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What is self harm

8 replies

Mary89 · 04/12/2021 09:29

I’ve got into the habit of hitting my head or occasionally bash it into the wall. It’s been going on and off for some time, probably a few years. I do this when I do something wrong or when I’m criticised or when I feel like that the only person who cares for me and I suppose loves me is upset with me. It just feels like that I deserve it and sometimes I feel better after.

No one knows that I do this. I’ve got a lot of hair so if there would be any marks it would be covered. I rarely ever cry. I stopped crying as I was judged for it and as long as I remember no one really knew what to do with me when I cried. I remember from very young age that I used to just stand there like a total dick and whoever was there would look at me like ‘what a fuck’

I don’t have family or friends. Not a single one… I can’t make relationships. I do have a boyfriend who is very social and outgoing. People like him. He is easy to like. But I’m the opposite. No one likes me. No one ever wants to be with me. I understand why to be honest. I’m quite a difficult one. I do an awful lot of bad and often think bad things of others.

It’s just been tough tho… I know that others have much bigger problems than me… in all fairness my only problem is me. My behaviour. The things I say and do and think… but it’s just been tough and I just have no way out of it. I’ve lived like this always. 30 years gone and I don’t think I’ve ever been happy… not as a child. Not as a teenager. Not as an adult.

OP posts:
flimflammingo · 04/12/2021 16:07

Yes this is self-harm. I'm sorry you feel so badly about yourself.
Perhaps you could try counselling?

flimflammingo · 04/12/2021 16:08

Also could you be autistic? I am and some of what you say is familiar

Pixiedust1234 · 04/12/2021 16:45

oooohhhhhh poor you Flowers please please go to your GP and ask for help, you can't go on like this. You are worth more than you think.

EssexLioness · 04/12/2021 17:07

@flimflammingo

Also could you be autistic? I am and some of what you say is familiar
I hate it when autism is mentioned in response to any problem on here but I was going to post the very same thing. Self harm is so common in undiagnosed women. OP worth googling Tania Marshall and looking at her list of female autistic traits (autism typically presents very differently in women and we are often undiagnosed as a result). It was a real eye opener for me.
badlydrawnbear · 04/12/2021 18:11

Yes, this is self-harm. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t because it wasn’t as bad as what I had been doing before. Have you ever tried to seek professional help for it? Being honest about what you are doing and why is terrifying but probably worth it (I am not following my own advice)

Mary89 · 04/12/2021 22:46

I never talked about it to anyone and I’m not really sure how I can ever talk about it to anyone, even a professional.

I look into the autism side of it and read up in that a bit although I really think that I just do the head hitting because it’s not visible if I hurt myself but who knows… I don’t want to pretend that I’m a professional.

Maybe im wrong and it is… im quite socially awkward and really organised. I wasn’t always this organised but a for a while I’ve been feeling that work and being organised is the only thing I have control over…

Im just struggling to live like this now. It feels a lot of hard work. Every day.

OP posts:
theriverrunsthrough · 04/12/2021 22:53

OP, load of people self harm. Alcoholism, drugs, sabotage their own lives , physically self harm, eating disorders.. ect..

Its a way people deal with what's going on emotionally inside of them.

And no, it doesn't mean you have autism.

But you have recognised their is an issue and IF you did speak to some one about it you absolutely would not be the first person to discuss self harm. If you did talk to a professional - which you can do online now though zoom it makes it a bit more real and you can actually set time to deal with it.

If you dont really fancy that there will be podcasts, books, lots of online help to help you move forward with stopping yourself from doing this Flowers

theriverrunsthrough · 04/12/2021 22:56

And I want to add, when I was a lot younger and went through some tough stuff, I punched walls (broke my hand) smashed up things, its a physical response to an emotional energy release.

Have a look at why that emotional energy is there and what you can do to heal it

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