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Procrastination crippling me

28 replies

mentalhealthshot · 06/12/2021 21:26

I need help! I’ve always been an ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ type of person and as we all know tomorrow never comes and I either don’t do what should’ve been done at all or end up in a last minute panic.

I need to change this because it’s starting to ruin my life. My house is always messy, nothing is ever planned (I haven’t even started on Christmas yet!), bills are always paid late, I miss appointments just because I’m not ‘ready’ on time, I’ve a to do list for work that I never get to the end of, college assignment due in on Friday that I haven’t started 😢 I just feel so overwhelmed with everything but don’t know what to do to change it.

I write lists, use apps etc but then never look at them. I need life changing tips because I’m on the brink of ruining opportunities that I’ve been given, opportunities that I do want (college for example) but I’m so close to losing it because I can’t seem to organise myself OR get anything done.

OP posts:
SelfHelpPlease · 06/12/2021 21:32

Please go to your doctor. It sounds like you have ADHD. They can refer you for an assessment or you can go private. Once diagnosed, you can be prescribed medication.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 06/12/2021 21:35

On what basis have you diagnosed adhd? Frankly that sounds a ridiculous leap of the imagination. Arr you trained in diagnosing?

Ilikecheeseontoast · 06/12/2021 21:35

I second the previous poster. Sounds like you have ADHD or ADD. This isn’t normal behaviour. I hope you get help to make your like easier.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 06/12/2021 21:36

OP I'm a terrible procrastination. I started by getting direct debits foe all my bills so I donr have to think to sort them out. Would this be possible for you? Juat to start clearing some.soace in your mind
...

Ilikecheeseontoast · 06/12/2021 21:36

I am a school SENDCO so have lots of experience recognising common traits.

BuildingBlocks1 · 06/12/2021 21:39

You're not on your own OP. Looking forward to seeing any helpful suggestions as I can be very similar (especially with regards to trying to lose weight which I desperately need to do with wedding looming)

dumdedumpop · 06/12/2021 21:39

@Toohardtofindaproperusername

On what basis have you diagnosed adhd? Frankly that sounds a ridiculous leap of the imagination. Arr you trained in diagnosing?
Not to someone with ADHD or who knows someone with ADHD. I'm the former, and it's the first thing I thought when I read the OP. She's describing procrastination that is affecting her everyday life and that becomes disabling. So it absolutely could be ADHD.
BigSigh2021 · 06/12/2021 21:41

(If you think this sounds like you, head to the health boards and read the ADHD threads for further advice).

Aphantasia · 06/12/2021 21:58

Omg, I just did that test, fuck me, have I got to the ripe old age of 41 without realising I have adhd???what does this mean? Is there actually any punt in medication at my stage of life… will I be able to focus??😵‍💫🥴

pickingdaisies · 06/12/2021 21:58

Yes agree it could be ADHD. The link is very useful. OP, one thing that helped me is to write a short list of tasks to do the next day. Literally just two or three out of the dozens that are stacking up. Quick to do ones, like make a dentist appointment. Mop the kitchen floor. Buy new light bulbs.
Always one thing that really needs sorting and in danger of being forgotten.
Then in the morning I do those things even if I don't be manage anything else.
I use one of those pads with pages divided in sections. To do, to buy, don't forget, it helps organise my thoughts.
Another life changer is using the calender on my phone to put my appointments and reminders. I put them on a big wall calendar too. I mostly make it to all my appointments now.
But mainly, you have to just do it whatever it is. Don't leave it, or put it to one side. Do it before it goes out of your head. I really sympathise, so please know that it's not a failing. It's because your brain doesn't work like everybody else's.

SelfHelpPlease · 06/12/2021 22:11

@Toohardtofindaproperusername

On what basis have you diagnosed adhd? Frankly that sounds a ridiculous leap of the imagination. Arr you trained in diagnosing?
You don't have to be so rude! She is describing me. So I'm going on my own personal experience.
mentalhealthshot · 07/12/2021 06:45

Thank you all for replying. That link was very useful, reading it I was ‘yep that’s me’ to every, single one. I have been to the gp a few before (not specifically for this just for feeling that I don’t feel right) and they tell me it’s anxiety.

