If your toddler hit & pushed other children, how would you deal with it?

[Hogu]

A friend of mines DS has started hitting and pushing other children, he's done it for a few months now and it's usually for no reason just totally out the blue. Today he kept pushing my ds and then hit him in the face. His mum told him to stop but he just kept laughing.
Since that happened she's messaged to say how guilty she feels for shooting at her DS.

Personalliy I don't think she did shout and secondly if she did it didn't even register with him as he just kept laughing.

I know they all go through these phases as it's part of toddlerhood etc but I was a bit surprised by her reaction afterwards. How would you deal with a toddler going through this?

*shouting not shooting!!!

Time out step every time? She is right in that shouting is probably not the appropriate way to react to it.

How old is he?

I wouldn't shout, it would be utterly pointless and counterproductive. Punishments certainly aren't appropriate with very young children either. I would probably remove my child, sit out with them for a few minutes and explain that what they did was wrong, we use gentle hands etc. I'd expect to have to do this many times - toddlers need calm, consistent treatment to learn appropriate behaviour. I wouldn't cave to pressure from others to make a big show of punishing my child when I know it isn't the best way to moderate their behaviour.

I’d shout and remove if it kept happening. It’s alright saying gentle hands, be consistent, god for it shout when another child is slapping yours in the face . Unacceptable. If there’s retaliation, older sibling whacks toddler, friend who got slapped, punches back harder. What then.

DS aged 2 hits, pinched and bites his older siblings, fortunately he seems to only have done it once at the childminders to other children! I immediately do a time out. We also try to work out what's prompted it, e.g. it can be a reaction to older siblings snatching toys off him or him wanting a turn with their toys, and model the solution we want him to use like asking for a timer so he can take turns. Sometimes he's just tired and grumpy and his impulse control has gone completely. It can be hard not to get cross and shout!

Shouting isn't parenting, it's a failure of parenting. We all have our less-than-glorious moments, but to cite shouting at a toddler as something you intend to do is pretty crap, really.

He's almost 3. It wasn't nice to witness my DS get pushed several times then smacked in the face. I know it's going to happen but it's not nice.

I would have done a timeout with mine I think, I usually remove him if he misbehaves but I was just a bit confused that all she seems bothered about is how loud she may have come across, which she wasn't loud at all. I think I'd have been mortified if it had been the other way round.