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Original poster

3 and 5 yr old crap sleep

10 replies

Generatenewname · 05/12/2021 08:13

Is there anything I can do?

My just turned 3 yr old wakes a couple of times a night and is then up early. Trying gro clock but still at the stage of one of us laying with her after she wakes up to get her to stay in bed till the sun comes on. I know I could set sun earlier. I’ll try this. Thought we’d got it right after a couple of mornings of success.

My 5 yr old is autistic so night waking is to be expected. She’s often awake once or twice but at least not up at the crack of dawn.

Is there anything I can do about the 3 yr old in particular?

I keep waiting for things to get better but I have had a handful of full night’s sleep in 3 years now and I’m exhausted and fed up with this.

OP posts:
Cooperjay · 05/12/2021 09:20

No wisdom but following along as my just turned 4 year old is the same, and has been his whole life. We have never cracked it and have tried so many things. I'm chronically sleep deprived! Thankfully my other older child has slept through since being a baby so I'm inclined to think some kids are just like this. Sending sympathy.

Original poster
Generatenewname · 05/12/2021 11:04

Thanks. Sympathy to you too. I think lack of responses implies there is nothing to be done!

I wonder if starting school will help although that’s two years away…

I think I’ll start going to sleep at 8 as I can’t go on like this.

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 05/12/2021 15:23

We have similar with our three year old. We have a five year old who is NT but struggles with separation anxiety so needs company to get to sleep and has only just moved into her own bed Blush.

We’ve found some improvement from restricting the 3 fluids after 5pm and changing his nappy when we go to bed.

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Cooperjay · 06/12/2021 07:05

I think in our case, we are no longer waiting for him to sleep through but waiting for him to reach a level of maturity that he can understand other people need sleep and he needs to deal with it on his own. We are getting there. For years I have had to sit by his bed at every wake up. Now, I pop my head in and check he's ok, tell him I'll come back and check on him in 5, and he usually drops back off. I do have to go back in though as he sometimes stays awake for a while and for him to let me leave he needs to trust I'll come back. Occasionally he kicks off about me leaving but the deal is if he is too noisy he has to have his bedroom door shut so he doesn't wake his sister. If he's quiet, the door stays open. Things like this have made a big difference, and a year ago wouldn't have worked. He would just have screamed the house down.

3WildOnes · 06/12/2021 10:13

Could you try a star chart with a star for every night he doesn’t wake you up before the sun shines in the gro clock? Then a little treat for one star maybe a mini pack of Haribo and a bigger present for 5 or 10 stars.

ThatParent · 06/12/2021 10:21

Snap with Cooperjay and he figures out how to reset the groclock to sun within a week, overriding the child lock.

What you said is a very good idea I think I’ll start going to sleep at 8 as I can’t go on like this.
You can't tackle or deal with sleep issues when you're exhausted. Either you wait for them to grow out of it or you do whatever you can to get enough sleep. Go to bed early and get up when they do. I only had one rule - no screens early so there wasn't an incentive to get up so early. I did have to change my mindset to look at it as "1-1 time" and look at books together whilst I drank coffee. 12 now and occasionally sleeps in til 630 Hmm Other DC has always had to be woken up and given a good 15 minutes to surface.

Original poster
Generatenewname · 06/12/2021 14:34

Thanks @Cooperjay that makes sense. How old is he now? I’m not sure my dd would accept that I need sleep now but it’s the direction we’re heading in I think.

@ThatParent yes I do screens in the morning although she’s not that bothered really and wants to play with me so I’m not sure what I could do to not incentivise her! I’ll stick to going to sleep early myself.

She gets a reward for waiting for the sun but I think if she’s awake she doesn’t have the skills to decide “I’m awake but I want a reward so
I’ll go back to sleep”. She’s happy to have it if she happens to sleep but it’s not an effective tool otherwise.

OP posts:
wildcheesesteak · 06/12/2021 14:43

I've been thinking of speaking to my gp about melatonin for my 5 yr old. I can count the amount of times he's slept through until 7am on one hand.

Kinsters · 06/12/2021 15:31

What time is she going to bed? My 2 year old only wants 10 hours sleep or so on a regular night so I put her to bed at 10pm and then she's up at 8am which works well for us as we eat dinner together and then get a couple of hours after she's gone to bed to relax. We really did try for an 8pm bedtime but she'd be waking up after 30 minutes and refusing to go back to sleep so I just gave in to what she wanted her routine to be. I'm sure it'll change once she is going to nursery though.

Original poster
Generatenewname · 06/12/2021 19:04

Quite early @Kinsters but she no longer naps. She’s usually asleep by 7 and is exhausted by then. She went to bed later when she was napping but it didn’t make any difference.

I could cope with the early starts if she slept through but it’s the night wakings plus the early starts plus another child who also wakes nightly!

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