Aibu to think American snobbery is worse than British?

[Londonlassie12]

I have a large extended family who grew up state side, New York & Connecticut subarbs. Their parents were irish immigrants who worked really hard to get them a very good education & all my cousins now have excellent jobs but are obsessed with having the kids in right school (Catholic), right house, right address etc... The kids have do the right (numerous) extracurriculars to apply for ivy league unis... We are very obviously viewed as the poor relations... Aibu to think that snobbery is worse & more obvious in America..

To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, quite a famous American "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

There are class divisions in every country. They just play out differently.

Not like they do in the UK. There are always people on MN telling us they are working class, middle class etc. If I went up to someone here and asked what class they belonged to they would think I had gone mad. Of course there are snobby people - but the rest of us know they are no better than us - and that sort of thing doesn't go down very well. For the majority of people what school you attended has no bearing at all on your employment, what university you attend etc. It really is quite different.

I don’t think they have a nouveau riche in the same way as we do here. The British upper classes spend lots of time trying to differentiate themselves from the nouv crowd here and as they are flashier, subtle wealth is preferred. Subtle signs of wealth imply it’s inherited rather than recently earned which is more revered here.
It’s all a bit ridiculous but very interesting!

@Apricotblue

I don’t think they have a nouveau riche in the same way as we do here. The British upper classes spend lots of time trying to differentiate themselves from the nouv crowd here and as they are flashier, subtle wealth is preferred. Subtle signs of wealth imply it’s inherited rather than recently earned which is more revered here. It’s all a bit ridiculous but very interesting!

I think exactly the opposite. I think the nouveau riche is the US are VERY in your face with their wealth.

OP you know that WASP means White Anglo Saxon Protestant. Your cousins may seem snobby for where they live but not likely to be snobby around WASPS and old money

I actually think it’s more snobby here in UK because there is reverse snobbery. People do well here, get an education snd s good job/ they are the ones who get snobbery for doing well by those who do not.

I have a lot of
American family and I deed used to live in Massachusetts as a kid. But been here in uk for decades.
Ive found American ‘snobbery’ is -
Far far far more based on money lure and simple.
In some eastern states and other pockets - often university towns - it includes cultural snobbery but far far far less than here in uk.
My family has always been seen as the poor relations to most of my American family (and a lot to do with living conditions here in London which they are shocked by and have been for decades). A very few see us as the poor but envied relatives because of Europe on lie doorstep and education etc.

And I’d say overall (I’ve lived Midwest eastern and Colorado and here in London for decades) US snobbery is meaningless and inconsequential by comparison to uk class system and snobbery (on Uk definition).

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

So it sounds like it’s a “your family” issue tbh OP.

Yep.

There’s snobbery in most countries, but the US doesn’t have the same working class divide we do, even if it has stereotypes of ‘trailer trash’ etc.

I actually think it’s more snobby here in UK because there is reverse snobbery. People do well here, get an education snd s good job/ they are the ones who get snobbery for doing well by those who do not. Amen to that. I dont think Ive ever experienced classic snobbery but inverted snobbery quite often.

No but Americans drive is for making as much money as possible. Therefore you need to stand up and give your kids the best chances. I never heard one American saying I would not want more responsibility in a job. Here I have heard this quite often even in this site. So it is less money if you do not want to get more responsibility.

Here they class division is dreadful. Reverse snobbery and literally the hates of the Tories just because of this.

@CanIPleaseHaveOne and anyone else who is interested
Just an FYI: there are SIX time zones!
Eastern, Central. Mountain, Pacific, Alaska, Hawaii-Aleutian

@Londonlassie12
I think that's just your family. Sorry.

What's called "reverse snobbery" isn't really the same as snobbery though in that the hostility it expresses doesn't involve the preservation of power via mores, shibboleths and assumptions.

@Ozanj

British snobbery is often institutional and invisible. For example when the so called ‘prestigious’ universities that own 90% of the land their campuses are based in don’t rent out to barbers / hairdressers who can do all types of hair.

I'm interested in this??

I think my family in particular likes keeping up with the joneses, are obsessed with education, the "right" school & ivy league universities...

@ShirleyPhallus

I don’t know anyone who is as obsessed with class as Mumsnet which is primarily a British site

This! I’m constantly surprised at the mn class obsession. Do people on meeting someone make an assessment of that person’s class?

Read Uneasy Street by Rachel Sherman. Incredible study on affluent New Yorkers.

I hear you,OP! I have lots of American family and can recognise this - not in them- but in their world.

However, now that I live here in the UK, I think that British snobbery is off the charts in other ways. It's more insidious and less to do with possessions and money. It's more to do with giving off the right signals and being able to access certain things and have instincts for stuff. Think Nancy Mitford and her U and non-U. Or the Godparent network that exists. I remember going to a very smart university here and learning that a lot of the posh people already knew each other via their godparents!

Now that wealth inequalities are yawning ever wider, I think British snobbery is becoming more and more pervasive. That's what I think, anyway.