Losing friends in the pandemic?

[CaliforniaDrumming]

I didn't have many and now they are all drifting away. This isn't an Omicron or a protect Xmas thing. They were drifting away before that.
Everybody seems to have forgotten how to socialise, or they are so exhausted they just want to Netflix and collapse on the couch. Getting a bit sick of only talking to DH. Anyone else?

Oh you all have steadfast friends!

If they were drifting away before everything COVID related I doubt thats behind it. It probably hastened things though.

I put that badly. I mean they drifted away in the pandemic, but pre this latest Omicron scare.

I know what you mean, op. Friendship groups seem to have shifted a bit. People are less sociable.

I think people are possibly planning less though because it's so frustrating to have things cancelled. We've perhaps got a bit apathetic. I think it will improve again after this wave subsides.

I think there’s been a lot of judgement about behaviour and people are afraid of being judged- whether that’s because of breaking “the rules” or keeping them stringently, being vaccinated or not, opinions about schools being open or closed, support or opposition to restrictions….the list goes on. I’m pretty sure one of my friendship groups has stopped interacting as before just because everyone has been worried that they might upset or offend people with their decisions.

Same here
Quite pissed off tbh. The ones who have disappeared have mostly told me they are very happy. They don't need friends any more, it seems.

One has vanished into a spiral of fear and another into conspiracies.

I think mine would have if I didn’t keep asking them to meet up or contacting them. Don’t get me wrong, they seem very happy to meet up but never arrange it themselves. They’re very quiet messaging as well but if I send a message, then I’ll get a long conversation going.

I really miss my friend who became a conspiracy theorist. It’s no good trying to reconnect or recover what we had, as she simply can’t talk about anything else...
Most of my friends haven’t seen my baby, who was born in summer 2020. That makes me a bit sad, too.

Yes, I feel this. I don't know if its the pandemic or if it's kids or what. We were the first in our friendship group to have kids so we made a lot of effort to still see friends, to make sure my DH could settle the baby so I could (very occasionally) go out, that sort of thing.
Now my friends all have kids and they are the only one who can settle him, can't leave baby with his dad etc.
We've tried to arrange meals out, gatherings just for adults at our house etc. Nobody will leave the baby. And if they come with the baby then it's day times only to not disrupt baby's bedtime, and they can only stay a short while because they need to get home for baby's routine. And my DC then want to chat with them and show them things and we never actually get to chat properly.
And now I'm left with basically no friends. I'm a sahm which is quite isolating anyway.
I think because they had kids in the pandemic, it's made them quite anxious and obviously used to being at home with the baby, and they find going out (either with or without the baby) difficult.
I feel desperate for adult chat, and to be able to socialise without the kids taking over all the attention.

Similar here. I have young children which makes things more complicated but when I've arranged things recently it often feels like nobody wants to leave their cosy home :( The meet ups that do happen tend to be for a special occasion but no longer just because. I often feel like conversation is a bit stilted too, between Covid and wfh there just isn't that varied range from the before times.
I did take the initiative to put myself out there and arranged something with some new mum friends which was lovely. However there were lots of cancellations as people wanted to stay home.

I am lucky not to have any conspiracy theorists as friends and we are mostly on the same page regarding vaccines. But I feel like they have become very apathetic and it is always up to me to suggest meeting, and then I feel too pushy.

Then there are the ones who have become lockdown lovers. They really like things being much less busy, apparently. I would understand that if we all had super busy lives, but most of us WFH now, have DC in their teens, and can probably make the time to meet once a month. I think a lot of people have decided that friends are optional. It makes me sad.

I’ve not seen a lot of my good friends since before this all started. I think winter isn’t helping now as we all “hunker down”. I don’t think it’s necessarily forever - I hope we will all get back together a little next year.

It is hard. I’m quite up for socialising in quite a contained way with people I know. Eg I we’re luck to have the spaces and I like entertaining at the house for us and DC.

Some previously good friends have gone the other way - they want to go clubbing, out to dinner, drinking etc. We’re all in our 40s and I generally fancy this less but particularly don’t want to go out much at the moment. I’m sure they think we’re boring or “scared”. DF was complaining about people cancelling plans this week.

They’re good people and we’re still friends but clearly we have different attitudes to risk and public health. So I’m sure it affects things.

They’re good people and we’re still friends but clearly we have different attitudes to risk and public health.

I think this is the new thing that friendships have had to contend with and navigate. When you have differing views to it combined with living through a pandemic, I think it can make friendships difficult that were previously solid.