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Original poster

What is your purpose in life that no one and nothing can take away from you?

81 replies

JanisMoplin · 11/12/2021 14:56

The last two years have just been a series of losses for me, as for many of us. I am now in the process of trying to find something that no one can take away from me, come Covid, hell or highwater. Something that I can do on my own without relying on anyone in this era of social distancing. DC are grown and don't need me. DH is a very quiet man with a v stressful job. So I strike out on my own.

This purpose used to be reading. At one point in my life I used to read two or three books a week and belonged to 3 book clubs. Somewhere in the pandemic, I have forgotten to read.

Then I took up walking and got really into it. But lately, the weather has been shit and I need something else for when it's pissing down outside
I volunteer at a heritage site, but if we are in lockdown again, that may go away.:(

I would like everyone else love to travel, but....

See a theme? What is your purpose ?

OP posts:
Ted27 · 12/12/2021 12:20

For me your question is a bit confusing, you asked what your purpose in life was but most of the thread has been about hobbies or interests.

I have many hobbies and interests which make my life fun and enjoyable but none are my purpose in life.

It sounds cheesy but I believe my purpose in life was/ is my son. I adopted him age 8. He is 17 now and doing very well. But its been a challenging 10 years. He will always need more support than the average adult child. Some time in the next year I will be leaving my job to become a foster carer. That's my purpose.

As for interests - what really kept me sane during lockdown and through restrictions is my allotment. It meant I could stay outside as long as I liked, we celebrated birthdays and anniversaries down there and just spent time together. There was usually someome to talk to - its naturally socially distanced talking over hedges. Its very satisfying putting food you have grown on the table. I have a cupboard full of home made jam and will be trying my hand at damson wine this year. There is always something new to learn. I love my robins who follow me round hoping I'll turn up some worms.
I'm much more aware of the seasons and eat more seasonally now. I spent a ridiculous amount of money on a posh new shed so even if the weather is poor I can still go down with a flask of tea and get away from everything. As head towards retirement it will become more important to me,

Ted27 · 12/12/2021 12:24

Forgot to say, well done for striking out on your own, I see so many threads here about women worried other people will think they are 'weird' for going for a walk or to a coffee shop on their own.
Hope you can find something that captures your imagination

Happy1982ish · 12/12/2021 12:27

My children

That’s it

Anything and everything else, despite being happy, healthy and enjoy my job, I could lose and yet still love a very happy life as long as eith my children

Mooscow · 12/12/2021 12:28

Just wanted to say I've found this thread really inspiring, thank you.

BlueSoul · 12/12/2021 12:30

I wouldn't say it is my purpose in life...but I love listening to podcasts. And I love doing diamond painting whilst listening to them.

GoodTid · 12/12/2021 12:40

My purpose in life is my work (sadly?). I love it and I love the difference I make for others.

I used to love walking, running, yoga and zummba but I'm now disabled so books have taken over exercise.

Original poster
JanisMoplin · 12/12/2021 12:48

@Ted27

For me your question is a bit confusing, you asked what your purpose in life was but most of the thread has been about hobbies or interests.

I have many hobbies and interests which make my life fun and enjoyable but none are my purpose in life.

It sounds cheesy but I believe my purpose in life was/ is my son. I adopted him age 8. He is 17 now and doing very well. But its been a challenging 10 years. He will always need more support than the average adult child. Some time in the next year I will be leaving my job to become a foster carer. That's my purpose.

As for interests - what really kept me sane during lockdown and through restrictions is my allotment. It meant I could stay outside as long as I liked, we celebrated birthdays and anniversaries down there and just spent time together. There was usually someome to talk to - its naturally socially distanced talking over hedges. Its very satisfying putting food you have grown on the table. I have a cupboard full of home made jam and will be trying my hand at damson wine this year. There is always something new to learn. I love my robins who follow me round hoping I'll turn up some worms.
I'm much more aware of the seasons and eat more seasonally now. I spent a ridiculous amount of money on a posh new shed so even if the weather is poor I can still go down with a flask of tea and get away from everything. As head towards retirement it will become more important to me,

That is a very perceptive comment! My DC used to be a large part of my purpose. I won't go into it but Covid has been really horrible for them both. Goals, plans and opportunities have crumbled in the dust. I have given as much support as I can but they now need to find their own way, since this pandemic is not going awaywhere. I think after so many years giving to my family, I need to look at something else. I don't think I can expect them to make me happy and content.

My job has been satisfying in the past, but I am now full time WFH and it has lost some of its shine. Not a great time to look for another.

That's why I have focused on interests, I guess. Also because interests are less fragile? Families can combust, work can disappear.... but at one point in my life books provided me all the solace I needed.

