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Original poster

How to solve tiredness??

25 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 00:59

OK, "sleep more" isn't an option because my twins don't sleep through the night and my body knows they wake around midnightish so won't relax properly and then sometimes it's 4 am and the older one is in our bed for 6.

So what can I sensibly take to be more awake in the day? I'm so tired in the morning, rally I ntbe afternoon and then can't sleep at night

OP posts:

minipie · 21/12/2021 01:09

Coffee?

But really, sleep more is the only option. Can you go to bed earlier? You may be running on adrenaline by the time you go to bed and that’s why you can’t sleep.

Do you have a DP? Can they take the midnight wake up and then you do the early morning one? Or vice versa?

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 01:12

It isn't regular enough to ask him to stay up for and he doesn't hear them (hearing impaired) so even if he deals with them I can hear it all and can't sleep and I just end up going in so one of us can sleep (he then has to do the early get up)

By the time we've say down after tea and tidy up it's 9. Had so much to do in the run up to Xmas and normally that's my only time to study although I'm struggling to study without dozing off!

I'm fairly immune to caffeine lol. A hot coffee at bedtime wouldn't keep me awake for example. I think my body just doesn't recognise it as a drug anymore 😂

OP posts:

minipie · 21/12/2021 01:16

Earplugs might help - so eg if you do the midnight wake up, and he takes the morning, at least you are less disturbed by the morning wake up.

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Thebathneedscleaned · 21/12/2021 01:16

Sleep more or do less in the day. That's it really.

Accept you can't do it all and trying to do it all will only end up in you having a sleep deprived, iron deficiency fueled nervous breakdown in theee years. Because yes, I've been there.

YukoandHiro · 21/12/2021 01:19

I don't have twins but I have two children who are one and four and they tag team having bad nights. I haven't slept much for years and it's really getting to me too.
Caffeine is the answer. And dreaming about the teen years I think

AnotherMansCause · 21/12/2021 01:19

Sleep whenever you can, especially by going to bed early & having a lie in whenever you can. Nutritionally dense food - I don't necessarily mean calories, but concentrate more on eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables of lots of different colours, hopefully you will maximise your intake of naturally present vitamins & minerals. Don't rely on caffeine, sugar etc. Ideally, no caffeine after about 2pm.
Wind down screens at bedtime, then hopefully if/when you are disturbed at night time you will easily got back to sleep. If you are studying can you read a book pr printed course materials in the evening instead of on a screen?

MoiraNotRuby · 21/12/2021 01:25

As much daylight as you can during the day, especially morning, especially outdoors. Eat lettuce after the twins fall asleep. If you had an alarm set for midnight would that allow you to sleep at say 10pm, without being on 'alert' because you know the alarm has you covered?

GingerbreadandJellytots · 21/12/2021 01:38

Red bull? Pro plus? Amphetamines?

Seriously though, sleep is the only real answer. At one point my kids slept so badly I got by on 10 minute power naps a lot of the time, but there really is no substitute for sleep. I used to fall asleep trying to drink my coffee often enough that I had to stop drinking it sitting down because I kept spilling it on myself. I did find doing short bursts of exercise and short meditations helped a little bit too.

GingerbreadandJellytots · 21/12/2021 01:39

Also, drink plenty of water. Take your vitamins. Don't Over do the carbs. Get enough healthy fats in your diet and spend as much time outside as possible.

immersivereader · 21/12/2021 01:43

Why is it gone 9 by the time you sit down? Let your h do the tidy up. And no way should it take that long.

Go to bed as soon as the kids are asleep, that's what I did.

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 08:29

@immersivereader

Why is it gone 9 by the time you sit down? Let your h do the tidy up. And no way should it take that long.

Go to bed as soon as the kids are asleep, that's what I did.

DH takes the kids up at 7, I tidy and cook, he comes down past 8, we sit and eat, he makes a drink, we tidy away. By then it's 9ish so sorry I meant when I get to do uni work it's 9.

