How long to leave Toddler in Creche

[MumofGreatbutCrazyBoy]

Hello

I am a first time mum to a lockdown baby born Aug 21.

Little one is now 15 months old and is in creche 4 days a wk while I work.

I love my little boy very much
But he is soo intense and very demanding (probably they r all and its because I'm alone alot that I find it hard).

Anyways my little boy is going through a phase where he wants everything that that I touch. He's desperate to get to the dishwasher , wants to touch taps , flush the toilet, use the hoover, use the TV remote turn on the oven etc, get to my make up bag etc etc. He throws tantrums constantly when he's told no and he's not that interested in his toys. I do understand that he's trying to learn and that's why he wants to do what I'm doing and is frustrated when I won't let him

Anyways his dad has been sick for while and is due into surgery tomorrow and he is currently isolating from us in the house so I'm doing everything at the moment . Plus we have no family near by to help

On a plus point my little boy is very socialisable and goes happily into creche and I have always tried to leave him there for as short as possible a day as I feel really guilty that he's there.

My creche is open 7 30 til 6 he's usually in for 8 15 and lifted at 4 45.

I'm in a constant state of exhaustion at the minute balancing him the house ,work , caring for my husband on top of that.(Thankfully we r hopeful that surgery should help My husband and he should be able to do more next yr).

Everyone says I should put my little one into creche for a longer day and have more time to myself.

It's hard I don't want him to be brought up by strangers. I want to spend time with him each day so he knows I love him I don't want him to feel I don't want him and am sending him away all day.

I miss him when he's not with me and feel guilty but when he's with me I do feel it really difficult to get anything done and it can be challenging entertaining him and keeping him happy.

Can I ask ppl how long did you baby spend in creche each day? How to cope with the constant mum guilt? I long for a time when I can pick him up and he can understand me and be my little buddy and have conversations with me about his day instead of constantly trying to grab everything from me all the time and fight with ne as I'm trying to make his dinner ! Does it get easier?

be kind you yourself and best wishes to your husband.
In these circumstances I would avail of the extra day at creche.
You will benefit and he won't be with strangers but with qualified familiar staff.

Yes it gets easier!! I hardly have to entertain mine now. They are a primary and are great company. You will look back at this time and wonder how you did it but with fondness too

My boy, also 16months is very clingy and is just as you describe. When he is at home the house is just pulled apart and is chaotic! I often try to get on and do things when he is around but we both end up getting frustrated so I've just learned to let it go, try and have fun with him and give him attention.
He goes to nursery 3 days a week but I feel terrible as he has struggled to settle and is often exhausted so I try and pick him up at 3.30pm if I can.

I work from home which makes life a bit easier as I can tidy up and make sure meals are prepared in advance. After struggling and stressing we now have a cleaner once a week to do all the house work and she also cooks a big family meal like bolognase or chilli con carne which my husband and I eat for 2 nights and I get about 6 meals for my toddler out of it. So the freezer is always full of meals and I usually just need to cook some pasta/rice and steam veg which I do during the day when he isn't around.

I still don't have time for 'me' very much but I don't feel like I'm drowning in housework anymore.

Both of mine have been in 9-5 since they were 9 and 11 months. I think if you need extra time in the evening then do it. Realistically, you may find it’s harder to deal with a tired toddler at 6 for dinner and bed than at 5. I’ve always just plonked mine in front of the tv as soon as we get home (unless it’s summer and they can go outside) and get on with dinner. It isn’t really quality time but at least we aren’t paying for it. But I don’t think it’s better than them staying in nursery longer just because they are technically home with us.