What do you do in the evenings?

[Olympiadreamer]

I'm looking to improve my evenings. I tend to just watch TV which can't be healthy every night (no kids and single).
Looking for new ideas.

Thank you.

@Olympiadreamer I have depression also and it is so hard. I think the thought of 'doing things' can be utterly overwhelming. i would write a list of loads of things you like to do- then pick one thing to do on a night that is actually good for you. I can't do anything on Mondays for example but I like having something to look forward to on Wednesdays. (We used to go out to new restaurants or pubs to try them out). Just start with one thing, get that going in your life and expand as your energy and enthusiasm picks up.

It's harder right now, but how about a weekly zoom wine catchup with friends to start with? Or perhaps an after work drinks at the pub with a few work colleagues you like? I am thinking about the dog care issue here- but if possible a weekly cinema trip- ask a few people around if theyw ant to form a new film group and go and see everything no matter how much you think the film is not for you.

I am of the opinion- based on myself- that it can be hard when depressed to think that 'things' are for you as well as others. For me I almost feel like I do not deserve to do anything nice with my time or nice for me. I am working on it, but I feel exhausted at the thought of planning anything and then guilty if I take time away from something I think I need to focus on (like family right now).

Good luck!

Oh and FWIW at the moment I have a singing group every second Tuesday. That;'s all I can cope with for now.

Run
Walk
Swim
Cook/Bake
Housework
Catch up on work
I was a Cub Leader until very recently - that’s an evening a week at Cubs plus at least an evening a week to prep.

i would write a list of loads of things you like to do- then pick one thing to do on a night that is actually good for you

This is a good idea, and can be a really good start to climb out of a low mood. You'd be surprised what a difference it can make to have a go-to list of things you could do, so your brain doesn't have to do too much work.

I don't do a lot in the evenings. Sometimes I go to an art group (not so much since Covid but it's sometimes online now), but other than that I will read/ watch TV/ spend time cooking a nice meal/ occasionally go for a walk although it's too dark at the moment! Occasionally I'll see friends. Sometimes there are little jobs to do around the house.

I'm pretty content with that to be honest, I wouldn't want to cram all my evenings, I like to relax after work.

I like to sew and I have been making a quilt for my DDs bed that is a real time sink.

Well I've worked out that in order to do all my work hours, cooking, cleaning washing etc, that I can't stop until 8pm. At which point I'm knackered so I do a puzzle or watch tv or scroll through MN. Or shout at my kids to do homework.

I go out to the pub with friends once a week. (And therefore have to work later the next day to make up my hours sigh).

The odd bit of exercise, although I'm more of a morning exerciser.
I make jewellery by weaving seed beads.
Bit of knitting.
Super hanjie puzzles while watching TV
Sometimes out to pub / cinema
Fair bit of ferrying DD to various activities.

One night a week is a sports club that I'm a member of. In the lighter months, one night a week is a big solo after work hike (but not in winter). I try to meet a friend once a week for a coffee/drink. And then it's TV, chores, cooking.

About the dog, I just walk them in the afternoon and just leave them alone in the evening when J am out, could that work? Why would your dogs need care in the evening?

About no friends: you will meet new people if you go out more

About depression/SAD, that is obviously really tough. Could you try and start going out one evening a week? Just for sport or hobby you like? That would already be a big achievement, and a big change. Then after a few months maybe add a second activity?

It’s about creating a new “normal”, new habits

Good luck

Seriously single and childless the world is your bloody oyster. Don’t sit and do nothing - search your area. There will be plenty to get involved.

Drink 🥤

cook
mn
news
walk dog
tv - tbh i dont get home til 6 so i dont watch tv very early or for very long, ideally
bed

it is hard to get motivated during the dark winter months op

We go to our village pub 2 or 3 evenings a week, early doors, so 5:30 to 6:30ish. Nice to see a few people and chat before home to cook and eat. Then it's mainly box sets /series and early to bed. We are in bed by 9 in winter, reading our phones / chatting till 10ish.

