Feel like I have no friends

[Cantgetgoing]

Not sure why I'm posting here really but thought I would see if anyone had thoughts that might help. I'm in my late 20s, no children yet and I feel like I don't really have any friends. I try really hard to be nice to people and I would say I have some acquaintances and "mutual" friends with DP, although I feel like they are mostly his as noone ever speak to me outside of meeting up as a group. I've had some health difficulties this year and as a result im feeling really low, comfort eating and struggling with motivation.
I feel ungrateful as I have a lovely home, a job I adore and a nice partner but I just feel so lonely and sad.
I'm struggling to get myself going and now the house is a mess and I'm putting weight on which isn't helping. I have lots of time off over Christmas but feeling lost just on my own.

You need to work on your self-esteem -- the vibe you are almost certainly giving off is 'No one will want to be friends with me, because I'm not interesting' and 'Walk on by, nothing to see here.'

I think that if you sort out how you feel about yourself, and put yourself out there, join clubs, invite colleagues for a drink, etc when you feel you're an interesting, valuable person, with lots to offer in a friendship, then things will happen more easily.

Ah, sweetheart, you need to be kind to yourself. These things come and go in life. Just because it seems like this today, doesn't mean it'll be like it forever.

I'm in my 40s and I've met another woman, also in her 40s and we've become firm friends out of nowhere! I wasn't expecting it, she wasn't expecting it and its glorious.

Take some time to do some of the things you like. From that, other stuff will come. I promise.

Have you tried to meet others outside of his group? Any clubs etc? Meetup.com is very good.

I felt like this around the same age- it’s a bit of a transitional time. Also you probably do have friends but when you’re feeling low it’s v easy to overlook them. I’d work on self care and see if you still feel the same after a week of eating and sleeping well

Being nice doesn’t automatically make friends. Women are very much conditioned to be nice on a societal level and worry very much about acceptance.

Find things you like doing, try as many things as possible. I know some things are hard to try now due to the pandemic but basically know yourself and actually who you want to get to know, you may hopefully find your own passion. I can think of plenty of nice people I have met but we had absolutely nothing in common at all.

One of my closest friends is a political journalist our mutual interests and experiences cross over so much, we have both met a lot of politicians over the years due to work and we both love military and social history.

I have relocated twice so have had to make friends, I had to meet many individuals to find people I could truly connect with.

Being nice doesn’t automatically make friends. Women are very much conditioned to be nice on a societal level

I think that's entirely true, and it's something you see an awful lot on here in posts from people who say they're lonely and feel friendless. Like you, I'm someone who has moved around a lot internationally, so have had to be pro-active about making friends, and 'nice' isn't something I look for in friends. I look for people who adore what they do often they work in the arts or academia and who are good talkers, and who are interested in their own lives and the world around them.

Some really good points here thank you. I'll definitely look into starting some stuff in the new year it's just tricky with covid at the moment. Ironically I don't think anyone in real life would ever guess I feel like this - to the outside world I'm bubby, chatty and probably seen quite confident but it's all a façade.