Just need a handhold--confrontation with a group of men at work

[Coffeetree]

A group of three men just barged into our lobby and when I asked for their names they gave me joke names (like Mickey Mouse).

I said, no really what are your names and whom are you here to see? They refused, demanding to know who I thought I was.

I was alone in the wing of the building with them, three colleagues in another part of building, out of hearing range.

I told the men if they weren't going to say who they were, they had to go. I said they were trespassing. Finally they went to pavement but not before literally shouting at me.

It turned out they were here for a pre-arranged appt with my male colleague. They thought I was someone who'd dealt with them before so they thought I did actually recognise them and was being funny, or something.

My male colleague brought them in and made them apologise to me. And now they're sat there doing business because money.

Misogyny never sleeps.

Good for you for standing your ground.

Those creeps are so far beneath you I’d be surprised if you can even see them leave.

Probably the biggest they’ve ever felt and they’re still on the ground.

Their apology was very sweet and genuine to be fair. But I fear that's because my male colleague told them that I was his boss. Gives me a new appreciation for what our poor receptionist has to deal with.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

Good for you for standing your ground.

Those creeps are so far beneath you I’d be surprised if you can even see them leave.

Probably the biggest they’ve ever felt and they’re still on the ground.

Thank you. It really sucked and I feel all shaky and emotional.

Bloody hell!

Is that it then - they get away with it??

Yes because misogyny and because money.

Your male colleague needs to ensure his cronies know how to behave in the future.

I feel your pain op. I was once alone in the office with a repair man who nonchalantly informed me that he was covertly videoing me on his phone and how he always does this so he can watch later....

I'm glad your colleague made them apologise. Hopefully it'll have sunk in a tiny bit that their behaviour wasn't acceptable. No wonder you feel upset.

@Coffeetree

Their apology was very sweet and genuine to be fair. But I fear that's because my male colleague told them that I was his boss. Gives me a new appreciation for what our poor receptionist has to deal with.

Maybe it would be a good thing to make sure she has access to a panic button if she is working alone out of sight and hearing of other colleagues..

I would tell your male colleague again that you think these men are dicks and that you personally will not be dealing with them again under any circumstances.

Wow are they employed somewhere else and visiting you as presentations of their company?

At best that’s very unprofessional and poorly judged behaviour, at worst it’s intimidating and bloody weird.

Hmm. If they are employed by someone else they could get in trouble for that if you contacted and made a complaint. I probably wouldn’t do that but i would be wondering why my employer is dealing with people who act like that.

*representatives not presentations!

Do you work in an industry where these men could be dropped without too much of a financial/reputational (is that a word?) impact?

@Forion

Your male colleague needs to ensure his cronies know how to behave in the future.

Yes, I would follow up very seriously with your colleague, emphasise that while you appreciate him making them apologise, you will not be dealing with these people again, and that he needs to ask himself a few searching questions about doing business with misogynist hooligans.

Our receptionist does have a panic button.she was working upstairs when it happened.

I sort of laughed to keep from crying, I was that upset. I said "Apology accepted Mr. Mouse" and now everyone's joking about it. But it was honestly really upsetting.

My colleague said he'd drop them as clients if they didn't apologise

@Coffeetree

Our receptionist does have a panic button.she was working upstairs when it happened.

I sort of laughed to keep from crying, I was that upset. I said "Apology accepted Mr. Mouse" and now everyone's joking about it. But it was honestly really upsetting.

Of course it's really upsetting. You were subjected to misogynistic aggression in your own professional environment, for doing your job.

Are the assholes still there? Who exactly is joking about it -- the assholes? Your colleague?

Well done. That sounds like it was scary and you dealt with it perfectly. Your male colleague was good to make them apologise too, lots of people wouldn't.

No they're not laughing at me. My colleagues are like, "Coffeetree told them off! She called him Mr Mouse lol" And I'm acting like it hasn't upset me.

@Coffeetree

No they're not laughing at me. My colleagues are like, "Coffeetree told them off! She called him Mr Mouse lol" And I'm acting like it hasn't upset me.

Well, I think you should pat yourself on the back for dealing with it as it happened, but I also think that after you've gone home, had a drink and a night's sleep, you should pick it up tomorrow with your colleague and say that this will under no circumstances ever be happening again, you will categorically not be having anything further to do with these men, who should be kept off the premises if they can't behave appropriately.