OP posts:
ssd · 12/12/2021 13:26

I've started swimming once a week

I'd be gutted if it closed again

Ted27 · 12/12/2021 13:31

I completely understand the WFH thing. I hate it. I miss people so much. I don't know whether its because I'm older but I find it increasingly difficult to pick up new things, particularly new IT systems.

Fostering of some sort was always in my plans, I'm just bringing it forward a few years.
I think when I'm done with fostering, my allotment will be very important - it will give structure to my life, it needs commitment. As a long term single person, I understand what you are saying about not relying on others to give your life purpose.
I think I just want to be useful for as long as I can, I'm sure the allotment committee will have me! As well as the library which is staffed by volunteers.

CharlotteRose90 · 12/12/2021 13:33

Mine is raising awareness for the crappy disease I have. It’s a rare one and I’m one of 5 to have it in the uk. I spread awareness and hope that anyone diagnosed with it won’t feel as alone as I did 3 years ago when diagnosed

Gwenhwyfar · 12/12/2021 13:39

My life has no purpose and no meaning. I have no hobbies :(

ssd · 12/12/2021 13:45

But can totally relate to you @JanisMoplin

hivemindneeded · 12/12/2021 13:50

@thecatsthecats

Writing. Even if I'm never published, even if I never have a single reader, I am dedicated to the worlds I have created. I love my characters, and no one can ever take them from me.
I LOVE this answer. Too many writers get miserable focusing on trying to get an agent, a book deal, top seller. Why not write for sheer pleasure and make up stories to entertain yourself? That sounds like fun.
Original poster
JanisMoplin · 12/12/2021 13:51

I forgot to add that I am 50 and menopausal. Hence, the nurturing instinct has worn off a bit. Obviously the DC being young adults don't wish to spend that much time with me. So it seems a good idea not to seek validation from others.

Another goal I had was to make more friends as am now WFH and hardly see colleagues. But Covid has really made people less sociable, or maybe it's just me?

@ssd I used to be such a keen swimmer and then stopped during Covid. Want to renew this in January maybe when I can see how Omicron pans out.

@Gwenhwyfar :( Could you get some?

OP posts:
WingingItSince1973 · 12/12/2021 14:07

A few years ago I was hit with life long illness that can leave me incapacitated one day but realitively active the next. So for me it's been my faith, family and friends and my creativity. Even the days where I have no energy or motivation I can lean on any of those things and it's my constant in life. 🥰

Gwenhwyfar · 12/12/2021 17:42

"@Gwenhwyfar sad Could you get some?"

I don't think so, no. I don't have the type of personality that gets really into anything.

hivemindneeded · 12/12/2021 18:00

OP things thatr have brought me huge joy are:

bootcamp. I LOVE it. I don't quite live for it, but not far off
walking, especially hiking up mountains but anywhere in nature, really
kayaking, especially around little tributaries of rivers where ducks and herons and coots lay their nests
yoga
the arts - going to exhibitions and theatre shows and gigs and opera etc

these are the things, outside of family, that make me glad to be alive

EddieVeddersfoxymop · 12/12/2021 18:36

My guitars. I can shut off the world while I learn a new song.

museumum · 12/12/2021 18:45

I don’t have one passion or purpose at all. I love my family and home, I really enjoy my work (self employed), I like to run in the hills and I read and knit when I need to chill indoors. My life and contentment with it involves balancing all of the above. Just enough but not too much of each element.
I can’t imagine one thing totally fulfilling me.

User310 · 12/12/2021 18:48

Collecting knowledge.

Spitspotsput · 12/12/2021 18:49

I have my books and my embroidery. When I don’t want them, they sit, waiting. I had a book and it took me several months even to open, but once I got started I was hooked.

Besides those, my DD. I’d like to say no one can take her but my evil bastard ex h would love to, so I have to keep striving for her.

HeadNorth · 12/12/2021 18:52

My horses, I was a pony mad kid and went back to them when I suffered a terrible bereavement. I honestly think my old mare kept me alive so I could continue to function for my family. Since then they have seen me through many of the losses and travails of life as well as bringing joy, adrenaline, adventure, friendship and a sense of achievement.

Honestly, a cocaine habit would probably be cheaper but not nearly as good for my mental and physical well-being.

GuyFawkesDay · 12/12/2021 18:53

For me it's getting out and enjoying the nature around me. It always lifts me, even on a wild, wet winter day. I am lucky I love rurally and walking the dog and watching the seasons change, noticing the wildflowers, listening to the skylarks and spotting the birds and other animals such as the roe deer.

The dog has also been a huge boost to my MH. He is such a positive in my life. It's hard to be a grumpy waker when someone is SO HAPPY to see you each morning.

KnottyKnitting · 12/12/2021 19:48

My job- just love it!

Somethingsnappy · 12/12/2021 19:56

My children. But also, like a previous poster, writing. I write purely for pleasure and because I'm good at it. One day, perhaps I'll even attempt publication!

Also, magic. I like to find magic in things.