Overheard conversations that make you think wtf

[MarmitesMyMate]

Sat in cafe on own today waiting for my friend.
A very loud girl and mum talking right next to me.

Girl. Well what's he gonna do? Michelle is 7m pregnant and he has got the other one pregnant now too!
Mum : no idea but I'm going to have to try and support them in anyway I can. Those babies are still my grandkids no matter what he's done
Girl: well he told me if Michelle gives him a boy hell stay with Michelle.
Mum. That boy drives me to the brink of despair!

You know when you shouldn't listen but can't help it.
But I keep thinking that poor pregnant lady who is 7m pregnant and her partner is only planning to stay if its a boy!
And the poor other woman too

I heard this once, from a woman walking through town behind me. it's a bit gross
"so there were rose petals all over the bed, but by the time we'd finished it looked like I'd had my period everywhere."

Teenage girl on train to mum: “She’s saying he raped her and he had to have a meeting with the police and he’s really scared about what’s going to happen but she told me she’s only saying it get her own back on him for dumping her.”
Mum: “Best stay out of it.”
Me: 😱

So many worlds destroyed before even starting just because of this shelfish man.
What I first thought about is that those babies and mums may end up not having a relationship with that granma and aunty just because of his behaviour. And they sound caring.
The luckiest mum will be the one getting rid of him!

“But it’s alright, they’re using condoms”
Overheard one afternoon outside DCs primary school waiting to collect.

Some years ago, Christmas Eve about 5pm, I saw a stressed man holding a small boy's hand and walking very fast through the town centre. As they got closer to me I heard him say "Well, what do YOU think Mummy wants for Christmas?"
Oh dear. Poor Mummy

The funniest one I heard. I was at my old job again lunch in a cafe. There was an older teen Her mum and nan.
Caught tale enod of the conversation about ladies maintaining themselfs.
The nan piped up to the other 2 and said. Well once you get to my age there's no need to shave your fanny!
The poor teen was like.. Nan! Shh did u have to tell us that? And so loudly!

I once overheard a man of around 60 talking on his mobile while browsing tampons in a shop. He was asking questions such as ‘how long do you think she will be staying with me?’ So they were clearly for a guest or something, but I couldn’t figure out what the fuck it was all about

@MarmitesMyMate

The funniest one I heard. I was at my old job again lunch in a cafe. There was an older teen Her mum and nan. Caught tale enod of the conversation about ladies maintaining themselfs. The nan piped up to the other 2 and said. Well once you get to my age there's no need to shave your fanny! The poor teen was like.. Nan! Shh did u have to tell us that? And so loudly!

I love that nan

Riding on a long distance bus. A couple of teenagers sitting behind us.
Boy: "Shall I show you how to make a cocktail? Take a swig of this orange juice, a swig of this vodka and swirl it around in your mouth like mouth-wash."
I believe that cocktail is called a screwdriver, but not the most elegant setting for it.

I know! I want to be that embarrassing nan when I'm older haha

In my local corner shop..

Shop assistant says to woman: I hear congratulations are in order

Woman: eh?

Shop assistant: I hear you and Steve got engaged

Woman: yeah we did but now he's going to prison so I don't see the fucking point now

@BadSpellaSpellaSpella

In my local corner shop..

Shop assistant says to woman: I hear congratulations are in order

Woman: eh?

Shop assistant: I hear you and Steve got engaged

Woman: yeah we did but now he's going to prison so I don't see the fucking point now

I am cracking up 🤣

While picking up my wedding dress I overheard another bride's bridesmaids talking and laughing about how they'd all slept with the groom at some point, and whether it would be funny to include it in their speeches "when it's too late for her to be angry"

In hospital just having given birth, woman across from me in the phone ‘ yeah it’s great news, he’s been in for 8 weeks and just got out today, so he’s on his way to meet his daughter.’ Then ‘no it was for drink driving’
So I try not to judge obviously… then he arrives later. She says ‘where have you been I thought you got out this morning?’
His response…. ‘I went to the pub then I couldn’t find anywhere to park.’ 🙈

Walking behind 2 women who were looking in a high end boutique shop window

'Ooh Jean that's nice, it'll look lovely on you'!
'Oh no! I'm far too bloody old to wear that, I'm a pissing pensioner now not a fucking fashionista Rita'

@ThreeWiseBuddhas

Walking behind 2 women who were looking in a high end boutique shop window

'Ooh Jean that's nice, it'll look lovely on you'!
'Oh no! I'm far too bloody old to wear that, I'm a pissing pensioner now not a fucking fashionista Rita'

this made me laugh so much

@ThreeWiseBuddhas

Walking behind 2 women who were looking in a high end boutique shop window

'Ooh Jean that's nice, it'll look lovely on you'!
'Oh no! I'm far too bloody old to wear that, I'm a pissing pensioner now not a fucking fashionista Rita'

I love this!

Woman on the phone in the post office: how should I know how long she'll be overdue with him Steven? But if he's owt like you it'll be 10 months of getting fat and 30 years of misery afterwards'

Ouch!!