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Christmas/family/hogging tv

50 replies

BlondieD · 11/12/2021 20:42

I know many people would probably think this is petty and they are probably right.

I live at home with my mum and a brother. Me and my brother are both adults but the cist of renting is steep and there's not much available in rental accommodation in the locality. I help at home.

The house consists of 4 bedrooms and kitchen, sitting room and bathroom.

My mum is usually always in the kitchen. She has a TV there and she's happy in the kitchen.

I work hard all year and I don't usually have time to sit down in front of the TV and watch things. The sitting room doesn't really get used that often.

My brother bought his own TV for his room about 6 years ago. It was an enormous TV and he was happy in his room for years. My mum found that change difficult because he spent so much time in his room. A lot of it was coming down from hangovers with his mates and I think sometimes even drug crashes. There was a time I thought he was taking drugs.

I work hard all year and I don't usually go into the sitting room. When I am working during the week I just don't have time for the TV and I find I am busy at weekends catching up with chores and laundry. About 3 weeks ago I decided to clean the sitting room for the upcoming Christmas.

I don't usually watch TV from one end of the year til the next except for at Christmas time. I love Christmas because its a few days off from the rat race that is work. It's where I can get in some nice food and drinks and sit down to a few movies. I do this once a year at Christmas time. It's just a few days to relax.

2 weeks ago my brother decided to emerge from his room and started to use the sitting room. This is a huge surprise. It's been years since he used the sitting room. He forgot how to use the TV in the room so he pushed it aside and he brought down his TV from his room and set up camp in the sitting room. He's been hogging the sitting room for the past two weeks. He doesn't work because that was his choice. He lives on the unemployed payment. He get sup and he goes into the sitti g room and plays PlayStation. He even going as far as drinking cans over night, most nights. Rinse and repeat. He went out with his mates last night and he's currently in the sitting room crashed out on the couch.

This is completely unfair how he's hogging up the whole entire room and TV. I mentioned it to my mum that it's not fair how's he's hogging up the whole entire room and he will probably be there for the upcoming Christmas and she doesn't care about me or my feelings. She's just more than happy that her boy has decided to crawl out from his room and spend more time in one of the family rooms. She has an unhealthy attachment to my brother because he's male. She charges me half of all the bills even though there 3 people in the house and she allows him to go free because he's male and because he decided he doesn't want to work. Then she turns around and does this while using me every for going shopping for her. I feel she doesn't appreciate anything that I do because I am female. I feel if I was a male she would value me more. If I behaved the way my brother does,m - not working and hogging the room and getting drunk at home, she would chuck me out onto the street and I know it but she allows that behaviour from my brother because he's male.

She would probably be delighted with a holiday to the middle east to get some tips from the taliban from to degrade her own daughter.

OP posts:
Teacupsandtoast · 11/12/2021 20:44

Time to move out and find a house share OP

Redshoeblueshoe · 11/12/2021 20:47

Agree find a house share

00100001 · 11/12/2021 20:48

Find a room for rent in shared house or as a lodger.

Problem solved

BlondieD · 11/12/2021 20:52

I was looking at some house shares but I'm not able to make that ove right now at this point in time. Rental accommodation is truly diabolical in my area. There are only rooms to rent into city that's located 15 miles away from me. Unfortunately my work has my back up to the fucking wall for the month of February. By the time I am finished with that stint in work I will need some time to recover and it will be middle march by the time I will be able to move.

What will I do right now for the upcoming Christmas?

OP posts:
00100001 · 11/12/2021 20:55

Nothing to do. Suck it up.

Your mum isn't going to do anything.

So go away for a few days?

MamaWeasel · 11/12/2021 20:56

Set up the now discarded living room TV in your room.....?

Teacupsandtoast · 11/12/2021 20:57

Get yourself a kindle or something you can stream netflix on and chill out somewhere else in the house? He will be in the sitting room more now he knows it's winding you up.

