For the first year ever feeling Meh about Christmas

[BahHum]

Usually by now I would be a little bit excited. As a child excited for myself, since having dc, excited for them. This year I just don't feel it at all.

My youngest dc is so excited and counting down the days, my eldest is slightly less bothered this year. I'm worried my lack of enthusiasm is rubbing off on eldest.

Usually I'm planning how to get the stockings / presents set up for the morning, this year I'm contemplating waiting till the morning and doing it before dc wake up. It's probably too risky but it's my plan so far. Last year I was happy once I'd set out the gifts and filled the stockings and began to fall asleep.

Also dc have not asked for anything this year so I've got them presents I think they'll like. Now I don't even know if they will like them. Our house is small so I couldn't get anything big and amazing looking.

I feel more anxiety about the day than joy and will be glad when it's over. Then I will probably feel guilty that I've been so non fussed about the build up to Christmas. I always feel down in January on the best of years.

Has anyone else felt like this and gone on to have better Christmases? Or is this just a sign of years to come ?

I think it’s a sign of getting older to be honest !
Xmas day is a chore now, not the fun day when I was younger. I also can’t wait for it to be over, there is so much expectation, yet it’s usually a day of hard work and disappointment.
Feeling down in January is normal I think, we’re all waiting for some light and warm weather.
When I’m out walking the dog I start looking for signs of spring, leaf buds on trees and snow drops. Then I feel good that summer is coming.

I was afraid that would be the case. It absolutely is more of a chore these days. To be fair it's been tough for a few years but this year does just feel worse. Possibly an accumulation of everything from the past couple of years which haven't helped.

I think you’ve done really well to keep being excited up to this point.

It's too much, goes on for too long, everything closes. Have been meh about it for years. I think once every 2 years would be better.

Same here, just wish it was all over.

Yes. I normally like Christmas. But this year I could just skip it.

I have been really upset about this this morning. I just feel like it's a massive fucking hassle this year. My parent died a month ago, I have a teenage son with a broken bone who needs help to wash/walk about the house and we've already had a birthday this week so that might be why I feel so flat and energy sapped but I'm just so joyless and listless this year. I just can't be bothered and feel so unfestive.

I know it's selfish and silly but I feel so cross that I'm doing all this work and there will be fuck all for me under the tree in all the piles of gifts (DH and I agreed not to get each other anything). I hate myself for feeling like this but I can't help feeling furious that after months of planning, buying, sorting, spending this whole week cleaning and tidying and food shopping then spending most of Christmas day in the kitchen and hosting, that there will be nothing for me. I know it's irrational, I'm an adult and have (some) disposable income to treat myself sporadically and it's my birthday in March so I will be spoilt (& spoil myself) then.

And yes, I think some of the way we're feeling is pandemic related. I'd love a holiday or even a theatre trip or weekend away, without the threat of it being cancelled last minute, to look forward to.

I feel this way. Mine are teens and I do miss the excitement of when they were younger. Now, they get up at 2pm and don't want to go to a Christmas related event, DH hasn't broken up yet.

This year, I've scaled back. I said we weren't hosting anyone, didn't send cards, DH will cook and it's been fairly stress free. In a way, I miss running about.

I can't get enthused. I think it's a combination of having hosted/rushing about for 16 years and heading towards 50/menopause maybe.

I’ve only sent two cards this year, and I refuse to send any to DH’s family any. He can do them.
And all I’ve bought for DH is a jumper. That’s it.

Me too op but it's been another hard year. Covis is still here and it's not restrictions like last year, but there is anxiety and uncertainty about it all. I think it can be hard to feel festive. For the first year ever (I'm 30s) I'm not even eating my advent calendar chocolates. I just forget 🤷‍♀️
Hopefully the actual Christmas days will be lovely and a bright new year ahead.

Also constantly worried one of us is going to pick up covid and be isolating!

Meh here too. 18 months into a crohns flare up, now CEV due to all the drugs they've got me on that aren't working. Anxious of even catching a cold (which I feel like I've not got brewing) DC are now teens so not particularly interested. Meh.

I was thinking of starting a hashtag #moststressfulchristmasever. Usually there's a point where you relax a bit because you're as ready as you need to be. This year I feel like there's potential for it all to go horribly wrong right up to the last minute. Hopefully the day itself is enjoyable.

I know how you feel OP - I'm the same this year and I usually really love Christmas. For me it's partly the dc getting older and not as giddy and excited any more, ds1 has a part time job and has been working every day this week so he's not even around, plus the underlying anxiety of Covid still hanging over everything.

I know it's ridiculous but I had a far better Christmas last year when we were in lockdown and the dcs were around all the time, as we made the best of it and went for lots of walks, played games, watched films together - it was like having them little again.

