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Original poster

Did an adult ever do something really petty/mean to you as a child (semi-lighthearted)

61 replies

DontKnowWhatToThink7 · 15/12/2021 14:23

Did an adult ever behave in a really petty or mean way to you when you were a child?

There was actually quite a few occasions but this one really sticks out in my mind.

when I was at school. Every year there was a dance that was performed to the parents around the time the school was breaking up for the summer holidays. Myself and another boy from my class were chosen to perform along with some other children chosen from other year groups. We each had an understudy in case we couldn't perform. Anyway, the parent of my understudy came up to me when the performance was due to begin and demanded that his daughter dance instead. I was basically told by him that his daughter was doing it and that was it. I was so taken back by it that I just said OK. I was 10.

Looking back I just think it was such odd behaviour, especially as a mum with a child in primary school.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Original poster
DontKnowWhatToThink7 · 15/12/2021 14:28

Bump

OP posts:
minipie · 15/12/2021 14:36

Possibly outing.

I remember doing work experience when I was 15, shadowing a father whose child was at my school.

I went to his house every morning and he then drove us both to his workplace.

On my first day I arrived, he opened the door said hello and then turned and went upstairs. I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to follow and I said “should I come up”.

His wife then she sat me down had a massive, very formal go at me about how inappropriate it was that I had offered to follow her husband upstairs.

At the time I was absolutely mortified. Looking back, she was batshit. But she made me feel really awful.

maudmadrigal · 15/12/2021 14:36

Yes. There were three families with six kids in our street who all hung out together. I was the oldest kid, and thus the (generally accepted) leader of the group. One of the dads got a new motorbike and he took all the boys, one by one, for a ride on the back of it, but wouldn't take me (the only other girl in the group didn't want to). I have never forgotten it!

I'm in my mid-forties now, and I saw him again a few years ago. I honestly found it quite hard to be pleasant - that probably says more about me than about him though, he was perfectly polite for the lunch we had together.

Interested in this thread?

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General education
Whatinthelord · 15/12/2021 14:37

My dad stiring his boiling hot tea with a spoon, then putting the metal spoon on my hand. I was about 11-13 ish.

EishetChayil · 15/12/2021 14:43

Not to me, but a complete arse of a woman who was one of the leaders of my youth orchestra. Her daughter wasn't chosen to play a concerto, so she made sure that the girl who did get chosen had a sub-par experience. There was no programme for the concert, apparently to "save money", but the reason was obviously so the concerto girl didn't have a souvenir of the occasion. I was only about 11 at the time, but remember how mean I thought it was.9

Fluffycloudland77 · 15/12/2021 14:45

Told me my dm had refused to get an abortion when I was 8/9.

Years later mum told me he’d tried to work her so hard physically that she’d miscarry and that’s why she was repeatedly admitted during her pg after walking to her appointments on her own as he’d refused to drive her despite being home.

Knowing explains a lot about my childhood.

Comedycook · 15/12/2021 14:45

None of these will be lighthearted and your experience isn't either op...It's out and out bullying

sociallydistained · 15/12/2021 14:49

My friends mum would corner me and say my mum was benefits scrounger and other mean things. My mum was a single Mum and in her view we were poor and less than. They lived in a comfortable home two girls and her partner who worked.

This has never sat well with me but I felt karma got her a bit when she got divorced and then had dodgy knees and couldn’t work she went onto benefits. She lived in a dodgy area of town and my friends dad kept the house and has custody of the girls (they were late teens)…

My friend (my oldest friend so always in my life but we aren’t close anymore or see each other really) has always been a bit like her Mum though and tbh I wouldn’t trust her around children either. I could totally see her saying these things to children when other adults aren’t in ear shot!

GreenWhiteViolet · 15/12/2021 15:10

Not lighthearted (and as the other poster said, I doubt many of the stories will be) but my mother told me that her miscarriage was my fault as I'd asked her to lift a heavy box down from a shelf a few days before.

