Help and advice please

[Rebeccaaandbaby]

I’m 11 weeks pregnant today and I’ve been off contraception for 9 years having struggled with PCOS and anorexia. I had a fling with an ex who got arrested for domestic violence towards me in 2019 and I stupidly went back to him for a night and now I’m pregnant, can I keep this baby and make sure him and his family have nothing to do with me and said baby? I had injunctions placed on him, his mother and sister but they only last for so long , would they be able to take me to court , he already has a 10 year old and I don’t want to talk badly about people’s parenting skills but he’s not a great father in all honesty, his mother bullied me and they’re not a nice family . I’d rather do this alone but can I get in trouble (I’ve been told he could take me to court) and I don’t want my baby growing up not knowing who the second half of his/her family are because that could be damaging and unfair , even though technically they would be better off. Please I just need some advice :(

You start by saying you want his family to have nothing to do with your baby, then say you don’t want your baby growing up not knowing them.

Yes because I think it’s unfair to bring a child up with only 1 side of its family , growing up without a dad and another set of grandparents, even though the baby would be better off without them! I’m looking for help and support, not judgment in my statement , I thought I made it clear and it should be easy to understand that it’s a confusing situation to be in, I want what’s best for my baby and that means not having the dad or his family involved but don’t you think that could create psychological issues for my child as they grow up, it will take years until my baby can understand the actual situation.

You might ask yourself which would cause the most damage to both you and the baby.: contact with these people, or non contact. You have injunctions against them and are obviously terrified of them. I'd say, contact with them would be the worst option for both of you.

Speaking from experience- I never knew my biological father. He went to prison when I was a baby for the things he did to my mother. His family never bothered but I imagine my family probably made it quite clear they weren't to get involved and they probably blamed my mother for putting their son in jail.

I had a fantastic childhood. My mother never hid it from me who they were they've never looked for me and I will never look for them.
I've no desire to be part of their family I've no need to be.

@SammyScrounge @user94021
Thankyou both for your advice . Sammy, I appreciate you explaining your own experience and how you’ve grown up and I know I will be able to provide everything my baby needs and so can my family who are so so loving @SammyScrounge I am absolutely terrified of his family and know they could cause more damage being in mine and my baby’s life compared to my baby growing up without them. Thankyou both for your kind words , you have both helped x

My dd’s father was abusive he took me to court and was granted visitation. My dd and I had years of misery with him letting her down and bad mouthing me. He has caused her so much psychological damage so be very careful with your decision.

Does he know you’re pregnant and does he know it’s his?

I’d leave him out of it. Plenty of kids are raised in ‘unconventional’ circumstances and are fine. Personally I think it’d do your DC MORE harm to be involved with people awful enough to have injunctions against them.