I will make an appointment in the new year to discuss things again because I really can’t go on like this. In the meantime I need to try to motivate myself in some way to get through the next few weeks. This is a constant thing, me just trying to get through to a certain point and get things done, I tell myself after that everything will be fine and I’ll change things but of course that never happens.

OP posts:
Smileyclouds · 07/12/2021 07:07

Try the book / e book 'Master Your Motivation' by Thibault Meurisse, I found that very helpful with procrastination and still revisit it occasionally!

DownUdderer · 07/12/2021 07:37

Don't procrastinate booking in to see the GP!

rifling · 07/12/2021 07:48

That link sounds exactly like me too! If you can afford it OP , try to pay any bills as soon as you get them. Also have ONE notebook where you write down what you need to do. I often used to forget I'd even made lists. The simpler the system, the better. I think I probably had ADHD and I think my dad and youngest son do too. We all seem to get overwhelmed by tasks/noise etc

littlepieces · 07/12/2021 08:07

Following because this is me.
My doctor basically laughed when I went suggesting ADHD. They said my only option if I was assessed would be to take high strength stimulants which would be bad for my heart and have a ton of side effected. So I'd be better off just reading about productivity and time management online..

Something that I feel does make a difference though is sleep. Are you going to bed earlyish (10-11) and getting a solid 7 hours or so?

mentalhealthshot · 07/12/2021 08:14

My sleep can be erratic, I go weeks surviving on a few hours sleep a night then the next few weeks I need 12 hours a night. DS is also like this, we thought it was just a family quirk Grin

OP posts:
pickingdaisies · 10/12/2021 18:21

@littlepieces that's outrageous. I believe there's some way of forcing your GP to refer you for testing, there was another thread about it somewhere. I'll have a look.

pickingdaisies · 10/12/2021 18:38

@littlepieces
No, I was wrong! You need a sympathetic GP. I completed an online questionnaire provided by an ADHD organisation, which showed me I have ADHD. It's not an official diagnosis but at my age I don't think I'd gain anything by getting one. Could you use the results of a questionnaire to convince your GP?

littlepieces · 12/12/2021 11:49

Thank you for taking a look @pickingdaisies. I've found a couple of questionnaires online that can give an indication of ADHD (I score high on both). I'll try and see if I can talk to someone else. This thread has reminded me I need to do something about it actually Smile

Phrenologistsfinger · 12/12/2021 12:30

I am totally the same, diagnosed with ADHD aged 39 last year. Such a relief to have an explanation!

pickingdaisies · 12/12/2021 14:16

@littlepieces

Thank you for taking a look *@pickingdaisies*. I've found a couple of questionnaires online that can give an indication of ADHD (I score high on both). I'll try and see if I can talk to someone else. This thread has reminded me I need to do something about it actually Smile
You're welcome - do it now before you get distractedGrin
winterismyfavouriteseason · 12/12/2021 14:19

I'm the exact same OP. The procrastination and also the sleeping.

I do find lists slightly helpful, and also trying to 'play it forward' in my head - as in, actually picture the consequences if I don't do it.

In my case I think it's part of severe chronic PTSD as my dad who also has PTSD is the same. Someone on here replied to a thread I had up saying 'it seems like you are expanding a lot of psychic energy on trying to keep something down'. That really resonated with me and still does, I should thank that poster. I try to be kind to myself - my counselling helps with that - it's not our fault, we have some kind of condition (likely).

I'm not qualified re ADD / ADHD so can't speak on that. I hope you can get a diagnosis, whatever it is, and get some treatment to help you. Please try push past the 'it's anxiety' that the GPs usually trot out (imo because it's expensive and long wait lists for disgnosis). It could be anxiety, but you deserve proper assessment.

MsWalterMitty · 12/12/2021 14:22

@Toohardtofindaproperusername

On what basis have you diagnosed adhd? Frankly that sounds a ridiculous leap of the imagination. Arr you trained in diagnosing?
I’m actually a trained ADHD practitioner, and op does show traits. From what she’s said. But I wouldn’t jump straight to medication