Why does life admin overwhelm me so much?

[Lamont77]

Anyone else sometimes feel completely overwhelmed by general life admin that seems to be non stop and never simple.

Here I am, awake since 4am because I renewed insurance over the phone yesterday and checked the policy this morning (was working til late) and some of the details I asked for are incorrect. So I'll have to call again at 8.30. Such a small thing, and hopefully easily fixed - but it does bog me down that routine things never seem simple.

Also made worse by the fact I can't get anyone on the phone most of the time. Another example is the Dr's still haven't given me medication despite receiving letter from hospital in October! I've called 3 times and they tell me they will action it and call back ??? I've ended up just buying it online but I'm pretty sure that's not safe.

Gas fire broke, gas fire man apparently came on Tuesday but no phone call and didn't hear the door. So that's been rearranged after chasing it up twice.

I could go on 🤦‍♀️ but yes, life admin sucks and often drags small things out into larger, annoying things, and I generally hate dealing with it and if I was rich I'd most certainly get a PA

Life admin is boring, often takes way too long (on hold, crap websites etc) often costs money.

And it is unpaid and no one wants to hear about it.

BUT you do get the satisfaction of knowing you’ve averted a huge mess to sort out further down the line, which is what happens if you don’t do it.

Yep, I totally hear you! I'm overwhelmed with it at the moment too. Doesn't help that the school Christmas admin with kids in two different schools is INTENSE!
It's not just the normal day to day stuff but as others have said, all the things that should be simple to sort but since covid no one seems to be functioning properly anymore and everything is such a hassle to sort.
Plus Christmas admin - so many parcels late/wrong item/damaged/missing this year.

But then you've got to find a broker. I tried A Plan a couple of years ago, still took absolutely ages, still had to wade through mountains of small print checking it all and considerably more expensive than I eventually managed to find via comparison site.

Which reminds me, I need to find a solicitor to update our wills, the one we used previously is no longer operating

I thought it would get easier as the DCs got older - wrong! Admittedly mine are harder because both have SENs but two different secondary schools and now university and college decisions/applications in the same term is pretty full-on. Not to mention they do a lot of sport and I still have to do the admin for that till they turn 18.

My Dad died this year so I've taken over my Mum's life admin. I dread walking into her house because there's always a pile of letters to sort through. Overcharged again by Virgin Media, Dad's pension, tax bills of varying amounts owed ..... it's never ending. Oh and don't get me started on trying to sort out online banking!!!!!

Yup. I rely on lists. I have a permanent To Do list and I sit down either on Friday or Sunday to update/revise for the week ahead. Its usually a combination of things I need to do in the week, and things it would be useful if I could do, but aren't essential.

I generally find it quite manageable, but that’s because we require virtually no interaction with the NHS, we only have 1 car which I don’t drive which means DH does everything relating to it, and we probably spend more than we should on some utilities as switching is too much hassle.

If I have to phone someone about something it just won’t happen. I will deliberately avoid suppliers if I have to speak to them and can’t do everything I need to online.

I bloody hate it. House needs remortgaging, dog needs vaccinations, boiler service, dentist, fence needs repairing, presents to buy, a million subscriptions I don’t want but finding out how to cancel is like solving a fucking cryptic crossword. I work FT (and not from home, and never will be from home no matter what Boris says). I don’t have time for this. Feel like abandoning all my possessions and email accounts and begging a convent to take me in.

I do all my insurance through a local insurance broker, I give them my details and they sort out the best one for me and the price is no more than doing it online through a comparison site. It really has been a game changer!

Yes and buying for everyone. I got loads of clothes for my kids then a week later else’s grew two inches ffs. I actually cried when I realised I’d have to shop again. Something is ticked off the to do list that went back on.
So much stuff to do all of the time.

Yes then housework and kids on top! Just about to read the meter readings send them - late lunch break and return a package. Trying to get hold of my business partner re some trust papers. Weighing at the back of my mind as there is a time limit on getting those signed!

Insurance is the one that makes me grind my teeth, people claim it’s super quick to do online.

Well unless you are trying to get something very niche insured it is pretty quick to do standard house, contents or car insurance online.

Well unless you are trying to get something very niche insured it is pretty quick to do standard house, contents or car insurance online.

See my post above - sure, the actual act of buying the insurance took a couple of minutes but the whole thing from start to finish took way, way longer and quite a bit of mental effort.

Imagine having a life admin Pa, that’s the stuff dreams are made of!

