Everyone thinks my little boy is a girl because he has long hair!

[Hogu]

Now I know the majority of boys have short hair but not all boys do. My little boy has longish hair. It really suits him and we all love it. I dress him like a little boy but not one single person refers to him as he. It's always she /her/little lady / princess etc! I used to correct people but I've stopped doing it now.

Has anyone else had this?

If we're moving beyond gender stereotypes, including based on appearance (which I hope we are), does it really matter if people mistake your boy for a girl? They are all just children after all.

😂 at the pissed off elf

@Legomania

Also, you want people to abide by clothing stereotypes while ignoring hair stereotypes...

I was thinking this. The same complaint would be if 'people call my girl a boy just because she wears blue tractor clothes. She has long hair - she's clearly a girl!'

Ds literally had a tshirt that said IM A BOY I JUST HAVE BETTER HAIR THAN YOU and someone called him a girl points to the boy part of the tshirt

What made it worse is they asked why does she have im a boy on her tshirt and they were serious actually serious we all just stared like a group of chickens until one brave person said because he is a boy.....

My bald baby wearing blue.

"What's baby's name"
"John"
"Ah how lovely. Is it a girl?"

I suspect its a bit like the fat baby/thin baby comments that wind people up - not much to say about babies, they're quite boring!

I think that we just have to accept that before puberty boys and girls bodies are not recognisable from the outside when dressed so most societies choose external indicators in the way of haircuts/ clothes/ jewellery etc to be able to categorise young children. If we( individually or as a society) don't want, or see the need to do that anymore that's a different story. As a parent you can make decisions to not stick to these parameters( completely fine obviously) but you can't change everybody else in a short space of time. If enough people keep boys' hair long and girls' short, then over time it won't be used as a way of differentiating between sexes anymore. It's not something to take offence to though, you are part of a process that takes time.

The recent “why do girls not have short hair anymore” thread was full of people saying long hair is feminine and short hair looks masculine and unattractive. I wonder if they were the same people who are miffed of their long haired son gets mistaken for a girl.

Children have unisex faces until they are about 7. So prior to that people are guessing sex / gender purely on hair and clothing.

It’s an immediate shortcut for people.
My DS (5) was virtually never recognised as a boy when he had long hair.
He decided he wanted it all chopped off recently and has never once been called a girl since.
The only time is ever bothered me was during a GP visit when the doctor repeatedly referred to DS as a girl despite me correcting him a number of times and the fact that GP had his name and sex on the paperwork in front of him. Kinda felt if you can get those basics wrong, it’s not a doctor I’d wish to see again.

It's because they look like a girl.

My brother had blond curls as a toddler, he looked like a cherub and even if my mum dressed him a lumberjack people would still think he was a girl. Then he decided to grow his hair when he was about 6 and he kept it really long until he was 17.

If you say, ‘actually, he’s a boy’ and the person is still rude, it says more about them than you or your DS.

@Orphlids

Who cares? No one is getting it wrong on purpose. They see your kid, and he appears at first glance to be a girl. They don’t have the time, need or interest to consider the matter any further. You will have done it yourself to other children in the past without knowing. It’s not an insult to assume the wrong sex. I’m always surprised that anyone cares two hoots about this.

Exactly. People aren't making judgments, they're just getting on with their lives, give your kid a glance, and subconsciously assign a gender to them. Even those of us who see sexism everywhere we look and complain about it, are subject to making those mistakes.

My DD lived.in trousers when she was small, and a lot of her stuff was blue or unisex colours. Strangers often assumed her to be a boy, but I could see why, and didn't think anything of it. I either let it pass, or if the interaction was such that I needed to clarify, I did so tactfully and light heartedly, and didn't think the less of them for it.

If you want your boy to have long hair, that's fine. But just as with me putting my DD in blue or green trousers, you need to acknowledge your part in their error and move on.

My eldest had short hair and looked very boyish and still, on occasion, was called she. It's not really a big deal.

My DS (11) gets this all the time

There have been times I'll refer to him as 'my son' and people will say, but where is your son? Even with a hint they don't get it!

We both just think it's funny, no big deal

Never happened when we lived in Germany, it's far more common for men to have long hair there

My DS13 has had long hair for years and regularly gets mistaken for a girl. He thinks it's hilarious. It mostly only happens when he has a mask on these days, as there's a fair bit of upper lip hair happening now! He looks very like me at that age (including the upper lip hair🤣) Weirdly enough, I used to get mistaken for a boy. But that was usually when I had the hood of my anorak up. I got called 'son' a lot.

I once mistook one of my DS’s classmates for a girl, albeit quite a cool girl who wore trousers and a jumper, and who liked Star Wars 🙈

He did have a very delicate elfin little face along with the waist length hair though

He looks more boyish now although still has longer hair than most of the other boys (not waist length though)

I like my son’s hair a bit longer than he has it (he looked great in lockdown) but his is very fine so gets a bit matted/knotted unless it’s short

I’d probably assume the same on a quick glance- i imagine though you love the hair long and will hate when he turns older and wants to cut it