Need help with MIL

[Terribleluck]

She's staying with us but she's miserable. I think the DC and pets are too much noise for her. She also struggles to understand me due to my accent so I've become even shyer / more self conscious when talking to her, so I might be unconsciously avoiding it. She's never happy though, and my DH always gets stressed around her, so I know it's not me, but it's hard to deal with.

Give yourself permission to fail. You can do your best but you cant make her happy and it doesnt sound like you are responsible for her unhappiness. Is your house configured in such a way that you could settle her in a quiet corner with the telly/a book/her knitting for a bit?

Have you asked her what she fancies doing today?

The problem is if you ask her what does she want to do/eat she'll say "I don't mind/I'm easy" or any variation of those two. She obviously does mind, but I do t know her well enough to figure it out (and my DH struggles with it are best of times).

If she is such a problem why have her to stay with u. Its your house

Oh I like that "give yourself permission to fail".

You have hosted, tried and failed!
Leave her to it, drop the rope.

This is really on your DH to sort.

I take it she has no one else? I'd recommend that in future years, she doesn't come so far ahead of Christmas.

There's three siblings. She usually stays with the one closer to her home, it's the first time we have her for the festive season. In previous years she stayed with my SIL, but our new house is bigger and we have a guest room, thus why she's staying with us this year.

You could try giving her limited choices . We are going to x, would you like to join us or would you rather stay home/read your book etc. You could also maybe give her little jobs to do - help you get tea, look after the baby, read to the toddler. Stuff that would actually help you.

Give her permission To go to her room for breaks/naps/peace and quiet. I stay with family over Xmas normally I’m on my own it’s massive change to loud busy and screaming kids household. Nobody bats an eye lid if I need some me time.

If she still wants stay with you every waking moment and is rolling eyes at kids making a racket then it’s her own fault for being a martyr.

She has her own room and she's always free to go and have some "me" time. I'll try about the mini tasks, I can see that the toddler is the only thing that makes her smile.