Anyone else arranging a funeral - what to do about the wake?

[balzamico]

Church is socially distanced, graveyard outside (obvs) but we really don't know what to do about a wake afterwards?

Lots of family can't come (we hope to livestream it) so we don't know how many to expect and also don't want to do anything risky.

Options seem to be
No wake
Tea in a heated marquee
Local pub's outdoor heated area
Picnic in local park
Go ahead as normal and Hope for the best (last option)

We didn't do a wake but it was back in Autumn 2020 when the rules meant that even if we had done, people would have had to have sat in their family groups etc and it just didn't feel like it fulfilled the purpose of a wake to us - sharing memories with people you haven't seen in person, telling stories, catching up.

People did spend quite a bit of time talking outside the crem and I guess that fulfilled a part of the above. We scattered the ashes and had the equivalent of a wake this summer and it was lovely, although a much more limited group than it would otherwise have been.

We had a family funeral last weekend, DH's family couldn't agree on a wake as there were differing opinions about covid. We ended up scattering to various houses for smaller gatherings, which didn't really fulfill the need for different parts of the family to talk to each other. There is talk of a memorial get together next summer instead, on what would have been the relative's 100th birthday.

The last funeral we went to still had close family only at the wake. That made it easier for them to know numbers and limited contacts.

We had MIL's funeral two weeks ago. Held wake as normal. Afternoon tea type affair in village hall. There weren't as many concerns when we booked it as there are now.

I’d go for a local pub outdoor heated area if you’re lucky enough to have the option. It was harder than I expected to find a decent pub venue that would take a wake booking.

Sorry for your loss.

I'd go for the pub..

It was harder than I expected to find a decent pub venue that would take a wake booking.

I suspect most pubs/restaurants will be grateful for the business now.

I couldn’t have a wake for my Dad’s funeral last Autumn/winter, we only had 5 people attend the funeral . I wish we could have had a cup of tea and a chat somewhere even if it just been for an hour.

I have been to two this week I would go for the pub option.

Do you live near a beach? Walk on the beach?

I'd say the outdoor area of the pub would be your best option, especially if it's not too far from the church.

How very sad for you to be doing this.

I went two funerals recently. The first, there was no wake as no guests were expected besides close family, the second there was a proper indoors wake. Nowadays people will understand whatever you opt for. If there is a wake and people don’t want to go, they won’t.

I’d go for pub. Covid funerals have been hard going and a lot of people feel robbed of a chance to share it.
People can make their own decisions about what they are comfortable with.
Sorry for your loss OP

I also would try for something, anything. Whatever you feel comfortable with, but local pubs I'm sure would welcome the custom. My DMum died in March and we couldn't have a wake. It was so strange to just go home afterwards. It's amazing how much a wake is part of the grieving process. My DFIL died in June and we could have a wake then, and it was lovely to sit with family for a bit and share stories and memories. It was all socially distanced and we were separate from general public.