I don't go out in the dark except at gunpoint. I usually eat between 6 and 7 and then read for a bit. I check the TV and decide on a couple of things to watch (2hrs is enough for me) and then I'll do some jigsaw. I'll spend an hr or so googling on my phone and checking sm and texting my adult children. Sometimes my GS will Skype me and chat about his day or show me something on his ps4. Then it's a bath/shower and bed with a book with lights out about 11. I never have to do chores in the evening as I'm retired. My routine might sound boring to some but it ticks me over until the lighter evenings return.

All of the above plus Podcasts.

I’m currently listening to Nigel Slater & The Christmas Chronicles. It’s glorious! I pop it on in the kitchen whilst I cook. He talks about the crisp winter and describes the joy of being out in the cold with a bright blue sky. He also includes some recipes too. It’s really getting me in the mood for Christmas.

I would also take on a project too. Have you read the decluttering book by Marie Condo? It sounds crazy but really works. It’s a productive way to occupy your time.

Would you consider volunteering OP? Again, another source of giving back whilst gaining something yourself (companionship).

I would love to have lots of time on my hands but I imagine it’s hard if you have depression & SAD.

Have you tried evening swimming? I find that really relaxing to do when the lights are low. Feels quite magical & I go on my own at about 9pm. I wear lots of warm layers so I’m not cold afterwards & I take a hot cup of coffee to drink in the car on the way home.

I hope things get better for you OP.

Running club, yoga, gym, various leisure classes like art or cooking, read books, do puzzles, go out with friends, drawing.

Why do you think life is boring op?

I volunteered with a search team for 10 years. That wasn't boring, plenty of challenge, physical activity, teamwork. Is that what you are looking for? Or take up target shooting. Or something creative - learn silversmithing. Check out your local college. There are millions of things to do. Volunteer for a charity. .....

OP learning a language is a great hobby if you’re an introvert. You can find teachers online quite cheaply so you don’t need to go out. Learning grammar will stop you over-thinking (common in depression) and with each step you feel you’ve accomplished something.

I had two distinct careers but both were extremely sociable.

I tried so many classes and also voluntary work which I did even after marrying and having children, though less obviously.

I did belly dancing for two years, salsa for a year, pottery for three years, I even took a qualification in this. Took art classes for a couple of years . I worked for three different charities on the organisational committees and helped write grants to secure funding. I also did some at the coal face work and worked as a cook once a week on a food project for almost two years before my health became too poor. I became very unwell when I was close to 50 and almost died and am now permanently disabled. I’m so glad I grabbed life with gusto when I could. Now I have to have a quiet life but I’m really excited as I have found a volunteering position online transcribing documents in olde English on to a database for a charity. I do some crafting and made a home made Christmas wreath and am helping decorate the local church next week. I also got in to gaming, I have gamed on and off for decades and now help run a clan for the MMO game I play.

When I was very unwell and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it my sister said you have done more in your life than most people will do in a lifetime, don’t forget that and be glad. You have to make life happen op, do it now though it’s harder with the current pandemic. When dc were little and I was confined to barracks more as DH and I used to joke I did stuff like knit socks, I had been taught how to knit as a child but socks are hard and as daft as it sounds I was so please I managed to master it.

How about knitting? Just small things I knitted phone cases and made a coat for my friends cat one year, the cat was unappreciative.

Single with no kids?! You should be having the time of your life.
Pre pandemic and before DP moved in:

Book club at the pub
Art classes
Dinner out
Theatre
Live music
Cinema
Watch telly/films at home
Random craft stuff
Chores/sorting
Dates

Now it's still most of the above but I go out a bit less, have started a volunteering thing and exercise a fair bit too.

Dog is a bit restrictive.

Also single. I exercise in the morning before work so never fancy it on an evening. I also don't like reading in the evening as it's very soporific and if I'm not careful I'll be asleep by 7pm with all the concomitant dawn waking that would entail.

This means I usually end up watching TV but I don't really mind. If you choose what you watch rather than mindlessly slumping in front of whatever's on then I don't think it's too bad.

@Olympiadreamer

God life is boring isn't it?!

Evenings are! I used to do fitness classes but they got cancelled due to lack of interest.

One NYR I have is to find a couple of evening activities outside of the house and go to them.