How to stop feeling broody? I need to stop this feeling!

[MerryBumpmas]

I have 3 of the same gender, so people are naturally always asking me when I’m having another (like 3 children aren’t enough!). I brush it off with a laugh but inside I’m still so broody. I wish I felt ‘done’.

A lot of people are adamant no more, they just know. How do I get to feel like this?

My youngest is 8 months and I don’t have periods again yet so can’t blame those hormones! I just get soo broody, my cousin has just had a baby & my best friend is pregnant.

How do you swallow the feeling?

For full disclosure - we do have a spare room & could afford one more (well who knows when they’re teenagers). I think it would be easier if we didn’t have that ‘option’ as it would rule it out. If we had one of the opposite sex, maybe I’d feel different (but I doubt it!). I hate feeling this way!

Count your blessings.

This may sound cruel to say but just imagine your 4th could be disabled and wreck the happy dynamics u have.

I have one, disabled from birth

Just do it if you can afford the time and love for a fourth.

You could have 4 5 6 and still feel broody

How old are you and what ages are your kids? I have 3 and when I see a baby there is that niggling doubt and question. I try to do head over heart, plus I’m getting a bit old.

Well lots of people feel like this

It’s fucking bad for the planet though. Get a kitten?

What stopped my broodiness was having no4 born very premature, spending five weeks in NICU. DH got the snip six months later.

I never ever will risk pregnancy again after such a traumatic birth. Killed broodiness off immediately even a year after my youngest was born. Four years on still no feelings of broodiness. Just relief I never have to put myself through the worry again.

One of the previous posters has a point, you may end up with a child with disabilities. Count your blessings.

Just think of the awful future children will have in dealing with the effects of climate change and future pandemics.its not gonna be an easy ride.to be honest,I dont know how people have the confidence to bring kids into this world.It must be survival instinct.

Give it time. I think peak broodiness hits when the youngest is about 2. The further you then get from the baby days, the less appealing it feels to contemplate going back to that.

If you’re surrounded by pregnant women and babies I think it’s natural to feel broody. This time in your life will pass though. At one time everyone I knew seemed to be pregnant and babies were everywhere. Now ten years on I don’t know anyone who is expecting.

It is hormones.

Once your youngest gets to school and you think, oh maybe one day I might enjoy my life again, then you realise it really is hormones that keeps you thinking that the normal thing to keep doing is to have another.

I just had my fourth (8 months ago) and now I know that I am ‘done’ and no longer feel broody. I didn’t feel like that after my others. I did feel worried about something going wrong and was already very grateful for my three beautiful children but I had a longing for another child…especially after another miscarriage. I now feel like our family is complete and I haven’t felt like this before x

I felt like this, even after three children and medical advice not to have another. I had my tubes tied. After that the constant thoughts of 'maybe just one more...' went away. I'm still slightly broody but having the option removed permanently calmed my head down and I could focus on the life and children I have. I'm so glad I did now they are older and parenting them has become more complicated.

I've always found the broodiest times were soon after having a baby, so your feelings might change as your youngest grows.

It's bloody awful when people make comments that you only have the same gender.

I have a little boy and I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant with a girl.

The amount of time people say: "Oh, it's nice that you will have two of each"

I wouldn't have been any less happy if it had happened to be a little boy. Main thing is that the baby is healthy.

We went for an early private scan with this baby and when the lady at the clinic found out I had already a boy, she said: "Oh, maybe if you're lucky, this baby will be a girl".

I had to stop her in her tracks and say: "No, I would be happy about a boy as well, two boys are nice as well"

This was also after I had a miscarriage and my only goal was to get a pregnancy that sticks.

If you and your husband really want and can afford a 4th child, go for it.

Just be aware that there is no guarantee it will be the other gender and no guarantee it will be a healthy baby.

I feel a bit like this; we have three (two joint DC and DSD) and I feel thinly stretched between them as it is which has actually been clearer as they get older so that’s a big push towards not having any more

@YogaLite I’m sorry, that sounds so hard

@FiloPasty I’m 30 so young enough too. It is a head over heart thing isn’t it, I want my 3 to have the best (of my time as well as financially), but there’s just a big part of me that wants another. I always feel envious of people who are 100% done but then as this thread shows there are some traumatic reasons why so maybe it’s normal for me, having not been there.

I have 3 (3rd is newborn) and I've found 8-12 months pp to be the broodiest time with the other two! But we are definitely stopping now. I'm going to have to grit my teeth through the inevitable broody bit which I fully anticipate happening again. As pp have said, count your blessings and think of all the lovely things you can do when all your lot are out of the baby and toddler stage. I also have 3 of the same sex and it's honestly incredible how many people assume we will "try" for the other sex with a 4th! Um, no. Also we have friends who did this and ended up with twins...definitely not risking going from 3 to 5!

@teaandchocolate1 it’s really annoying, people want me to have the opposite sex. Most people ask me am I going to have another when I’m with my baby, like I’m not complete without it?
Gets in my head too but absolutely no guarantee of that & I'm happy with another one regardless.
I don’t know if I did have ‘each sec’ whether that would help but I honestly think not. I love being pregnant, I love having babies & watching them grow. My oldest is only 6 though so haven’t experienced teenage years yet… maybe that will nip it in the bud

I have 4 DDs and wasn't done but head ruled heart.

Now towards the end of the teen years.

Geez stick with 3 🤣

What does your husband think? Surely he has a 50% say?

I don't think the feeling ever truly goes away, it's evolutionary.

We are knee deep in the teenage years and yet this week I've had two huge pangs of broodiness - I've not felt it for years!

Yep I still get the pangs too 🤦🏼‍♀️

@threebillboards of course he does! He’s not wanting to get the snip but says he’s done (fair enough). I also say I’m done, but can’t help but feel ‘not done’. We are both feeling it, I think and I know he’s not 100% door closed either!

@SingingSands oh god, don’t! I’ve still got a good 10 years of child bearing age (If not more). I was hoping it would go!

@RandomMess

You could have 4 5 6 and still feel broody

This is true. I have a very large family and still broody