00100001 · 11/12/2021 20:57

Watch TV in your room.

LaurieFairyCake · 11/12/2021 20:59

Just buy a tv

No one's going to mediate between a couple of adults in the living room

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 11/12/2021 21:00

Do you have a laptop or could you borrow someone's spare laptop you know, and then set up camp in your own room for Christmas viewing? You can watch pretty much anything on catch up now.

BlondieD · 11/12/2021 21:01

I don't have a TV in my room and I'm not interested in a TV for the room. I wouldnt know how to get a TV to work in the room anyway. That's option is definitely out.

OP posts:
Teacupsandtoast · 11/12/2021 21:04

@BlondieD

I don't have a TV in my room and I'm not interested in a TV for the room. I wouldnt know how to get a TV to work in the room anyway. That's option is definitely out.
Well, Kindle, laptop, ipad, galaxy tab....whatever, you dont need a tv. And if you can work mumsnet, you can hook up a tv...🙄
SSOYS · 11/12/2021 21:04

Have you told your brother that you’d like to watch TV?

If you have and he won’t let you and your mother won’t help, I suppose you could put the other TV in your room. But really it sounds like it’s time for you to move out- it sounds like quite a dysfunctional set up.

BlondieD · 11/12/2021 21:04

I do have a laptop and I will probably have to use that in my room to watch a movie or two. It's not the same. The laptop screen is tiny.

Hopefully my brother will get annoyed and go back into his room. Our mum is enjoying the attention from him lately and she goes in and out from the sitting room. She now has wet laundry drying on the radiator right over his ps5. He won't like that, so hopefully he will move back into his room.

OP posts:
LividLaVidaLoca · 11/12/2021 21:05

I think you need to find a way to live out and be an adult.

This whole situation is horribly unhealthy.

LividLaVidaLoca · 11/12/2021 21:06

^move

BlondieD · 11/12/2021 21:06

@SSOYS

Have you told your brother that you’d like to watch TV?

If you have and he won’t let you and your mother won’t help, I suppose you could put the other TV in your room. But really it sounds like it’s time for you to move out- it sounds like quite a dysfunctional set up.

Not yet. I'm going to get the TV guide and see what's on the TV over the Christmas. If there's anything that I like, I will make a note of it and let him know. He might free the place up.
OP posts:
BlondieD · 11/12/2021 21:07

I was renting before but my wage took a hit.

OP posts:
Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 11/12/2021 21:08

Take his TV. Google how to set it up. Get a tiny fridge for your room. Fill it with goodies and let your dm put up with db and his shite...

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/12/2021 21:09

What solutions are you looking for?

You’ve had a rant about your mum and brother which is completely fair enough but she doesn’t have to let you live there and if you won’t move out you’ll just have to suck it up.

Your comment about the taliban is in extremely poor taste. If you lived under their revolting regime you wouldn’t be allowed your job. Don’t be crass.

BlondieD · 11/12/2021 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

BoundariesAlready · 11/12/2021 21:15

I watch TV on my phone most of the time tbh, a tablet or laptop is plenty big enough (or as others have suggested set up the other TV in your room, you are more than capable).

It does all sound unhealthy dynamics in your household and I would move as soon as I could - the Christmas break would be an ideal time for you, if not, well, plenty of us have managed to move while busy with work too.

RodneyIsDave · 11/12/2021 21:16

Your mum spends her time on the kitchen but hated the face her adult son bought a tv for his bedroom and spends all his time in there..slight overreaction, maybe he hates watching tv with anyone. How can he pay as much as you do to your mum if he isn’t working? You know there are rental properties if you’re unhappy with the situation.

BlondieD · 11/12/2021 21:19

He walked out from a well paying job nearly three years ago and he has chosen to remain unemployed since then because life on benefits is better. He can get up in his own time and play PlayStation and drink cans.

OP posts:
AngelonTopoftheTree · 11/12/2021 21:19

Put a tv in your own room