My mental health is out of control and no psych appointment until end of January. I am so anxious/stressed/down that my Dr has prescribed Diazepam to get me through and I'm popping them left right and centre. Usually adore Christmas and the build up.

You are not alone. All the build up and pressure is so not worth it. Dd 20 and Ds 19 aren't really interested (Dd quite likes the social element though), dh and I are exchanging token gifts and to add the icing to the cake (except we don't have Christmas cake because I can't be bothered with it..) ive switched the tree lights on this morning and half of them aren't working. Now I will have to go looking for new set because it looks a pretty sad tree .
I wish I was on a beach somewhere!!

I think it has something to do with Xmas Eve being on a friday. A lot of people working right up till Xmas eve. Plus the pandemic of course.

I was feeling pretty meh about the whole thing last week and at the start of this week, dd2 and I had had a big fall out (she's my youngest, just turned 18) and I was just thinking "they're all old enough now, I don't have to bother with stockings etc" even though I'd done some nice present stocking filler shopping.

Sat yesterday wrapping up and actually cried as I thought it wasn't worth it. Pulled myself together and just thought I should get it done! Being stupid!

Then dd2 (also have ds19 and dd1 21) got in from work and immediately gave me a huge hug and said she was fed up being cross with me! So now Christmas is back on and I'm feeling 1000% more Christmassy! Dd1 is coming home from tomorrow until Monday (she lives with her boyfriend about 10 mins away but he's going to his parents for Christmas), MIL arrives today (she's lovely and a huge help), and I weighed myself this morning and I'm still a stone and a half down on my starting weight even though I drank too much wine at the weekend!

Just push on through, you'll get there, and in the future your kids will be really thankful for the work you put in when they were small, and hopefully will still be nagging for stockings and Santa when they're 18,19 and 21!

@queenofcauliflower

I have been really upset about this this morning. I just feel like it's a massive fucking hassle this year. My parent died a month ago, I have a teenage son with a broken bone who needs help to wash/walk about the house and we've already had a birthday this week so that might be why I feel so flat and energy sapped but I'm just so joyless and listless this year. I just can't be bothered and feel so unfestive.

I know it's selfish and silly but I feel so cross that I'm doing all this work and there will be fuck all for me under the tree in all the piles of gifts (DH and I agreed not to get each other anything). I hate myself for feeling like this but I can't help feeling furious that after months of planning, buying, sorting, spending this whole week cleaning and tidying and food shopping then spending most of Christmas day in the kitchen and hosting, that there will be nothing for me. I know it's irrational, I'm an adult and have (some) disposable income to treat myself sporadically and it's my birthday in March so I will be spoilt (& spoil myself) then.

Oh gosh that isn't unreasonable for you to feel cross. Definitely treat yourself to something lovely that you wouldn't normally buy.

Op l am the same as you...just a shit load of work to make sure everyone else else has a nice day. I am always glad when it is over

I'm not usually excited about Christmas, but this year is different - in July, I got Covid then Pneumonia, was on a ventilator for 2 wks, woke up in a hospital 60 miles from home, unable to move my limbs, swallow or speak - I'd had a stroke. Now, I'm 95% back to normal, and so glad. I've got things into perspective, it's not about how much money/size of a house/what car/holidays/savings etc., a person has, it's about being with family and making the most of things.

Me too and I don’t think it’s the pandemic as I loved Christmas last year. I think it’s because we usually do Christmassy things up in the run up but haven’t due to having COVID and the fact the Gov decided to flounder on making a decision on what was going on… makes it feel like it was on hold for a bit and I still feel like it’s mid December not the 3 days before.

I feel a bit like this too. I love Christmas and I was so excited in November: planning; writing lists in my wee Christmas planning book; adding to the gifts I’d already bought etc. DP and I each have one child from our previous marriages and they’re with their other parent this weekend so we had what’s now referred to as ‘little Christmas’ last weekend. So I suppose it’s felt as if Christmas is ‘done’ as I did stockings for the children; Little Christmas Eve buffet, Christmas dinner, obligatory country park walk etc etc. Sunday was Little Boxing Day (and included our booster jabs!) It was so lovely but my god have I felt flat these past few days! DP and I are driving to my parents later today, which we’ve not had the excitement around as omicron and fear of restrictions has rather taken the shine off things. So I’m trying to muster some energy and enthusiasm to get packed!

But yeah: combination of age and just how jaded I think people are feeling after almost two years of a pandemic hasn’t exactly made for festive excitement!!!

That being said, remember that the 12 days of Christmas don’t begin until December the 25th so maybe see that as the start and aim to enjoy yourself right up to the 6th!! (And I’ll take my own advice, maybe…)