Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Husband going into hyperdrive when workmen are around.

130 replies

DidgeDoolittle · 02/12/2021 12:06

Does anyone else's husband do this?

My husband has worked in an office all his life. He's average at diy but we do need to get workmen in occasionally.
When a workman is imminent he goes into headless chicken, hyper drive mode. He's up at the crack of dawn making sure everything is out of the way and perfect for said workman. He couldn't possibly be caught still in his pjs. The disgrace.
When man arrives, husband goes up a gear. There's lots of " yeah mate, yeah mate, I'm sure you'll be using your blah blah blah on that". It's like he's a different person, eager to impress the manly man that has entered his domain. My kids ( now adults) take the piss something terrible. He gets very bad tempered.

He's just refused to help me unload a massive supermarket shop as he's 'assisting' ( distracting) a neighbour with manly garden things. This is top priority and cannot be interfered with in any way.

Anyone else have a partner that does this?

OP posts:
OhWhyNot · 02/12/2021 15:51

Grin love the typo

We often have workman in at work and male colleagues get all blokey

And why do so many men turn into geezers when discussing football Confused

Anythingbutsnow · 02/12/2021 16:23

My husband does this at KFC drive through too. For ages I thought he had a mate called Howard that worked there. But he was actually asking for a wicked zinger box Towered , just in a voice that sounded like he was best mates with whoever was behind the microphone.

AffIt · 02/12/2021 16:38

My very lovely, but very white-collar/soft hands OH doesn't do it with tradies (I handle that side of life, he hides in the bedroom), but he DOES have a very specific voice for taxi drivers.

I have really enjoyed this thread, I actually thought it was just him. Grin

AffIt · 02/12/2021 16:40

The weirdest thing is that he's not incompetent (my also-lovely FiL was a stonemason and OH worked as a labourer as a student).

Maybe it's a kind of a class embarrassment thing? Dunno. It's quite funny anyhoo.

SmallBoyFury · 02/12/2021 16:49

@Anythingbutsnow

My husband does this at KFC drive through too. For ages I thought he had a mate called Howard that worked there. But he was actually asking for a wicked zinger box Towered , just in a voice that sounded like he was best mates with whoever was behind the microphone.
Grin
SequinnedShawl · 02/12/2021 16:55

@Anythingbutsnow

I used to be an engineer visiting people's holes and I found most men to be exactly like this! To be honest I'm abit like it myself aswell.
👀
Original poster
DidgeDoolittle · 02/12/2021 17:12

@Skeumorph

Alphfaux male has to go in the dictionary Grin
Definitely. It's a brilliant description.
OP posts:
BeaMends · 02/12/2021 17:15

Fortunately not! I have a DH whose skills do not extend to home improvements of any sort other than screwing flat-pack furniture together.

Stiffcondomhat · 02/12/2021 17:19

My dad was like this, always addressed tradesmen as "chief" or "squire". Highly amusing.2

trickyex · 02/12/2021 17:31

Hilarious thread.
My ex DH also uses 'chief' and 'squire' but with friends as well as trades.

Alphfaux male is pure gold...

Original poster
DidgeDoolittle · 02/12/2021 17:41

I told my dh about this thread. Sort of had to as I was sniggering a lot. He's now sulking and denying all knowledge of his matey alter ego.

OP posts:
RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 02/12/2021 17:44

DH is the opposite. He's an office worker (albeit a techie nerd Wink) but has little practical knowledge above changing a fuse or wiring a plug. On the odd occasion a workman tries to impart any information he gets a 'deer in the headlights' look about him and just nods in case said workman might realise that DH has no idea what he's being told.

