Lazy housemates and hosting a dinner party

[buskneeah]

How do you get a lazy housemate to do anything?

I live with two of my closest friends in a nice house share (young professionals).

We decided to host a christmas dinner party with 7 guests joining us. So cooking for 10. We’re going a bit all out. Canapes, champagne, three courses etc. Everything made from scratch.

So far, I have made the starter, made the vegan main, made the pudding, made the canapes, made the invites, bought table decorations, ordered all the ingredients etc.

My one housemate has helped me with some of this, and has been a great help in brain storming recipe ideas.

But the one has done absolutely nothing. Every time I try and ask him what he will be doing to contribute, he says “oh i’ll buy something” or “I’ll google how to do the roast potatoes on the day”. This is on top of the fact that we had to reschedule the dinner party because he forgot he had something else on.

To be clear, this was agreed to be a joint event. We each got to invite a few guests each.

I just know on the night of the dinner party, he will get loud and rumbumptious, and probably drunk. Also he will then bask in all the work that’s been put in, and won’t mention he’s done sweet fa to help.

Well your first mistake was rescheduling when he couldn't make it. His laziness hasn't just cone out now,I assume it's somthing you knew in advance of planning the dinner.
That would drive me mad.

You’re going to have to give him a list. Targets. KPIs. Is he one of those men who do that studied insouciance thing in relation to domestic matters? Stuff that. Tell him that he can clean the bathroom before and after as well, since you’re doing most of the hard work.

It's bad enough that people have to go through this with partners, you've only gone and chosen to get stressed over a friend. Sounds a lot of hassle.

Depends whether you want to stay on good terms really.

If you do, the most stress-free option would be simply to agree with the other housemate that you two will do it all, you'll 'host' him as well, and you'll not include him again.

If you don't care, then I would be sneaky (if you can get the other housemate onboard). I would tell him something has come up and you've got to revert to the original date, sorry, and he needs to let his mates know as you'd not feel comfortable hosting them without him. He may suspect you were irritated by his lack of effort but he won't be able to prove it, and you'll have a lovely time without him.

You can't shame other people into doing what they ultimately don't want to do. May as well learn that now.
Just host him, along with everyone else, and be gracious about it. He may repay you one day by graciously doing something for you. He may not. It doesn't matter.

Make him responsible for the alcohol and cheese maybe. Think about things he will miss if they aren't there. It doesn't sound as if he is as into it all as you both are so just try to salvage some contribution.

Just charge him money

When he basks -you laugh and say "Oi you cooked nothing! You put the salt and pepper on the table!"

As other PP said, put him in charge of hoovering and cleaning toilets and maybe, buying wine if you can trust him

If he does nothing, next time he isn't included as it's just yours and friend's dinner party. You don't have to include him nor socialise together every time . In a house share you're allowed to
have dinner parties without each other.

Those that aren't hosting / cooking don't get to invite guests as he's a guest. If he wants to invite guests, he does his own dinner party.

.I wouldn't reschedule for him again. That was your get out clause to invite another couple- He double books, he misses out...

Simple

You give him the clearing up to do as his contribution

Agree with the above, get him to buy the alcohol. He can’t get drunk and obnoxious if he forgot to buy the booze. If he does forget it’s a simple thing for someone to pick up, unlike having to cook a main course at the last minute.

@Cattitudes

Make him responsible for the alcohol and cheese maybe. Think about things he will miss if they aren't there. It doesn't sound as if he is as into it all as you both are so just try to salvage some contribution.

Good idea

Poor you OP. Sounds lovely