Is this a 'school thing' or just life?

[Anordinarymum]

I'm a grandparent and obviously a parent. I have been to many a school play or a performance by the children to mark the end of term/Christmas etc etc.. over the years where my children have been involved and also lately my grandchildren.
Can anyone please explain to me why they always seem to give the same child/children the best parts where they get the limelight every time leaving some children with nothing to do or at best a place on the stage where they do not even really join in?
I am not sour graping here - my own children are not among those who constantly get left out, but for those who do and their parents who come along only to see their child never included, I don't understand why?
For the child who pushes himself forward at every opportunity wouldn't it be kind to let him see he can't always have the lions share of the teacher's time?

Wouldn't it be great to try and include the child with little confidence to shine in front of Mum and Dad?
I know life isn't fair but at school where there is an opportunity for a little more kindness wouldn't it be a refreshing change?

I have noticed this and it always seems to be the eldest in the class whonget the best parts. My dd is the youngest and when in reception she was given the part of 'singer'. This wasn't even a 'part' as everyone in the class sang all the songs together. She had to wear a Christmas jumper from home while everybody else in the class had a costume to wear or a little prop, like a lantern to hold. I was honestly so annoyed at the time, she was so disappointed!

Our DS's primary school worked really hard to overcome that. Everyone had a part. If they wanted a speaking part they were offered one - even if it was just a line. Those who didn't want to speak but wanted to go on stage were giving walk on parts (like townsfolk in the Nativity or Santa's workshop elf in a Christmas play). Those who didn't want to go on stage helped with set design, painting backdrops, helping with lighting and running the music deck - and they got a call up at the end of the play to take their bow.

Often it's because they are reliable. My dd1 was definitely a supporting cast member in her primary school years.

Then enter stage left dd2. She was on the school council by the end of the first week and it went on from there. She was asked to be Mary in the Nativity but she said no, she wanted to be Santa so they wrote Santa in... I found the whole thing completely bizarre. I think if they needed anything done, like talking in assembly or looking after the new girl, they knew she would be capable of doing it.

She's 15 now and not even slightly like that or picked for anything.

The best system is where two children are cast for each main part and there are two performances, with each child taking the lead part in one show and a very minor part in the other.

Doubles the number of children with main parts, they can help each other learn their lines and if one is absent on the day (one reason why children who have relatives working or involved in the school are chosen is that this is less likely to happen) then there is a ready-made understudy who knows the part and fits the costume to step up seamlessly.

My son is dyspraxic. He was practically hidden right at the back so no one would see him.

It was made up for it by going to a theatre club to get some confidence.

I'm so glad he left that school. He gets to choose now

My DS’s school were good at mixing up who got the main parts. My DS was frightened when he was in reception and sat on the teacher’s lap during the production . The next year he was Joseph.
My DC were in cubs and they did a big production every two years and it was always the same DC and then their younger siblings that got the bigger parts.

My older DC is always chosen for large roles. Has been involved in 8+ school nativities and shows and never not been a main. School know DC can speak loudly, clearly, has no confidence issues and can remember a large amount of lines. DC is the easy option.

Younger DC never gets chosen as school know they are not as compliant, they would point blank refuse to participate and, if forced, would stand and not say anything to prove a point. This DC is always a sheep or part of the ensemble cast.

I personally find its the "easier option" in most cases.

LondonJax
The OP is not talking about getting everyone involved which most schools aim to do. They are talking about the confident children getting the main parts.
Stormtrooper
Would it be a good idea to force your younger ds to be a main part? If they often refuse to do things, would this be a good idea??

The easy option for schools would be to not spend hours rehearsing shows for the parents. Most parents would be most unhappy as we can see by the number of threads on here about lack of live shows.