Conspiracy theories that you heard about in primary school

[Anon778833]

Earlier, some conspiracy theories that were spoken about in primary school surfaced in my mind.

1. The cigarette company Marlboro is a racist organisation which hides ‘KKK’ in plain sight within its branding typography.

1. McDonald’s was bankrolling the IRA.

Anyone else remember these if you were an 80s child? (Or if you weren’t!)

I remember the kkk one! Wonder if it's true

Not really conspiracy, more a warning.

If you go to close to a swan it can break your arm. 🙄

The moon landing ones! And JFK. Don’t think I encountered many other conspiracy theories in primary school. It was the late postwar period in a still very sedate and Christian town in the north west, in an actually not very conspiracy-theory-minded period in British history at all. People trusted the government and the health service and authorities even if they didn’t always like them.

KFC has bred chickens without feathers, legs or a beak to minimise to minimise wastage

@Dirtystreetpie

KFC has bred chickens without feathers, legs or a beak to minimise to minimise wastage

Didn’t this one come from Margaret Atwood’s book, ‘Oryx & Crake’ of did she get the idea from the original conspiracy theory?

@LagerthaofKattegat

Not really conspiracy, more a warning.

If you go to close to a swan it can break your arm. 🙄

Oh yes, similarly, if someone tries to steal your money at the cash point, you enter your PIN backwards and the police magically appear who on earth in their right mind could actually give that one airtime?

I heard that cashpoint one at uni and always thought, what a useful thing to know. It only occurred to me years later that my PIN at the time was a palindrome 😂

Mine too, @Beachhuts90 [grins]

Maybe that actually would have been believable at one time before the police were too busy to ever attend any crime again!!

I remember the KKK one. Someone also told me if you read Marlboro in a mirror it says orobl (horrible) Jew.

@Wowcherarestalkingme

I remember the KKK one. Someone also told me if you read Marlboro in a mirror it says orobl (horrible) Jew.

I remember "orobl Jew"!!

Isn't there meant to be something on the Camel pack as well?

Remember the kkk one too..

Ooooh the kfc cyst! Someone's friends aunty (of course) gets a chicken burger from kfc and bites into it and wonders why there's mayonnaise in there when she didn't order any. Then inspects closely and realises it's actually a cyst on the chicken 🤢

I remember the KKK one!

I definitely thought the swan one was true, is it not?! Not that a swab would automatically break your arm every time you got close to it but that it had the....wing strength to do so. Oh shit that sounds really fucking stupid now 😂

There was always the teacher who'd gotten a sixth former pregnant. Although in my school that could have been possible. Our teacher actually did have a relationship with a sixth former. The Daily Mail found out and went for a double page spread (teacher and sixth former were both female so they went very salacious). School knew and suspended the teacher before it made the papers but lied as to why she was off so it wasn't great for them when the story broke. Nor for the teacher when she came back to work. Especially as she was a pe teacher and no longer allowed in the changing rooms at the all girls school! Thing is, me and my friend had spotted them at a public event holding hands before she got suspended and questioned what was going on with our other friends on the bus. We got hauled over the coals for making stuff up!

Anyway sorry. Batshit rumours and conspiracies! I'll try and think of more, I love them!

The camel pack is that if you look at the picture you can see a cock. That was true. I mean you could see the shape of a man with a cock if you looked at part of the picture. I remember an American boy called Dave showing me. I don't know if it's still the case as I haven't bought a pack of camels for ages.

I remember the KFC cyst one.

Also a woman had a spot on her arm and she scratched it and a load of spiders ran out. Another woman had a spot near her eye and did the same thing with the same result.

And the girl who frigged herself with a frozen sausage and it got stuck so she asked her dad to help her get it out.

And the girl who didn't wash enough and she got bit on the fanny by a dog.

Those are urban myths though not conspiracies.

Oh yes, good old urban myths - I remember them too.

