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Original poster

Neighbour Said We're Too Noisy

28 replies

Noisyneighneigh · 08/12/2021 10:10

He said that. He is my upstairs neighbour. I was expecting it because he bangs on my ceiling when DS 23 months stomps. I have an older DC but he isn't as stompy and he listens when I say "stop." The other one doesn't and laughs when I tell him. He walks on his tip toes and then reverts to running. I promised to try to be more quiet. I know it can't be nice for neighbour but I can't seem to make him stop stomping. It's not all day, we go out to play and he plays with his toys but he goes on stomping rampages and that's when my neighbour bangs on my ceiling. He gets up up at 7.15, in bed by by 1930 and goes for 90 minute naps- just in case you wondered whether the times were anti social. Is there anything I can do to stop him stomping? I'm feeling on edge every time he makes a noise and probably my neighbour is equally on edge.

OP posts:
SilverHairedCat · 08/12/2021 10:13

What flooring do you have? Is it echoey?

amusedbush · 08/12/2021 10:13

I had a neighbour whose toddler would thunder up and down - it honestly sounded like they strapped the kid into clogs and let him go wild. It must be hard for you but I also feel for your neighbour.

Do you have hard floors? Could you put down thick rugs?

Seeline · 08/12/2021 10:16

What do you mean by stomping?
Does he deliberately stamp around the house? In his outdoor shoes?
Or is it just normal toddler running about?

I'm surprised that it bothers an upstairs neighbour if it is just normal child-playing type noise.

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Original poster
Noisyneighneigh · 08/12/2021 10:18

I have carpets. It does seem to make a noise.

OP posts:
Original poster
Noisyneighneigh · 08/12/2021 10:21

@Seeline. We do not wear our shoes in the house. It's stompy running. He just seems to put his feet down so hard. It's just the way he walks.

OP posts:
longtompot · 08/12/2021 10:25

Does your neighbour have carpets on his floor? It seems odd he can hear your child's foot steps, in carpeted floors, above you. Do you have neighbours below you? Have they said anything?

Almostmenopausal · 08/12/2021 10:26

Does your neighbour have anyone above him? Could he be mistaking someone else for your flat?

BurningBright7 · 08/12/2021 10:30

Try adding more rugs on top of carpet, and keep reiterating to little one to walk gently till he grows up a bit to understand. I mean he is little .

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 08/12/2021 10:31

Some people are too noisy but some people have completely unreasonably entitled expectations of complete silence when living in extremely close proximity to lots of strangers, in poorly converted flat conversions or semis or terraces with cardboard thin walls and expect the world to trad on eggshells around them, ruining multiple other people's quality of life because they're constitutionally incapable of the give and take essential to living in those types of housing but won't or can't move...

LakeShoreD · 08/12/2021 10:33

Weird that your upstairs neighbour can hear walking on carpet to that extent. Are you sure he’s not got you confused with whoever is above him? Or if your kids can be loud could he have said shouting not stomping? But presuming that’s all a no then you are allowed to make normal household noise and your children are allowed to walk in their home. If there’s an issue with the construction of the building then that’s not your problem. I’d honestly stop engaging with the neighbour.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 08/12/2021 10:36

Sorry, that was possibly the longest sentence on MN... Blush

It might be him who's being unreasonable, not you. Some people buy flats in shoddy conversions or terraced houses with cardboard walls and then expect their neighbours to be completely silent. These people are unreasonable and unrealistic. Obviously in other cases neighbours are indeed too noisy - but not a child in the flat beneath who's heavy footed but not actually jumping or stamping nor yelling etc and sleeps from 7:30pm to 7am!

VanCleefArpels · 08/12/2021 10:36

Instead of focussing on your child “stomping” would you consider inviting your neighbour round for a cup of tea and essentially kill him with kindness, get him to see the toddler in action as it were, play up the “toddlers are just a bit much sometimes” line etc

Original poster
Noisyneighneigh · 08/12/2021 10:38

No. He is on the last floor. I wish he was mistaking me for someone else but it's definitely us. When toddler stomps he bangs on my ceiling. Below flat is unoccupied at the moment. Previous below neighbour moved because of the expense but maybe it was a cover story Blush. She was a mum and a child minder. She invited me and the children round for tea and play and I apologised as he zipped around her flat but she said "it's just toddler boys, my mindee is the same." She seemed an honest and direct woman. I hope I didn't make her time below us a misery.