She probably immediately forgot that she'd said it. I carried that guilt for years. Used to pray about it a lot. I was only little. Sad

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 15/12/2021 15:16

My friend and I found some money in the street, we were only about 9 or 10 so we were really excited! £10 was a HUGE amount to us (both dirt poor) we spoke to our parents who told us to split it.
We decided we definitely needed some penny sweets and were on our way to the corner shop.
We saw a friend of my friend's mum on the way and excitedly told her.
"Oh yes, that's mine, I dropped it"
She snatched it from my friend and that was that.
She knew it wasn't hers, we knew it wasn't, but she was an adult. Sad
We lied to our parents and said we had found the owner as we felt so humiliated.

EveningPrimeMinister · 15/12/2021 15:36

Age 11/12 ish, last year of primary. I was doing a Girl Guides show. The rehearsals were at a school in the next town every Sunday afternoon for a couple of months. It was the middle of winter. We didn't have a car and my mum had a terminal illness so I got the bus alone which went once an hour. I needed to leave 5 minutes before the end of rehearsals to catch the bus home or have a long wait in the dark for the next one. There was a nasty leader who made a big deal of this and used to make we wait so I often missed it. No one else got the bus and I just remember standing alone at the bus stop in the dark and cold watching other girls being driven home by parents.

I've never forgotten how shit it made me feel (I often drive past that bus stop) and always make sure dcs friends had lifts if needed.

Steelesauce · 15/12/2021 15:41

I was in brownies so around 7 I think? We were sorting magazines and I found a picture of someone putting their middle finger up so I took it to one of the younger leaders to get rid of. As I turned my back, she put her finger up at me and rolled her eyes and I saw it. I've never actually forgotten it and I think its effected my self esteem tbh. I remember feeling paranoid and like I was disliked from then on.

Sausagedogsarethebest · 15/12/2021 15:43

When I was about 12/13 I was at the hairdressers and two women were behind me (one cutting, the other chatting). One mentioned to the other that I had hairy arms! Said it out loud as though I was deaf. I remember going home and trying to shave them, and they weren't even that hairy.

As an older teen I was off to work one day and said hello to a neighbour on my way out. I always made a lot of effort with my appearance and later on the neighbour mentioned to my DM that she'd seen me and said I'd looked beautiful. My DM told the neighbour "no, she's not beautiful, she's attractive". She then felt the need to recount this discussion to me.

And I wonder why I've always had issues about my looks!

Lostmyway86 · 15/12/2021 15:44

As a young teen I remember a friends mum saying 'oh you're pretty now, you used to be such a plain child'. I remember feeling uneasy at the time but wasn't sure why. Didn't realise it was a backhanded compliment then.

I was also a nailbiter and quite self conscious of it. I remember the teacher in my class about year 4 asking me to put something on the projector and as I did so she's said 'euw look at those horrible chewed nails' in front of the class. I was mortified. I remember she had manicured probably fake nails.

Comedycook · 15/12/2021 15:46

When I was about 12/13 I was at the hairdressers and two women were behind me (one cutting, the other chatting). One mentioned to the other that I had hairy arms! Said it out loud as though I was deaf. I remember going home and trying to shave them, and they weren't even that hairy

Similar age in the hairdressers and I heard one whisper to the other that my hair was really frizzy. I hate going to the hairdressers now...and I always feel super paranoid that I must look nice or they will be nasty about me

Triffid1 · 15/12/2021 15:52

Mine has a happy ending, sort of....

I had recently started at a new school, midway through primary. A mum who was helping at some PTA related activity asked my name, and when I told her, looked at me oddly. She was really mean to me in small ways off and on for the two years I was at the school. In my first year of high school, she started having a go at me for absolutely no reason while manning the tuck shop at a sporting event. I was SOOO upset.

Then these two other women came swooping in. I didn't know them but knew who they were and thought they were all friends/part of the same crowd. These women were livid, told this other women to stop picking at me and one took me off and gave me a chocolate! Grin.

It was only after that that I even thought to mention the incidents to my mum. Which was a pity because as it turned out, my first term at my new school was also her daughter's first term in high school and in the first few weeks, her daughter had been caught cheating by my sister. As a result, our name was mud in that family. But I'd been oblivious and couldn't work out why this woman seemed to hate me so much.

I have loved those two other women ever since. Used to bump into them shopping occasionally when visiting my parents! Always greeted them enthusiastically.

