Struggling with my communication skills

[Hungry625f]

I am really struggling with how I communicate with other people at the moment and I don't really know how to deal with it.

I am in a professional role, very senior, often get positive feedback in 360 reviews. However, I honestly feel like I'm doing it wrong. I find working remotely really hard. I moved teams in the same organisation earlier this year and haven't really bonded with my new team. I can discharge the duties of my role sufficiently enough, but i miss people and the chat. I don't have anyone I can talk to in that informal teamly way I did previously.

Add into that, I'm struggling with my friends too. I had a really good friend, and I introduced her to another friend. And now we have a 3 way group chat which is basically the two of them chatting and making plans. We met up recently and I just felt awkward. I think I've been wendied.

I really just want to shut down and not talk to anyone. Only speak when spoken to etc. I feel that by talking I'm appearing needy or something.

I know this is wrong but I don't know how to get over it.

Anyone?

It sounds like your feeling low due to lack of contact with people. And then that has affected your confidence.

Is there a hobby or class you can pick up to meet new people?

Can you be proactive in arranging stuff in that WhatsApp group?

Have you got other friends you can reconnect with?

This feeling will pass as long as you don't get sucked under.

Thank you both for replying, I appreciate it.

I absolutely do want to fade away, describes it perfectly. I can feel myself getting sucked under.

I have made an effort with online coffee catch ups with a few colleagues I met in the womens network at work - these have helped and I will endeavour to do more of them.

I've always felt a bit socially awkward, but I front it out and put on a smile. I'm finding its taking more and more energy and am just not sure what the point of it is.

Meeting up in real life is a really good idea, I will try this when allowed and try and make some time to build relationships with others. Its just so TIRING!!!

Oh op I could have written this! Home/lone working has really taken its toll on my mental health. I'm also a middle manager, and started a new job at the start of Pandemic 1.0. I think I must have gone into shock as it was unbearable going from having colleagues around to none with the added touch of not knowing my new colleagues and everyone being very stressed, on top of me being busy and not prioritising reaching out as it didn't feel as important as work outcomes. I just got back into a nice little swing of being in the office, but I am still finding it extremely hard to make friends at work only going in 1 day a week. I don't think people like me much and I know it's my problem to fix but god my workload is huge. I've noticed a real dip in mood these last couple of weeks and I think this is the reducing daylight, so I'm just trying to stay positive. Chip away at it and it will get better. I can really relate to feeling like I am doing it wrong - I think this me feeling that surely I am supposed to get some pleasure from work.

Sorry you're going through it too @MistySkiesAfterRain.

Essentially I think I'm a team player with no team to play with. Its really disheartening. I make an effort with my team as that's my job, but they aren't my peers, and its peer support that I'm lacking.

I'm going to make an effort, hard as it may be 😭

I miss that too. In my last role there was someone who almost took it on them to motivate others. I think its that whole 'be the change you want to see' (and don't get sucked into a negative work culture). I've booked to do some life/career coaching in the New Year as I want to help myself with some of this. One of the goals I think has to also be expanding my professional network outside of work as I suspect this will help, plus backing up my skills with training courses, as I have been on very little useful training in 8 years. Good luck!