For insurance renewals, energy switching etc I find it helpful to give myself a theoretical 'hourly rate' for my time spent on researching deals. So if my 'hourly rate' was, say, £25, switching companies to get a saving of £50 on my insurance renewal would only be worth it if it took 2 hours or less of my time. Otherwise I'd have wasted so much time on it I might as well just accept my renewal quote and get on with my life.

Totally agree. Relentless tasks and incompetent people or mistakes made every single time which actually means you have to repeat the task that ‘should only take 5 minutes’ several times.

Just found out that our payroll have screwed up with Hmrc re our pension contributions and additionally somehow ticked the wrong box for last year to confirm ‘end of year pay’ accidentally advising it was ‘end of employment’. The whole department have ended up with incorrect paye contributions and we have to each (120 people) call Hmrc to sort it as the company can’t. How many wasted hours…

Dont get me started on the trades people that never show up.

This thread reminded me I needed to change my address with HMRC. It was a fucking ballache, obviously.

I hear you! Currently dealing with:

Waiting for PCR results for sick kids and having to cancel various classes and social things as a result.

British Gas sorting out our broken boiler (didn't have the part, didn't come for the follow up appt when they were supposed to).

Smart meter people (BG picked up that the smart meter wasn't installed right but they're not allowed to fix it).

Transport for London - allegedly couldn't take an Oyster top up payment but didn't notify me at the time. Then took 2 payments at once next time - except that even though the payments went through they cancelled my card for non-payment (so I'm now £100 down and with an Oyster card that doesn't work).

My gym have just sent me a letter saying they're going to debit my account for something that I've already paid so I need to call them today.

A big one that's just been resolved - I requested to move some funds from an old pension scheme into my current one, the money was taken from the old scheme but it took 5 weeks of emails and phone calls before it was deposited into the new scheme.

There's always bloody something, and customer service on the whole seems to have gone to shit. On top of work, DC and all the day to day stuff it's impossible to keep on top of it all.

The problem is that a lot of life admin issues these days seem to be sorting out 'balls-ups' that aren't of your making. So nothing is a quick 'do' anymore. And actually, a lot of the online ones seem to take longer than if they were face-to-face or done by letter!

Waiting on a PCR test result for DD and there are about five bits of admin I'm going to have to do on her behalf if she tests positive. But I don't want to jump the gun in case the result is negative!

People with partners, do your partners share the load? On MN over the years it has become very apparent that women take the mental load often as well as most of the chores.

DH and I are older when we moved in he expected me to behave like his Mother had, which was do all that kind of stuff. I remember his confusion when I said I would not be writing even one Christmas card to his side of the family and 25 years ago everyone sent cards. I wrote my side and he wrote his. He still sends about 30, I send about 10 these days.

Women always want to be liked and just don’t say no enough. So a pattern emerges early on in relationships that’s then hard to break.

ISaidDontLickTheBin this has always been our approach to saving money

I really feel this! God, so glad it’s not just me! You’ve hit the nail on the head with ‘routine things are never simple’.

For me, it’s the way that
a) the list never gets shorter- I tick off all my boring life admin, and then the gas company double bill me or something….
B) it’s mostly me doing it, since DH just doesn’t get bothered by the gas company double billing us
C) having to make calls and sit on hold during work hours
D) effort versus reward are very, very poorly aligned. Spending an hour trying to get a refund from the gas company does not feel like a win.

I couldn't even order coffee capsules the other day. Had a massive tantrum and cancelled the account. I'll sell the machine and go back to instant LIFE IS TOO sHORT

@Bubblecap DP's actually a total godsend for me with all this stuff.

His 'love language' is Acts of Service, so sometimes I'll find he's ticked things off my list for me.

It's one of the benefits of us being so different in so many ways –the tasks I hate, he doesn't mind, and vice versa, and he's excellent at peeling me off the ceiling when I'm having a particularly frustrating day of it all.

Not very MN of me, I know, but I hit the jackpot with him.

@Bubblecap yeah we share it but my insurance is in my name, gas engineer man my DP arranged and chased up (so I didn't have to actually do that but the new date doesn't suit DP with work so I'm now dealing with him iyswim) and my doctors won't speak to anyone but me obviously, so it's a bit of a pain.

DP deals with the home insurance, life insurance, mortgage, financial stuff because that is my pet hate. We both sit down together to decide, but he is the one that goes and organises it.

I deal with arranging tradesmen normally (lucky me), refunds, bday and most of Christmas as my family is huge compared to his so I start early anyway, and the car insurance.

On a brighter note, I did manage to get my medication sorted, my insurance is now fixed, and gas engineer apparently coming today. It almost feels too good to be true

OMG I was going to write this exact thread!

It's because nobody is accountable anymore, they just lie, hang up the phone and you have to start all over again. Does my head in.