Hi, my son is 12yrs old and I have never bonded with him. Sometimes I can go to the extreme and say that I don't like him. I am at my wits end, for years, I have tried so hard to have the bond with him that I have with my other son, but it hasn't happened, I feel an absolute failure, why has this happened? He is my 1st born and he was so longed for and I don't understand how I can feel this way. I can't speak to my family about my feelings, or to anyone, I just don't know what I can do that I have not already tried for us to get closer and for our bond to grow.