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Original poster

Nervous about wedding - abroad, with a newborn and solo

37 replies

MrsCremuel · 09/12/2021 08:41

Due to go to a wedding Saturday in France. Because of travel restrictions my husband is staying behind with DS1 I’m case we get stuck out there and can’t get back to him. He was going to stay with grandparents and we were going with the newborn originally. Toddler doesn’t have a passport so we can’t all go instead.

Was going with friend instead who now can’t attend so my only option now is to drive myself. It’s 2.5 hours from Calais. I’d be there 2 nights with my newborn. Won’t know anyone but the bride. Don’t speak the language and have never driven in Europe.

Feeling very anxious but so so don’t want to let my friend down.

OP posts:
MalbecandToast · 09/12/2021 08:42

Why does the baby have a passport but not your toddler?! Confused

DownWhichOfLate · 09/12/2021 08:47

How old is newborn? I don’t think I’d be going!

VirusgonnaVirus · 09/12/2021 08:47

How did you get a passport for the newborn? I've been waiting 12 weeks for my dd

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Weddings
Blueroses99 · 09/12/2021 08:47

With rules changing day by day, I’d hope the bride would understand if you didn’t go for all those reasons you mention. Driving your own right hand drive car in Europe is much trickier than driving a left hand drive car, in my opinion.

Original poster
MrsCremuel · 09/12/2021 08:49

@MalbecandToast I’m breastfeeding and he is very little so he was coming with us. Toddler was having a weekend with his grandparents.

@VirusgonnaVirus the one week service where you have to go to the passport office.

@DownWhichOfLate 9 weeks

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 09/12/2021 08:50

You are driving to France with a nine week old baby? I really wouldn't be doing that.

unfortunateevents · 09/12/2021 08:55

I know you don't want to let your friend down but this really doesn't sound like a sensible plan to me - particularly the bit where you are driving a right-hand car on the other side of the road for the first time. Apart from anything else, at that age your baby is presumably in a rear-facing car seat in front so will be in the middle of the road rather than at the pavement side as usual.

DownWhichOfLate · 09/12/2021 08:55

I wouldn’t go. It sounds very stressful and hard work. Sorry.

Hoppinggreen · 09/12/2021 08:55

I really don’t think you should go to be honest given your post

SpindlesWinterWhorl · 09/12/2021 08:56

No way would I do that, or expect a friend to do it.

Negligee · 09/12/2021 08:57

I think that going in the circumstances you describe would be insanely difficult and unenjoyable. No one would expect someone to do such a long solo, international drive with a newborn.

VirusgonnaVirus · 09/12/2021 08:59

Shoot, should have done that, wonder if I can do that and cancel the first form >off to google<

Not a chance in hell I would drive on my own in Europe with a newborn, and I'm confident driving abroad.
Anyone planning a wedding with people travelling must realise that it could be impossible to go.

EnidFrighten · 09/12/2021 09:00

Nope. Your newborn will not like it, you will have an awful time and your friend will barely get to see you anyway.

BillyBarryBoo · 09/12/2021 09:01

I wouldn't go.
Your friend will understand.

CasaBonita · 09/12/2021 09:03

This sounds like a ridiculous plan. Sorry.

HalloHello · 09/12/2021 09:05

I think having a 9 week old baby is enough of an excuse not to go to a wedding where you will be mostly alone. The bride isn't going to be able to speak to you the whole day/night, you'll be alone most of the time. Absolutely no way I'd even think about going, stay home with your DH and wee boy and enjoy a weekend with them! If your friend is a good friend, she will understand. If you don't want to tell the truth, just say you've been a close contact and have to isolate 🤷‍♀️ perfect excuse!

Original poster
MrsCremuel · 09/12/2021 09:06

I’ve messaged her to arrange a call. It’s too much, it would have been fine with my friend who drives in France all the time and was also taking her baby but I really can’t do it alone.

I feel a lot of relief.

OP posts:
Namenic · 09/12/2021 09:06

Um - I would consider not going to this one. It’s a long car journey - it’s not recommended for newborns to stay for long periods in the car seat in 1 go - so needs frequent stop offs. Do you know the route well or will it be unfamiliar?

ThePlantsitter · 09/12/2021 09:08

I think if this is something you really want to do you could just about manage it, but it would be massively hard work. However if you are anxious about it and don't actually want to do it (would just feel bad about not going), just don't. Honestly it's not a small thing and I don't think many people would embrace the challenge of right-side driving, newborn, alone at wedding, Covid. Many people in here wouldn't even attempt the alone at wedding part.

As an aside, driving in France in your own car is easy and the roads are way better there, but that's not with the whole newborn/Covid etc ingredients.

Xmasbaby11 · 09/12/2021 09:09

I would not even consider going tbh. Too much travel and stress.

jclm · 09/12/2021 09:10

That's a good decision OP. Hope you haven't lost lots of money. People expect crazy commitment from people with regard to wedding attendance.

Snoken · 09/12/2021 09:16

Yes, good decision not to go. There is no way I would have in your circumstances.

Double3xposure · 09/12/2021 09:20

@MrsCremuel

I’ve messaged her to arrange a call. It’s too much, it would have been fine with my friend who drives in France all the time and was also taking her baby but I really can’t do it alone.

I feel a lot of relief.

Good decision, for all the reasons that PP have already said.

Apart from all the driving on the right / strange car stuff , your journey will take much longer as you can’t leave a newborn baby in a car seat for 2.5 hours.

Also you will spend most of the wedding feeding the baby, it won’t be any fun.

If your friend is difficult about it, tell her that you are coming down with mastitis and need to see your GP to see if you need antibiotics. Then over the weekend you can manage to clear the lump yourself so you won’t need meds.

Normally I don’t advocate lying but sometimes needs must. It’s a card to have up your sleeve.

I assume you know that you will have to do a covid test when you get back and self Isolate until you get a negative result? How is that going to work with your toddler?

mnahmnah · 09/12/2021 09:24

Absolutely no chance I would do that! And I’m the kind of person who generally just goes for it and assumes it will be fine. But this would just not be fair on you or baby. Especially when you only know the bride and nobody else going. In the circumstances they should definitely understand

CityCommuter · 09/12/2021 10:14

@MrsCremuel absolutely not, I think you'd be crazy to drive to France with a 9 week old in Winter on your own! Not only that but the stress of Covid travel restrictions being updated at a moments notice with your other little DS left behind in UK. You'll need to take PCR tests fir the journey there and back at your expense for a 2 day trip...

Also, you don't know anyone there apart from the bride so she'd totally understand your situation if she's a good friend... if I was her I'd be worried for you driving on your own in a different country with a newborn incase baby got sick, you're tired or you broke down or anything else happened that I haven't thought of! How does your DH feel about you going, is he worried or encouraging you to go?