Something really lovely happened today

[Anordinarymum]

Before I begin I just want to say please do not feel sorry for me. I have a lovely life. I have my children and my grandchildren around me all of the time and of course my dog who is equally as important :)

Four years ago my youngest child died in an horrific accident in a car.
There is not a day goes by when I do not cry at some point or feel a little sad, but it does not occupy and grip my mind these days. I have found way of living with it and getting on with life and laughing with my family.

Today I saw footage of my son having his mobile confiscated by a teacher in a corridor at school while his friend filmed it. Oh he looked so young and so happy. All the others around him were laughing and it was funny. He must have been about 13 or 14, and I do remember him coming home and telling me about the phone. Seeing him was like looking at something that happened yesterday and it felt nice.

Earlier in the day I was watching my grandson play football and chatting to one of the mums and she asked me where my youngest was since we were talking about our children and he was not mentioned apart from that I said I have three children.
When I told her he had died she was instantly regretful and I said to her I bet you wish you had never asked, but really.. it's OK. And it is. It's OK to talk.
It does not always hurt is what I am trying to say. Sometimes it is nice to talk and smile and not want to cry.

He sounds like he was a real character! Would you like to tell us more about him?

Thank you for this, you see you have given me hope for the future. My DH will most likely die in the next 3-6 months and, to know that one day, I will be able to look back without crying seems impossible at the moment. So thank you, to you and your lovely son for giving me some hope.

Thank you for sharing and teaching that it is ok to talk.

Oh I loved reading about the footage about the mobile phone.

❤️ He sounds like a great kid, full of good humour.

I’m glad you had a good day.

Love u.

Such lovely words and precisely how I feel. I too have a lovely life, I have 3 beautiful boys who helped me decorate the Xmas tree today. The last decorations we add are the ones that were made in nursery. I have 4 of these decorations as one belongs to my daughter who died a few months after making hers. Some days life hurts and I struggle, but most days I'm alright, it's nice to talk, to smile and to look forward whilst still remembering.

Talking allows memory to come alive and be vibrant... talking is vital. It brings your son back to you and also, we get to share him with you, even if it's just for a few minutes or hours.
Talk away! Keep his fire lit. It's a gift for others to hear about your amazing love for your amazing boy.

It was just nice to see him as I remember him - beautiful and happy with not a care in the world, and it was funny and I felt happy.
I could write a book about that boy and his antics. He was a character for sure and had friends everywhere.
One thing I always find nice is that people I do not know, but are introduced to me when we are attending a bonfire or a party or gathering, come up to me and tell me they were his best friend. He had that effect upon people, to make them feel special and that is a gift not all of us have :)

I'm so glad you have a little bit of peace and happiness.
I'm sure he is with you always in your heart.

He sounds amazing

I'm now over 2 decades after my sons death and over a decade after my daughters, and its so nice to look back on the lovely bits without feeling that crushing pain that only a bereaved parent can know.

I also love it when someone new asks and I can share a memory or 2. MN is actually amazing for that, I've posted many times over the years and there's always someone around who will take the time to listen to your memories or support you somehow.

I'm so glad you got to have this moment. Sending love to you and the memory of your son. Although others don't always share my beliefs, I believe these little moments are signs, sent to us when we need them most.

Thank you.
I do realise I am not the only one. I know at certain times of year the memories flood back for obvious reasons. If I have helped anyone I am glad. Today was a good day x x

I also wanted to say thank you for the hope. Grief feels absolutely overwhelming most of the time (my DH died in September, I realise that is not the same as a child dying though), and it is good to hear from someone who is doing ok.

How lovely that you were able to see this quirky footage of your son. Something that is unique and reflective of his character. I hope it's something that will also bring joy to your other children and grandchildren.

Thank you for sharing that, your son sounds fabulous & I love that you have such (mostly) happy memories of him.

I'm so sorry for the poster whose husband has a terminal diagnosis & for the poster whose husband v recently died. Such tough dark days. I don't have any reason to feel this but over the past few months I've some times Looked at my husband sleeping & been gripped by a terrible dread that something awful will happen to him. Because it will at some stage & we're now in our 50s & we've had friends bereaved & it feels closer to home somehow.

You are all in my thoughts

I’m so glad you got to see that video today. What a treat to see your boy full of life and laughter. Precious and now you have that memory 😊