Job situation making me wish I was dead

[Sparklydiplodocus]

I’m so stressed over this that I burst into tears after dropping my son off at school this morning and felt it would be easier if I ended everything.

I’ve been doing job 1 for a while. It’s from 2-6pm. It’s causing us problems as my son is having major anxiety and panic attacks and I really need to be at home with him after school now.

While I’ve been doing job 1 I’ve also been working on a rolling temp contract for 2 years at job 2. I’ve worked my butt off for them for no job security and fuck all pay, but it’s in a field I really want to get into, so have stuck it out.

Job 1 wasn’t working out so I applied for job 3 and got it. It’s hours that fit within school time so that’s great.

Resigned from job 1 and got told I’ve upset everyone and caused issues by doing so.

Then I Realised that the ridiculous 3 month notice period for job 1 plus job 3 starting at once will mean there is no time for job 2 for a while.

Told them that this morning and the response I got was ‘oh thanks, that’s put a cat amongst the pigeons, great, cheers.’

I feel so down. I’ve fucked everything up and everyone hates me and I’ve tried so fucking hard to juggle everything and I’m failing miserably.

Can you negotiate a shorter notice period for job 1? Any holiday owing?

But ultimately- why do you care what they think if you're leaving? Try to adopt a more detached outlook.

Honestly, both employers sound really unprofessional. Being on a rolling contract means that either you or they are able to pull out at short notice, they would not hesitate to use that to their advantage if needed so you shouldn't feel bad about doing the right thing.

Again with job 1, people come and go, that's the most predictable part of being an employer. You've done nothing wrong! Don't beat yourself up and think about how much easier things will be in once it's all sorted.

Hugs.

No, stop this. Do not waste any emotional energy on leaving jobs that you are entitled to leave.

Your employers have forgotten the nature of work. You give them your time and effort and they give you money. That's it. Its a happy benefit if you like and enjoy the people/job but essentially it's an exchange, and one you are entitled to pull out of (as you contract dictates) at any time.

If they really appreciated you they would have made you permanant (job 2) and then they wouldn't be in the position they've put themselves in by keeping you on a temporary contract.

Sometimes its entitely appropriate to put yourself and your family first. This was one of those times, you have nothing to feel guilty about. And quite frankly job 2 can piss off. Employers dont get to keep people in insecure employment and demand they shape their lives around their needs. If it had suited them to do so, theyd have got rid of you without a second thought!

Their reaction to you resigning means you have made the right choice. When I resigned from my last role my manager did not speak to me again until I left, just cemented that I had made the right decision.

Take a breath.
You do not owe an employer anything. You provide them with a service and they pay you. As you do not have a permanent contract, they can remember casual working protocol.
3 months notice is ridiculous unless you are a director or senior manager.

Take it as a compliment. You are obviously difficult to replace!
You've done nothing wrong and the nature of your contract with job 2 has put you in this position.
Just get through the notice period in a detached way.
You must be good to have three employers that all want you!

People are free to leave jobs whenever they want. Every day people are leaving old jobs, starting new ones. It's a totally normal part of life. You got a new job and are leaving your old ones. It's absolutely standard.

Just want to send you some and tell you that you definitely shouldn't end it all over a job (or anything else). I hope things improve for you soon.

You can’t please everyone! Maybe you can find a better job in the field you want to get into, with 2 years experience. You must be good if they are upset about you leaving.

It's not your job to make everyone else happy. You need to do what is best for you and your family. It's just work not
Personal and they have behaved badly. Please look after yourself.

Don't work your notice period for job 1 (if you don't need a reference) and tell job 2 to fuck themselves!

Congrats on job 3 - I hope it all works out

Resigned from job 1 and got told I’ve upset everyone and caused issues by doing so.

Oooh no. Do not fall for this bullshit, OP. There are so many employers who do this and it's just not on, guilt-tripping people who leave. Don't be sucked into it or made to feel bad.

Their reaction to you resigning means you have made the right choice. When I resigned from my last role my manager did not speak to me again until I left, just cemented that I had made the right decision.

Yep, something similar happened to me. Don't rise to it, OP.

Sometimes its entitely appropriate to put yourself and your family first. This was one of those times, you have nothing to feel guilty about. And quite frankly job 2 can piss off. Employers dont get to keep people in insecure employment and demand they shape their lives around their needs. If it had suited them to do so, theyd have got rid of you without a second thought!

Too damn right. If employers want to keep their staff, they need to offer a permanent contract with a salary and holiday pay. If they're not prepared to offer this, then they should expect a turnover of staff. They can't have their cake and eat it.

3 months notice is ridiculous unless you are a director or senior manager.

This too. I once went to a job interview for an admin position where they told me it was three months notice. They were clearly also very difficult people. Insisting on three months notice is pretentious AF unless it's a highly senior or highly specialised position.

OP, you are BRILLIANT for getting a new job! Onwards and upwards, and up yours to anyone who makes you feel bad about it!

People leave jobs. It’s life.

Job 2 wouldn’t hesitate to use the flexibility in their favour if it suited them so let them sulk that it doesn’t suit them that you are.

You’re doing the best for your family, that’s a normal and perfectly acceptable thing to do.

Your allowed to leave a job and put your family first. By the reactions of them its not very professional and especially the rolling contract , they should of given you a permanent one if they didn't want someone to leave
3 months is a long notice , do you have holiday due which you can use
Good luck with job 3

You're not failing miserably at all. You're doing right by your son and your family and that's the most important thing. Your employers who sound highly unprofessional can fuck off. Remember if it came down to it they would happily get rid of you, they're just trying to guilt you because now they have to find someone else to work in their crap place.

Congrats on finding and securing a job that works for you and your family.

Thank you all. It is helping to vent on here. Boss at Job 2 called me and was really weird on the phone, no apology for her narky response earlier about me ‘throwing a cat amongst the pigeons’, just checking is put my invoice in before the cut off point.

I’m finishing both job 1 and 2 today for Xmas and relieved for the break.

1. 3 month notice period is legally unenforcable. The statutory notice period is 1 week. If you leave early they dont have to pay you to the end of the notice period, but they do have to pay you for the work you have done.
2. Businesses job is to get the most out of their employees they can. Sometimes they do this kindly and nicely. Your experience shows that many do not. It is not personal, although it is being made to sound that way - you have not done anything wrong and they are out of line for making it sound that way.
3. They would stop your work immediately if it suited them. You don't owe them more than they do to you.

Boss at Job 2 called me and was really weird on the phone, no apology for her narky response earlier about me ‘throwing a cat amongst the pigeons

Her behaviour is verging on victim-blaming tbh. They've treated you badly for two years, they've had every opportunity to offer you a permanent contract and a salary, but nope, they've chosen not to, and now it's apparently your fault and you're causing trouble for them?! Good grief.

I had similar guilt tripping when I left my last role. I understand how you feel as it was awful at the time and they made me feel dreadful.

Now I'm out I realise how glad I am to be out of there and that their behaviour was just another example of how unprofessional they were the whole time I was in that team. They're lucky I stayed as long as I did to be honest.