Has anyone ever got themselves out of a rut

[fruitandbarley]

Hi,
I have no idea where to start, I'm wearing clothes I've had for years, I work either from home or on building sites or industrial estates so mainly in comfy stuff or work clothes and boots, with a wardrobe of a few dresses I wear of odd office visit or going out. If I do buy clothes I usually get them from charity shops as prefer this for the environment and I like a bargin.

My make up is the same I've been wearing for the last 10 years, and I dye my own hair, which currently needs cutting. I can't afford to have it dyed regularly at a salon.

I've got two kids and a dog and work full time husband does mostly his share ( he works two days and is dad at home rest of the week) but I don't feel like I have much spare time to think about how to even fix this.

I need to lose two stone, ( I lost over a standstill recently but its creeping back on) and used to run but the last years been so full on that that's dropped by the wayside.

I believe I'm a good mum and wife and am doing very well at work but I feel like I'm a scruffy worn out mess at the moment.

Can someone please tell me where to start so I start feeling better about myself and look less like I've just run through a 15 year old wardrobe and chucked the same stuff on on repeat please.

Maybe the rut needs to start with accepting you aren’t x years old any more, and looking at the positives! You should speak to yourself as you would your best friend, point out the better things rather than ‘this is crap, this is crap, hair’s rubbish, etc’

So once you’ve accepted the starting fabulousness then you can see what you can polish! Usually drinking more water is a great start- it’s free, helps your skin, hair, mood, and weight loss, and everyone looks/feels healthy drinking water so your mind will be on track. Next i would do a little bit of personal pampering- taking time to file and/or paint your nails, making time for a face mask or a relaxing Bath and some body cream if that’s your thing.

Next is personal appearance, choose better versions of clothes you feel comfiest in (upgrade your scabby jeans for nicer ones, they don’t need to be pleather culottes) or buy some nicer well-fitting t-shirts rather than tops you will keep for nights out etc. I’d get a good cut at a salon, should be about £30 but choose a slightly different dye, probably a warmer shade than you currently wear as it’s winter, maybe something with a hint of red- not drastically different but a shade or two so you notice and it’ll help you feel shinier!

Finally try and carve out a bit of time for just you, you mention you are a great wife; a great mother, but it’s important to remember you are a great individual! So make sure you have time to do yoga or drink a hot coffee with a magazine etc, something to ground yourself

Thank you very much. I definitely need to try and make more time for me, I sometimes end to waiting an hour to even go to the loo I'm so busy.
I'm generally a positive person but feel I've lost myself a bit. Thanks for the advice, it's much appreciated.

What's your budget?

Just before Christmas not a lot! Come Jan I could use probably 150 on clothes as a one off, hair as its an ongoing thing I'd like to keep to a minimum.

I think we all get into a rut at times and the only way to get out of it is to change one thing at a time.
Its easy to let everything get on top of you. It makes it seem impossible to do anything, but.. just one goal at a time.

I think you have to value yourself more and make time for you. It's also easy for me to talk because I get like this and then I will suddenly make an effort to look after myself better.

Perhaps start with some decent make up and change your hair style. Dying it at home is fine as long as you are choosing the right colour that suits you. If you are a little older, then choose a colour which is lighter than your natural colour as dying your hair darker can be draining against your skin.

Instead of going for a walk with the dog, start walking briskly and then run a little. It will improve your mood.
Make time for you. You do it for everyone else !

Wait for the sales. Everything is reduced.

Thank you