Drowsy but awake???

[Hellocrumpets]

What is this mysterious “drowsy but awake” stage that babies are supposed to have where you can put them to bed and they drift off peacefully on their own?

If I try and put my youngest down in anything less than a deep sleep, then he just stands up and squeals / screams.

Any suggestions for a sleep deprived mummy, who has probably left it far too late (18 months old) and allowed far too many bad habits to build up?

No advice really but a handhold and and a "been there!". My DD (now 19) didn't go to sleep on her own until she was 3! My son however would not settle unless you left him alone, chalk and cheese they were.

No advice, but sympathy because I never understood the drowsy but awake stage either. We were Awake or Asleep. Youngest is still like that. I did have some success with the slow move away and rapid return.

Sorry but at 18 months, they're past the 'drowsy but awake' stage. For us, this was when they were babies so 6-9 months (probably under 6 months really)

I think sleep training is the only way forward now!

Cheers all. There was only one ‘wake up’ last night, but it did last two and a half hours!

This idea that babies and children "should" be able to fall asleep on their own (and that if they don't, you should somehow "train" then to do so) is a societal expectation (based on the sociopolitical need for babies to become "independent" as soon as possible so that their caregivers can get back to their important purpose of producing GDP), it's not a biological norm (look at any other mammal, none of them sleep separately from their young).

I'd really recommend the Facebook group The Beyond Sleep Training Project

I have no advice, on baby no 3 here and none have ever achieved this. When I'm feeling particularly sleep deprived, advice to 'put them down drowsy but awake' from well meaning friends and professionals who have children who sleep makes me want to stab the user of the phrase with a fork. Good luck.

All lies. I think 18 months may be too old now though as they are more aware of what's going on.

If you find the answer let me know!! 11 months and will be in your position too if I don't sort out her sleep.

Thanks for that recommendation @Outfoxedbyrabbits. I’ll have a look.

I don’t mind him waking, it’s just how long it takes to resettle that is causing problems.

He sleeps better if we co-sleep, but I don’t unfortunately. We have done bits of co-sleeping for the last six months, but I barely sleep, wake abruptly (panicking) shortly after dozing off and end up aching by morning, so I do t think it’s a long term solution for us.

'Drowsy but awake' really only applies to very small babies.