Partner doesn't like being told what to do

[b101]

My partner doesn't like being told what to do. For example "please could you empty the dishwasher seeing as I am putting the kids to bed and you are just standing in the kitchen staring into space"

I have experimented over the years and I can confirm that if I don't ask, it won't be done until I do it. And when I do ask, it gets done slowly with a huff and a puff.

Is there a way around this? Or just LTlazyB ?

At least it's getting done, even if it is with sound effects.

My exH used to say 'I'll do it later' and then didn't.

Sound like micromanaging a child.
Can see you why you get frustrated

Ask him. Ask him why he huffs if you ask him but does fuck all if you stay quiet. Ask him what the answer to this issue is. If he's a decent bloke then he will admit he's being lazy and work with you to find a mutually agreeable way forward. If he's a selfish dickhead he'll carry on huffing and puffing because he thinks that you should do it all.

Have you asked him?

Why do you huff and puff if I ask you to do things?
If you just did stuff off your own back I wouldn't have to ask!

Or divide the jobs between you

I would resent my partner "telling me" what to do as well.
Of course, I pull my weight, which seems to be the issue - the fact he isn't pulling his weight.
So sit down and have a discussion - how does he want to share out all the work that is involved in running the house and looking after the dc? Does that suit you ? Should you have your own "jobs" that you do when you feel they need to be done, or would you prefer to take turns ?