Immobile dementia sufferer- presents

[20thCenturyGhosts]

Hi, my dad has advanced dementia and totally immobile. He is currently stuck in a room with no access to tv, he doesn't seem to want to read, and isn't interested in music etc. I was wondering if anyone knew of any hand held games that might be fairly simple to use but would keep him entertained?
Opening this up to chat rather than dementia specific! Thanks

Would he like a fiddle blanket? Or one of those realistic toy cats to sit on his knee and stroke?

The proper Robotic ones aren't cheap% Joy For All C2308 A23085L00 Companion Pet, Black & White Tuxedo Cat, One Size www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B078FFX7Q8/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_QP9VCGDQZZJEVVD9PRSX?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

But there's also a new/used (usually an opened box) one listed at £95.

If that's too much money, perhaps a nice cuddly animal of some variety? Is there a pet or an animal he's always liked?

My mum loved her 'breathing' cat toy, right till the end of her journey with dementia.
She also really liked a couple of 'press the picture for music' toddler books - she had one Nutcracker one - which seemed to be obvious enough to get her to interact and required no memory or understanding at all.
Bizarrely she enjoyed for quite a long time, and certainly well past her ability to read, or actually do them, simple Sudoku books. Somehow the process of looking at them gave her something to do.

Thanks all, he has a real cat he dotes on so might get confused if another one pops up! It's so hard as everything that used to bring him joy he just has no interest in any more. It's the total lack of curiosity or interest that makes me most sad for him. Wish I could find that magic item that sparks something in him

Great that he has a real cat! How lovely.

How advanced is his dementia? Is there any passion he's had before?

Sensory things are often the best options:
Fiddle blanket
A faux fur throw for his knees to stroke
Textured books
Music books / music box

When my dad was at that stage he liked pictures on the wall of family with, holidays, favourite places etc with little descriptions on them so carers and visitors could use them as prompts for talking to him.

Or simple picture books or jigsaws. Again more to help people interact rather than thinks he would use independently.

Maybe some kind of sound system pre-loaded with music from his era.

His previous loves- music, books, food, running, tennis. Some he can't do any more and others he just doesn't get into. We have Alexa set up for him, and fav books, comics etc all in reach for him but he just disengages from everything, and I worry for him.

He has been stuck in hospital at several points this year and has declined massively each time he comes home. This last year he has really faded away.

Made him some photo books for his birthday which he enjoyed at the time but doesn't look at now. Might try some little puzzles, something he can try and get involved in?

He gets quite angry now at different things, and shouts if there is much talking going on around him, then just falls asleep for hours

I really do appreciate all suggestions by the way. Sorry if I sound like I'm dismissing them all. I'm just venting my worries a bit!

Have you seen these jelly drops? They look like sweets but are actually high in water and help people stay hydrated. shop.alzheimers.org.uk/help-around-the-home/Jelly-Drops-Hydration-Sweets
The site also has some games and puzzles and other things for around the house, not sure if anything would be suitable and they look quite expensive but might give you some ideas of things some people find helpful.

It sounds like he is beyond initiating activities for himself so it is things people can use when they are with him. Would a bird feeder outside his window be an idea? My dad was like this. Anything that we could catch his attention and engage him for a few minutes resulted in him needing a long nap afterwards!

And you are welcome to come and vent over on elderly parents. There is a lot of us doing it.

Photo's on a tablet or digital photo frame was really lovely for my Partner's gran. She was in bed most of the time and not speaking, really silent but the pictures seemed to spark a little something and we got a few words.

Lava lamp?

Something like this went down a treat with some of our dementia patients

One thing I had success with was a small wind up toy. Installing a bird feeder visible from bed does at least give visitors something to talk about. A pot plant.

I know you said not interested in music, but my grandad was very happy with a selection of 1940s and 50s music that I got him as it brought back memories of his youth for him.

We are in a very similar postion.Thank you for the thread and ideas.

@ CMOTDibbler the musicc books look fantastic for my Mum - thank you

Things I've found go down well with advanced dementia sufferers are;

• bird feeder that sticks on the window
• fiddle blankets or muffs
• digital photo Frames
• soft toys

There is a site called Unforgettable, they have lots of useful items

One thing to always remember is that it really isn't personal what someone with dementia likes or dislikes. My mum hated photos, didn't want music (having been very musical before), and threw a doll at me. The first toddler book she took from my ds and I would never have 'insulted' her by giving her one but she loved the predictability, just as in her real life she hated Dads Army, but watched the DVDs on a loop. And slept a huge amount.

Apologies if this is a shit suggestion, but would an iPad with a big screen be any good?

There are apps which are sensory and you can move your finger and pop bubbles, or create lines of colour or even make soothing sounds.

The is an app I used with my disabled son when he was younger - there were pictures which popped up and we recorded what they were, for example, names of people and objects.

Can't you sort a tv for him? Where is he living ?

My FIL is very similar and is really past the gift giving stage now. Last year I got him a big books about the era he had his prime in - Robert Opie scrapbook. You can get 70s, 60s. It's quite large and lovely to look at, not too heavy, but FIL needed someone to sit with him for it even last year.

Otherwise a pop it fiddle toy? Can get for £2-£5 in your shops or online.

My fil has dementia and they have a digital photo frame on constantly, it's loaded with hundreds of photos on a loop.

Can he have a TV in his room? We make sure there is music and TV in all our dementia residents rooms, as there is always a day at some point where they are tired and go to bed early, or need a rest.
We have one person with an Alexa Echo show, the camera is off for his privacy, but his wife puts playlists on it and photos.
I always ask it to play music on my way past it makes the whole hallway seem cosy.