They woke up at midnight and then 3.30. At 4.30 they were totally awake and I woke him to take them down so I managed to sleep from gone 5 til he woke me at 8. They didn't sleep so he was up from 4.30 and is now at work.

I think the issue is I'm so tired that I'm terrible at keeping on top during the day so at bedtime everything is out and messy and muddled so then it takes forever. And I'm tired so I'm not overly efficient and I'm touched out and want my cold coffee on peace so I'm slow

In the day I feel like the minute I open a cupboard to put something away, someone gets three more things out so I don't bother

OP posts:

Fallagain · 21/12/2021 08:34

Why are cooking twice? Just cook once and in an ideal world eat earlier with the girls. Once a week or more often when the youngest is going through yet another bad patch with sleep I go to bed as soon as the kids are asleep.

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 08:36

If course the bigger issue is I've broken my kids so they won't sleep through. They wake for a drink but scream if I leave to get one, scream when it's finished if they've not dropped off, need to be touched to sleep if they wake although will self settle at initial bedtime. I've broke them

OP posts:

Fallagain · 21/12/2021 10:27

You haven’t broken them. Your children sound totally average, fucking exhausting but normal.

reallyisthisallthereis · 21/12/2021 11:08

Every now and again put your dh on duty so to speak. I used to catch up on sleep at the weekend by either sleeping in or having a very early night - maybe a Friday night. I've always found I can manage 4- 5 nights of broken sleep as long as I can have one unbroken night to reset.

I would buy some earplugs and make it clear that your dh is on duty for a night.

JuneOsborne · 21/12/2021 11:10

Have you tried taking vitamin d and an iron supplement, like spatone?

EmpressCixi · 21/12/2021 15:14

Twin babies are harder than single babies. A good friend of mine had twins and she said they never slept at the same time, so she and her partner were child minding round the clock. They ended up getting a babysitter in some afternoons for a few hours just so that they could nap. It made a big difference to them because they said they could let themselves relax knowing the twins were being cared for just downstairs.

Jacaranda75 · 21/12/2021 15:18

Cook once, eat at 8pm, then go to bed at 8.30 pm. Tidy up the next morning. Try and study during the day, when the DC have a nap. Or at weekends when your DH is around.

Avarua · 21/12/2021 15:24

Get food delivered for a bit and pay for a home helper. Just for a bit. Ease your burden. You're doing amazing.

Bellafrenum · 21/12/2021 15:32

Sleep trainer for twins.

Best money we ever spent.

Bellafrenum · 21/12/2021 15:37

To clarify, I don't have twins. But I did have a baby who didn't sleep and it nearly killed me. I don't know how you are managing with 2.

We paid a sleep training lady, she promoted a gentle approach (not cry it out) so it took a week or so from start to finish. It changed our lives - I'm not kidding. Dd was like a different child I the day - so much happier and I got myself back. You all need sleep, there are no substitutions really.

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 15:49

@Fallagain

You haven’t broken them. Your children sound totally average, fucking exhausting but normal.

Everyone else's two year old seem to sleep through mostly

OP posts:

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 15:53

I contemplated asking for bloods to see if I'm low on anything re tiredness but I figured they'd just tell me everyone with toddlers is tired so to suck it up. Like Fallagain said, they're just typical toddlers. So I shouldn't find it harder than anyone else.

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NeverDropYourMoonCup · 21/12/2021 15:58

Everyone else is lying except for a select few whose children have always slept solidly. Trust me.

Earplugs & eye mask for you and no bright lights from an hour before the first child's bedtime for all of you. No bright lights when they wake up. DP trained to move like a ninja (hearing issues mean some people don't realise how loud they are being and wake children up). Soft flooring. Doors oiled and heavy curtains to block out light. No nightlights to keep children awake when they rouse slightly.

Then lots of daylight and activity in the morning.

It doesn't solve everything, but it makes it slightly more physically tolerable, because you get some sleep in between the wakenings.

Original poster

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 18:47

Tbf their room is DARK. I need my phone light to spot toddlers lying on the floor 😂

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