Are your children allowed to whisper?

[MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry]

I was in a shop today and I heard a woman repeatedly say to two small girls (around 5/6) she was with “girls, are you allowed to whisper?” From what I could see of them they weren’t actually whispering- they were huddled close to each other, pointing at different toys and chittering and giggling. It seemed like such a strange rule to have. Surely there are times when whispering is appropriate? Like if you’re in the cinema and need to ask your friend to move so you can go to the toilet, or if your sibling is sleeping and you’re saying good night to your mum or whatever. Do you allow your children to whisper?

When I was a childminder I didn't like ut. I use to say to the children, if you can't say it out loud then you probably shouldn't be saying it.

They can whisper to each other, not to me. I hate that feeling of hot little kid breath right in my ear

Me too! Can’t stand it. Gives me the rage. Mine know not to do it, but one of my DC’s friends tried to whisper something to me the other day 😬

I wish mine would learn to whisper. Most days involve ear-splitting shouting that requires ear protectors at some point if you want to stay sane.

I find whispering very rude & I would pull my dc up on it.
There are a few exceptions- like being in the cinema if you need to pass ppl to use the loo. Most of the time though it's plain bad manners to whisper.

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

I am now desperate to know why your DS is not allowed to look at the dog @MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry.

He gets her all hyped up. He can’t help himself and she gets all barky and wants to tug all his clothes but she gets so into it and doesn’t realise it hurts. I always have to intervene. I told him not to get her hyped up but apparently this was too vague an instruction for him. So I said “don’t go near her” so he would just talk to her in an excited way- same outcome. So now the rule is “just don’t even look at her” he even struggles with this

This really made me laugh! I had spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out why a person would be banned from looking at the DDOG

I can beat all of the above PPs. My child whispers to herself.........😳

I'd never considered kids whispering could be perceived as a problem.
Probably because mine are constantly at full volume all day long.

Honestly, though, I really don't get why it should be a big deal. When I clicked this thread, I was half wondering if it would be about some kind of horrible domestic abuse situation where kids were not even allowed to whisper in their own home!

DD is incapable of whispering - has a very penetrating voice.

If my two are whispering to each other then they are up to something.

@thelegohooverer

Mine used to whisper very loudly together when they were scheming together to convince me to take them to McDonald’s or get extra iPad time. It’s only quite recently that they can actually whisper properly. I miss overhearing their dastardly plots (which usually involved being extra good or doing a chore without complaining) I suspect I’m better off not hearing what they whisper about these days.

Yep this is what mine do. I once overheard DS1 whispering to DS2 "pretend you can't hear her then we can stay up longer" as I'd just called up that it was time to stop talking and sleep!

I also caught the end of a dastardly scheme to get a day off school by resetting all the Alexas in the house (we rely heavily on Alexa in the morning as we're all ADHD).

I don’t think my dc ever whisper to each other or us or anyone.

Whispering is not acceptable except in handful of a specific situations where they should be quiet but have a particular need to speak (e.g a child at the cinema asking to go to the loos).

If they don't people to hear something, they shouldn't say it in front of that person. A private conversation in a different room can be fine but to make a display of "We're talking but you can't know what we're saying" is intentionial rudeness.

I also caught the end of a dastardly scheme to get a day off school by resetting all the Alexas in the house

😂😂😂

Hot little kid breath 🤣🤣🤣🤣

But same.

Two people, adults or children, whispering when they’re in a group of three is rude so I’d pull mine up on it.

We had a rule for a while that my two girls weren’t allowed to hold hands. To anyone who just overheard it I imagine it sounded horrendous, but DD had just started having narcolepsy symptoms and the few times she’d had cataplexy it was dangerous because her sister didn’t have the nous to let go and would tumble over as well.

@GrannytoaUnicorn

Like Brick in The middle? Or just when she’s annoyed 😂

Allowed to - Yes.

Capable of - apparently not. Everything is LOUD from my son.

I wish my kids would whisper. One is currently gaming and seems incapable of anything other than shouting. The other is chatting to friends on her phone, also loudly. I have music on to drown them out. 🤣

I wish my daughter would whisper. I don’t think she’s capable. She’s so LOUD. ALL the time! And she’s always talking, I don’t know how she has the energy.

I love it when the kids whisper to each other, it means the house is quiet for a change

People get worked up about the weirdest things.

There's something coldly joyless about stopping children from whispering to each other.

Sad

@MeredithGreyishblue

There's something coldly joyless about stopping children from whispering to each other.

Sad

Your post has reminded me of a time years ago when a little boy was singing a nursery rhyme in a shop. Not shouting it or screeching, singing to himself in a little boys voice. I was admiring his sweetness. And his mum swore at him telling him to shut his fucking mouth or she’d shut it for him. It made me so sad for him.

There's something coldly joyless about stopping children from whispering to each other

But there's context to consider, surely?
I vividly recall my DD1s 7th birthday. She had two friends round to play, and for a birthday tea. The two friends whispered together almost constantly, to the point I had to step in on a number of occasions and ask them not to. DD was upset, and kept wondering what they were whispering about, as she was being excluded from whatever was being said. It was a horrible day, and she still remembers it now even although she's 25.

There's definitely times where whispering is good, but that's generally because it's polite to keep your voice down - libraries, cinemas, theatres, church etc.
Whispering to exclude another person is definitely not ok.