Somethingsnappy · 15/12/2021 17:09

This didn't happen to me, but a friend. A despicable teacher at her school took a picture she had drawn and was quite pleased with, and held it up and ridiculed it in front of the whole class. She refused to do anything art related ever again. Fucking arsehole. Why do these people become teachers?

ellyanna · 15/12/2021 19:41

When we were a lot younger one of my friends had been a bridesmaid a few times. She had kept the dresses and was allowed to wear them for dressing up, and used to let the other girls wear them too to play princesses. For some reason, her mother didn't want me wearing one, even though I was a clean child, treated everyone's property with respect and certainly no bigger than my friends. I wore one once and her mother told me sternly to take it off and that I wasn't to put it on again. I was so shocked and embarrassed I did as I was told and didn't dare tell anyone. I still have no idea why I wasn't allowed to wear one.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/12/2021 20:12

Primary school, Christmas 1971. Small village school. All the girls in our class (about 6 of us) were Angels, except me. I wore those blue, plastic NHS glasses, so would ruin it. I was a townsperson.

Iampicklerick · 15/12/2021 20:18

I’ve got a serious one. After my dad died we were going through his things and I asked for an ornament and was snapped at by my aunt (whilst she took all the majorly expensive items) “you can’t have everything!”

Otherwise I witnessed one done to my own child. A friends husband very delicately feed his daughter grapes in the kitchen, my son toddled over and said in his best voice “can I have one please?” and the absolute sod ignored him and carried on feeding his child. My son said again, please can I? Then when his wife walked in said in a massive performance “you have to say please and you can have one”. I watched the whole thing from the door as I’d gone to the toilet - i got our coats there and then. Not seen them since.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 15/12/2021 20:21

I was about 4/5. My uncle picked me up & dangled me by the ankles over my grandparents pond saying he was going to drop me in it. I was screaming & he was laughing. He eventually put me down. Always hated him and never forgave him for that.

0blio · 15/12/2021 20:22

@ellyanna

When we were a lot younger one of my friends had been a bridesmaid a few times. She had kept the dresses and was allowed to wear them for dressing up, and used to let the other girls wear them too to play princesses. For some reason, her mother didn't want me wearing one, even though I was a clean child, treated everyone's property with respect and certainly no bigger than my friends. I wore one once and her mother told me sternly to take it off and that I wasn't to put it on again. I was so shocked and embarrassed I did as I was told and didn't dare tell anyone. I still have no idea why I wasn't allowed to wear one.
You probably were prettier than her daughter and looked much better in the dress and her mother wasn't happy about that! Flowers
Wren77 · 15/12/2021 20:27

I've mentioned this before on here! It was my first art lesson of secondary school and I was really excited as art was my favourite subject and I was good at it (unlike maths and science). Anyhoo, at the beginning of the lesson the art teacher asked everyone to say their name and unfortunately I went bright red (something that happened frequently throughout my earlier life!) The teacher drew attention to it and told the class I was a tomato and would make me some green leaves for my head. I had to wait until the end of the lesson for this to happen, he made me stand on a chair with the leaves on my head for everyone to see me being a tomato.
What a complete tosser.

onepieceoflollipop · 15/12/2021 20:32

At the beach I went to the toilets on my own (I was about 8)
It was in the days when in some places you had to put a coin in the door. It was common practice for ladies to hold the door open for the next person in the queue.
I was nervous, I had no money and no female relatives with me.
An older lady left her cubicle (this is relevant as she was about my gran’s age so I relaxed thinking she would be kind and hold the door.)
She sneered, made an obnoxious comment about how would have to pay, and deliberately pulled the door firmly shut behind her.
I felt humiliated.
I remember afterwards thinking that she must be a deeply unhappy person to treat a young girl like that. Even if (clutching at straws) she believed that it was somehow cheating not to pay, she didn’t need to be so nasty about it.
I also hold my male relative responsible - he knew that money was needed but sent me unprepared.

onepieceoflollipop · 15/12/2021 20:36

Can I balance my post with a nicer one.
As a child I was very anxious eating at people’s houses and often refused.
One lady didn’t make a fuss but gave me 6 home made chips on a small plate - as I was 6 years old, and said I could leave them if I wanted, or I could have more if I wanted.
I ate them as there was no pressure,
I am always very kind to my dds’ friends when they visit at mealtimes, I make it very clear people can eat as much or as little as they want.