. But instead it's been rush in the evenings, online etc.
One dc hates food! So meal times are always quite fretful and stressful.

We have done so many festive things, breakfast with santa, 2 santa visits, theme park, soft play and santa, local lights, Xmas parade and a few other local fares yet it doesn't feel christmas yet! I even put my tree up later than normal.

Next year..

I'm going to buy through the year like I used to so I have the.. Ohh I forgot I got xyz that can't wait till they open that feeling. As would have had more thoight rather than 'shit I got to get that Where's got stock'

Really work on the dcs food issues to make meal times ie Xmas Dinner not awful. Altho there's nothing we haven't tried!

Put one of my Xmas displays up that I didn't do this year due to youngest probably breaking or touching as fragile. I miss that and one room feels bare.

Do my big deep clean. I didn't this year. And altuough my house is always tidy and clean. I always feel more relaxed knowing certain jobs are done. Like wardrobe cull. Kitchen cupboards cleaned out etc. ( anxiety related) again if normally do this during pre school time

Hopefully next year I won't have severe depression.

Sorry. That was a shite answer. I hope you get some better responses.

My Autistic daughter might learn to cope with occasions and not freak out/push me away and refuse to speak to me two days before my birthday, which happens to be a month before Christmas.
This will be my 4th year alone, worrying about said Daughter.

Win enough money to not have to work and then it will all be a joy. For me it’s always the stress to get it all done at a time of year when I am tired and run down anyway. If I could buy all the gifts early and have a month off to feel festive I’m sure I would be well away.
I will try to save so that I can buy earlier I’m sick of getting the last few bits for so and so all this week and then having all the house prep and food shop to do.

In the same spirit as the PPs giving you a bit of a reality check, next year I'm going to be alone like this year and the last three years as my adult Dcs are at their dad's. Having young children is what Xmas is about. If you're not in the mood now, you never will be.

Not get covid so I have to cancel everything….

@ISpyCobraKai I'm sorry - that must be really hard 😔

Not have Covid

If covid miraculously fucked off I'd feel more festive.

It's hard to get excited and plan knowingplans can be cancelled last minute.

Sorry for those of you who will be alone x

I was feeling super Christmassy.

Until mum died on the 2nd December.

Now I don't. I suppose she can't die again next year. That will probably make it feel better. But my dad is still alive. Hopefully he doesn't die next year.

I have gone through the motions. Wrapped everything. Finished mums Christmas shopping lists, so the grandkids have the things she really wanted them to have. Wrapped everything. Going to get the food in the morning

But I am not feeling it all and struggling to pretend

@Notgettingbetter
Thank you, it is, I miss her so much and worry about her.
Autism sucks.

Go easy on yourself.

The pressure to be having “an amazing time” at this time of year is just too much. As responses on this thread already show, life can be tough. No one is having a fairy-tale - no matter what their Facebook/Instagram might suggest.

You have a home and a family - embrace the quieter Christmas and I’m sure you’ll look back fondly.

What will I do differently next year? Seriously? Maybe plan to be away and on a beach somewhere. I posted a thread recently - being childless at this time of year is more painful than any other point

@Kbish1 I'm very sorry for your loss 💐

I'm not really feeling it this year either. My oldest has ASD and is struggling with the changes to routine and is a bit overstimulated and anxious. I want to be able do nice festive things with her but she just finds it a bit too much, and it makes me sad inside.

Also we are supposed to be going to my parents on Christmas day but now they are awaiting PCR results.

We got broken into on Monday night/early hours Tuesday. We were in bed. I think either I or my boy disturbed them and they didn't get upstairs. But they could have done. I can't get that out of my head. The first foot is my little girls bedroom.
They got my car keys and took it. With her Xmas gifts in the boot. Nothing mega expensive but that isn't the point.
I've been ok till today. Today I feel so sad and vulnerable that they've been in our house and we had no idea.
My husband is so angry
We need to get over it for the sake of my little girl- she doesn't know anything has happened- I managed to keep her busy watching frozen whilst police and forensics were here.
It could have been worse, but yeah- it's kind of squashed my Christmas spirit right now!

My friends 5 day old baby died yesterday. Really struggling but doing my best for my own kids

Mine was shit last year with family struggles - nothing major or dramatic but I had done so much more for them over the year since the pandemic broke out, I was burnt out anyway but bust a gut to make Christmas nice for us all and they did bare minimum. I'd also lost two people to suicide and a tonne of other stuff on top of the pandemic.

The year before I had been ill for 6 months and was only just starting to recover.

This year I haven't done as much and I'm still exhausted and drained by the whole thing. I can't see a way I can easily opt out of Christmas all together next year, but I'd quite like to. Perhaps I'll get everybody gift certificates and have done with presents, and opt out of cards. I'm quite sad that it looks like for a second year running several people who I normally exchange presents with seem to have absolutely not bothered with me again, including not bothering to let me know my parcel to them has arrived. So fuck it I will follow their lead.

Oh @NewLifePending that is horiffic

I am ill and my op was cancelled so I can’t do anything, just lie on a sofa. Can’t even manage the whole of family zoom because I get too tired, let alone go and see anyone or have visitors.

Next year is God willing going to be much better, if my very elderly parents manage to stay alive, and while I don’t want to tempt fate I would say the chances are they will still be there!

I am lucky as my condition is temporary and has an end in sight. Just got to get through the next few weeks.

I really sympathise re food issues op. We have 2 with food issues and the older one (now 15) has magically got better on hitting puberty. It is so hard when people give you so much advice and not a single bit of it helps.

No small children here, not a lot of family. Adult children not coming home, either because they're abroad, have a boyfriend or just don't like Christmas. It suits me fine, it's just another day, magical if you have small children, otherwise just hype, imho.

I'll not be changing anything next year, if anything I'll be doing even less. I visit my mum because she's elderly and wants me to, otherwise I'll cut down on gifts and food because I really can't afford it.

I'm so sorry for everyone having such a hard time.

On the food front I'd really recommend just letting them have the food they want for Christmas. Or is it food being in the room at all that causes the issue? We used to keep most of the food in the kitchen so you went back for seconds so "offensive" foods weren't stacked up across the table, and then the one who had a particular problem used to sit as far as possible from anything they didn't like, while having their own Christmas dinner of their favourite things.

for those who are ill or have suffered sad losses.
I’m going to sound like a pathetic whiner I’m afraid. Next year I’m going to tell adult dcs that I don’t want to host Christmas. I want a quiet one with Dh, maybe even go away. I’m struggling with one adult dc who has come home to stay for Christmas, I’ve let myself get far too stressed. I’m not doing it next year.

I will have moved and sorted our new home by next Christmas and I want an outdoor christmas tree with lights. I will also visit as many towns and villages as possible to see the lights.

no little children around! no lego to build, no santa magic

its a very grown up christmas with tasteful decs and 'the finest ' food range

not quite the same

i have got a newly decorated living room and nice lights outside with a real tree lit up...so not all bad, just a bit disappointing with no small children to bring excitement