Goodness back in dark ages at primary schools closest we got were Eat an Apple pip a tree will grow in your stomach and pull a face and the wind changes it will stay like it. Oh and it a dandelion reflected yellow on your chin it meant you wet the bed. Those where the days.

If you swallowed chewing gum it would stick to your heart for 7 years

You could make your friend float if you all stood around them put two fingers underneath them and chanted ' light as a feather, stiff as a board' and your friend would then float

Say candy man or Bloody Mary three times in the mirror and they will appear

Smash a mirror 7 years bad luck

If you sneezed with your eyes open all your organs would pop out

Smash a mirror 7 years bad luck.

Swallow gum it took 7 years to digest. Or you'd blow bubbles out your arse.

McDonalds nuggets were made of chicken feet.

If you took electronic devices, or fireworks or fire crackers, into the Channel Tunnel they'd blow up.

If you sneeze with your eyes open your eyes fall out.

If you soak a slice of bread in coca cola and bicarb of soda, a seagull would eat it and explode.

My nan used to tell me if you swallow seeds or pips you'd grow trees in your belly.

And so much about the Bermuda triangle that still puzzles me today. What the heck goes on in there?!

@whysoserious123

If you swallowed chewing gum it would stick to your heart for 7 years

You could make your friend float if you all stood around them put two fingers underneath them and chanted ' light as a feather, stiff as a board' and your friend would then float

Say candy man or Bloody Mary three times in the mirror and they will appear

Smash a mirror 7 years bad luck

If you sneezed with your eyes open all your organs would pop out

I remember the 'making people float' one. And the McDonald's cyst.

That a certain musician had been taken to hospital to have his stomach pumped in New York
Seemingly there was 6 pints of semen recovered.
I know that I am not the only person to have heard this

I remember the sneezing one and gum sticking to your heart for 7 years too.

And bloody Mary was supposed to haunt the loos at my school. I'm not sure any of us actually knew who Bloody Mary was or why she would be haunting the lower junior girls loos in a 60s built primary school in the arse end of nowhere.

A friend of a friend knows someone who runs a bed and breakfast. They had an Irish man who stopped for a couple of nights who upon leaving said to the landlady that she was a nice kind lady and because of that she shouldn’t go to * insert name of local shopping centre, as it was an IRA bombing target. This urban myth did the rounds when the IRA were bombing the mainland. Quite pleased that I lived in a one horse town that had no shopping centre !

Both if these will out my location but

1. A friend of a friends aunt was at the Metrocentre and saw someone in front drop their wallet. She grabs it and returns it to the owner who says something along the lines of "thanks, because you were so kind, I'm letting you know to stay away from the Metrocentre on X Date as something serious will happen"

1. Someone's brother's girlfriends sister is on the Metro and can see three girls in the seats ahead, the one in the middle is asleep. Police board and escorted her off the metro telling her the middle girl isnt asleep, she has been murdered by the two girls holding her up

@A596881B

A friend of a friend knows someone who runs a bed and breakfast. They had an Irish man who stopped for a couple of nights who upon leaving said to the landlady that she was a nice kind lady and because of that she shouldn’t go to * insert name of local shopping centre, as it was an IRA bombing target. This urban myth did the rounds when the IRA were bombing the mainland. Quite pleased that I lived in a one horse town that had no shopping centre !

And has been rehashed as a Muslim woman in recent years.

I heard the IRA funds McDonalds one

There's one about a certain actor and a small rodent too.

@A596881B

A friend of a friend knows someone who runs a bed and breakfast. They had an Irish man who stopped for a couple of nights who upon leaving said to the landlady that she was a nice kind lady and because of that she shouldn’t go to * insert name of local shopping centre, as it was an IRA bombing target. This urban myth did the rounds when the IRA were bombing the mainland. Quite pleased that I lived in a one horse town that had no shopping centre !

Yes I remember that too. Then it changed to Muslims after 9/11 no doubt started by racists