Therefore any time we get a man in, he will be out of the house. TBH all I know about any trade is to furnish them with a hot drink as soon as possible and then look impressed when they show me what they've done. Grin

Unescorted · 02/12/2021 18:04

It isn't just in their own home... I visit a lot of sites with men who spend most of their time in the office. They all do Bloke as soon as they put PPE on.

peboh · 02/12/2021 18:05

My DH is a hoverer. He's an engineer, but seems to also think this means he knows everything about all diy, so he hovers and makes suggestions. He means well, but I just want to whack him around the head and tell him to sit down and shut up hahah.

squashyhat · 02/12/2021 18:11

@Flockameanie

Not quite, but DH has a 'special voice' he uses only with tradesmen and taxi drivers. It's a bit 'awight mate'. He's always done it and I've always mercilessly taken the piss out of him for it.
Yup. Mine too. And the word "buddy" enters his vocabulary for the duration of the job, only to mysteriously vanish again once the workman leaves.
fakereview · 02/12/2021 18:11

My DH doesn't do this (although we've got someone coming to look at our shower tomorrow and he wanted to clean the bathroom - I said no - just leave it - it's really not that bad).

However, when he's talking about being in a care home in his dotage he always puts on an Eastenders accent. He is from South London but why would everyone talk like they were an extra in Eastenders because they were in a care home.

fakereview · 02/12/2021 18:12

@BeaMends

Fortunately not! I have a DH whose skills do not extend to home improvements of any sort other than screwing flat-pack furniture together.
Same here although he can do decorating as well. And he fitted a new loo seat today.
MrsMadderRose · 02/12/2021 18:20

Oh god this brings back memories!

My ex was shit at DIY, I did pretty much all of it and the most he would ever do was "help" a bit if really needed. He was fine with me doing it all.

But if we ever had a man in to do any it was all alpha male strutting, "mate", manly chit chats and trying to sound like he knew what he was talking about. Hmm

The worst ever was when a male friend of mine - no romantic history at all or anything like that - came to stay and saw we had a play table thing in the garden waiting to be put together for toddler DS. Friend offered to do it and I happily accepted as I was busy. Ex would never have lifted a finger to do it it in a month of Sundays but as soon as my friend started in it he couldn't leave it alone. Hopping about, strutting, opining, knowing better than friend about it all, being a total PITA "Hyperdrive" is a great description! Friend is v v practical, ignored him and had it up in 20 mins.

Almostmenopausal · 02/12/2021 18:38

@bollocksthemess

Mine is the opposite! Last week I had to remove him from the bed as the plasterers had arrived at 8am and needed the plug socket in our room to be able to start. He leaves dealing with any tradesmen to me, and would prefer not to speak to them at all. He tends to hide in one room if people come round to do quotes and he can’t engineer a reason to be out of the house. It’s bizarre really, as he deals with contractors and building things for his work, but wants no part of it in the house.
Sounds like he's worried/emnarrassed about being seen by a tradesmen he knows. Could he be embarrassed by your home or the area you live in???
echt · 02/12/2021 20:05

@OhWhyNot

Grin love the typo

We often have workman in at work and male colleagues get all blokey

And why do so many men turn into geezers when discussing football Confused

This made me think of the IT Crowd and manly speaking;
Glassofshloer · 02/12/2021 20:23

Haha this has made me laugh. No DH doesn’t do it, but nods even when I’m pretty sure he has no idea what they’re talking about.

Dancingsmile · 02/12/2021 20:30

Poor fiberoptic guy installing it outside. Nextdoor neighbour stood over him arms crossed, giving guidance for the entire time he was down the manhole. I could hear him through the double glazing shouting instructions. Are men that stupid that they think their words of wisdom are useful ?

HighlandCowbag · 02/12/2021 20:34

My dh is a builder. Fucker won't do anything at home. I get a man in to do manly diy shit. Dh tries to micromanage without A. Having a fucking clue what I want doing and B. Without meeting said DIY man.

Unless it's a joiner cos joiners are Skilled and Technical men and we shouldn't tell granny how to suck eggs.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 02/12/2021 20:37

Now that you mention it YES Grin having workmen does seem to up his testosterone somehow? However recently we had estate agents over and he made them take their shoes off, which we don't really do as we have floorboards. They were checking out the garden in their socks Blush

Hoppinggreen · 02/12/2021 20:43

@Flockameanie

Not quite, but DH has a 'special voice' he uses only with tradesmen and taxi drivers. It's a bit 'awight mate'. He's always done it and I've always mercilessly taken the piss out of him for it.
Oh my God My DH does this too. Once when we had a load of wood delivered and the man had a special crane type thing. My MC nerdy IT consultant husband suddenly turned into a Northern caricature of Handy Andy