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discord fallout

8 replies

NameChange8283 · 11/12/2021 08:58

Yes I am English and from the UK, if I use American terminology or something I say is muddled, it's only because I'm tired and can't be bothered to write it properly.

I write this as a parent to an autistic 16 year old. We are in scotland so I can only advise him.

He joined discord, a platform for gamers to chat, 2 years ago, and was able to join non-gaming related servers. A few months ago he joined a server for a city in England he's considering visiting, ran by adults, who considered a minor to be anyone under 18 no matter where they were, hence they considered my son to be a minor. They server accepted both minors as young as 13 and anyone above 18+, but a term was that members must be mature. My son was not, but then he almost never is. The adults in the server were no better. One of the things my son pointed out was that they could post random GIFS and change the subject of conversation, but he couldn't. They replied that they've been in the server longer so it's not weird and is acceptable. The adults in the server didn't like him and started bullying him, one example of this is making him feel uncomfortable. I advised him to leave, but he didn't because he wanted to be part of the community. It got worse. A certain adult, accused him of all sorts such as abuse and that they feel they're walking on eggshells (even I was moritifed to hear this as it was far from true). It surprised us how much shite a particular member kept spurting about him consecutively, he couldn't get a word in edgeways and was banned shortly afterwards. Someone from the server then got in touch to say that when they were a minor they were bullied but allowed to stay as they never retaliated, which stopped when they became adult, and that the reason no one could support my son was because the person who was bullying him was a 'nitro subscriber' which meant they had payed real money to support the server, and as they took a dislike to my son, and the server didn't want to lose their 'valued customer', they had to ban my son to the tastes of said person.

He's joined the server just the other day again but under a new persona, claiming to be an adult but acting the same. Surprise surprise, no one has been bullying him. According to the chat logs they've been talking about him up until a month ago as if he really was some sort of monster which is defamation of character. They still have photos of him in the server that he posted. Keep in mind that my son was only ever posting the same sorts of content as them and nothing racist, sexist, etc. And this all lasted up until someone worked out that it might be him and now they're 'investigating'.

Now you may think that this only on the internet, it doesn't matter, but my son can be identified and I'm considering taking some sort of action on this. Can anyone comment if police for example would take this seriously, if anyone has gone through similar before and what they've done?

OP posts:
nosyupnorth · 11/12/2021 10:10

The only thing you can do it tell him this is a lesson about not posting identifiable photos of himself to places on the internet he doesn't have full control of.

Forget the fact it's discord a moment:
He joined a social group, the group didn't like his behavior (spamming and being immature and disruptive -- I know you say others were doing it but if they were established members and your son was new then I suspect he was possibly missing the tone/that there were situations in which it was okay and situations it wasn't, especially if he's autistic), and they decided he wasn't welcome anymore. The pictures they have are just what he gave them.

What on earth are you going to the police about? "My son fell out with some acquiantences and they won't delete things he posted online?" Do you think everytime somebody falls out with a friend the police are going to that friends house and searching the photo albums to destroy images?

GnomeyGnome · 11/12/2021 10:19

Why has he joined the server again?? He needs to leave it alone. Discord can be a great way to chat to people about shared interests but, like rest of the internet, it can also be a cesspit. This is a great lesson on where you should and shouldn't share identifying information. I don't think the police would do anything.

Negligee · 11/12/2021 10:24

Yes to both the previous posts. I don’t think Discord is for him.

Monday55 · 11/12/2021 10:33

He joined a server for mature people and you've agreed he's not mature. He broke the terms of that server.

I don't think the police would do anything unless if they were naked photos of a minor.

Darkpheonix · 11/12/2021 10:40

I think its very difficult for you say exactly what happened because you have only what he has showed you.

I am not sure what 'authorities' can do. What exactly were they saying he did, that you believe isn't true?

Darkpheonix · 11/12/2021 10:41

I also think him rejoining, pretending to be over 18 and someone else, isn't really going to help him.

WoodenReindeer · 11/12/2021 11:00

I think when autistic it is sometimes hard to "let go" especially whenbyou desperately want to belong. It would actually be so useful for him to learn its okay to let go and when it is good for youself to actually do that.

Triyo · 11/12/2021 11:06

You need to talk to him about not to send photos in a discord as he has no control, once he sends them and they stay in (along with all other messages) even if he leaves or is banned.
And I think just let everything else drop and move on, rehashing it isn't going to help.

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