OP posts:
Original poster
Noisyneighneigh · 08/12/2021 10:47

Oh god @VanCleefArpels. It kills him to say "hi" to me. I did think about it but he has a very grumpy face and I think he might rather sit on a bed of nails.

OP posts:
VanCleefArpels · 08/12/2021 10:48

No harm in asking?

TakeYourFinalPosition · 08/12/2021 10:50

If he bangs when the toddler stamps, he can definitely hear it. How much does he stomp?

If you’re going to have downstairs neighbours at some point too, it’s probably worth seeing how you can limit it, as it’d be very loud for the people underneath and they might not be as kind as the last person! Thick indoor slippers? Rugs?

As an aside, I was a stompy kid, I put my feet down heavily. It wasn’t deliberate, and was actually a sign that I’m really flat footed. Fixing that meant I could walk much better; and stopped a lot of leg/back pain in my teens, too.

northbacchus · 08/12/2021 11:25

How's your underlay? I'd be potentially going with some extra rugs (you could even try carpet cutoffs which are usually v cheap!)

MindyStClaire · 08/12/2021 11:38

Tbh that sounds like normal noise - two year olds don't tend to be light on their feet. You have carpet, you don't wear shoes. I doubt there's much else you can do. Your DC is allowed to live a normal life in his home.

UnLunDun · 08/12/2021 13:36

One of my daughters was much louder than the others whilst walking, even bare foot and on carpets, it came to no surprise when she was diagnosed with flat feet when a little older. Bear this in mind, but otherwise there’s nothing you can practically do apart from extra rugs and slipper socks.

Nidan2Sandan · 08/12/2021 13:41

From an "official" stand point (I work in ASB) nose caused by young children is classed as "unenforceable daily life noise" ie kids make noise and it's to be expected.

Unofficially, I would probably put him in foam bottomed slipped and add extra rugs if you think you want to try to reduce the noise he makes but offically you dont have to.

Nidan2Sandan · 08/12/2021 13:41

*slippers

THisbackwithavengeance · 08/12/2021 18:02

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

Some people are too noisy but some people have completely unreasonably entitled expectations of complete silence when living in extremely close proximity to lots of strangers, in poorly converted flat conversions or semis or terraces with cardboard thin walls and expect the world to trad on eggshells around them, ruining multiple other people's quality of life because they're constitutionally incapable of the give and take essential to living in those types of housing but won't or can't move...
This.

@UntilYourHairBrainedScheme has it spot on. Unless your toddler weighs 20 stones and has cast iron shoes, how much noise is he going to make? Realistically?

Some people are just miserable cunts and looking for an excuse - any excuse - to vent their spleen.

If you're a nice person, you could ignore him and do your best to minimise the noise with lots shushing, extra rugs etc.

Or you could show him what real noisy neighbours sound like. He should count his lucky stars he's not living next door to some of the horrors you read about on here.

Billandben444 · 08/12/2021 18:37

It sounds like normal noise to me and he must have elephant ears to hear it from upstairs. Our upstairs neighbours have laminate flooring and when their little one runs up and down she sounds like a pit pony in tap shoes! I'd ignore him and just enjoy your children - flat dwelling is hard enough for families as it is. You could always have a broom handy and bang back? Or put radio on low to mask the sound? Please don't lose sleep over it though 💐

Igotstoknow · 08/12/2021 18:45

I'm struggling to understand how your UPSTAIRS neighbour can hear your child running? Have you left out vital info like your toddler is the off spring of spiderman and runs on the ceiling? Or that your toddler is made of lead?

I had an upstairs neighbour whose child and dog ran round all day, jumped, jumped off furniture etc. It was really loud but I just turned up my tv/music or wore earphones. I felt sorry for the kid and the dog because it was literally all day every day because they weren't taken out to play/exercise but I wouldn't complain about a kid and a dog playing and running, that's what they do.

zebra · 08/12/2021 19:17

If he's quiet between 7pm and 7 am I don't really think he's got much to too be moaning about. Kids make a noise