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Original poster

We don't have space for this

13 replies

Wenjie · 02/12/2021 06:16

I live with my kids in a one bedroom. The presents from my mother-in-law arrived, and the boxes are huge. One had a picture on the box and it's an enormous dollhouse for my youngest son. I'm so anxious about these boxes. What do we do about gifts that we don't have the space to keep?

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 02/12/2021 06:19

Firstly ask if they have receipts to return them, as you have no room to accommodate the presents, and ask for small presents in future. Yes, you’re going to sound ungrateful but you have to nip this in the bud now.
If not, drop them off at a charity shop/food bank or free cycle them.

TipseyTorvey · 02/12/2021 06:19

Just tell her, give her the chance to return and get her money back. Her wishes to give big presents don't trump your requirements to be able to move about freely in your own home for the next 2 years or so. If she won't return them, do it yourself or sell them on ebay and buy the dc something more suitable.

Mittenmob · 02/12/2021 06:23

In the in past I've

  • said "this is a present that loves at granny's house!"
  • said "I know you like this but if we sell it we can use the money to buy [something better and smaller]"
  • wait for a few weeks and discretely put it in the garage and hope they never ask about it again.
Mittenmob · 02/12/2021 06:24

If you can get to them before DC see then I'd go with the refund idea first.

purplesequins · 02/12/2021 06:26

ask if you can return the gifts.
if she will not have it consider selling or donating to charities.

BarbaraofSeville · 02/12/2021 06:37

Sod worrying about being seen as rude and ungrateful. She's 1-0 up already in the rude count by sending a massive toy to someone who lives in a small house. Who does that?

Also seems strange that she's sent presents this early with no consultation with you? Do you and DC see her? Wouldn't the normal thing to do be her to give DS his gift on or around Christmas?

Is there a backstory/relationship issue? You say 'I live with DC' but then call her your MIL, are you separated from DCs father/her DS?

Agree with either asking to return it or saying that it has to live at Granny's house and he can play with it when you all go to see her options.

Minceandonions · 02/12/2021 06:39

You need to make it clear what is acceptable for them to buy next year, and remind them as you approach Christmas. When we lived in a small flat with no storage, I asked all of our parents for 'consumables' (chocolate, wine, scented candles, fancy olive oil etc) so that once its gone I didn't have to store it.
They were confused, saying "But wouldn't you like this..." and "But wouldn't you like that..." but they got there in the end.

Thegreencup · 02/12/2021 06:46

If you want to remain civil, ask that it is kept at their house. It's probably what they're hinting at anyway.

If you're not arsed, tell them it's for too big and to take it back.

We've had the same issue with the in laws every year buying huge present sacks of plastic tat from cheap shops. That wasn't what the kids liked and didn't last two minutes under the hands of two young kids. Even DH has told them to "stop buying so much crap". The final straw was when the inlaws actually bought DS2 the same game for his birthday two years in a row.DH bluntly told them to buy clothes or just stop wasting their money.

Original poster
Wenjie · 02/12/2021 06:48

@BarbaraofSeville I live with DH, too! Sorry, I shouldn't have excluded him. She lives far away, so we haven't seen each other in person for years, but my eight year old daughter calls her often and puts us all on video to chat. I'm wondering if she consulted my eight year old on what to buy instead of the adults. Confused

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 02/12/2021 07:06

Is it possible to return or exchange the items? If they've come from a UK retailer, I would have thought at least they'd let you return them for credit to be spent on smaller items for DC?

I do think you need to be honest with her. In a one bed with at least two DC, you need to be ruthless with possessions. Her money would be better spent on experiences like a membership to an attraction you can keep going to - Merlin passes or whatever, than toys that you don't have space for.

quitecrunchy · 02/12/2021 08:11

This is my pet peeve and I live in a 3 bed so this would annoy the hell out of me. You'll have to tell her or it'll end up happening every birthday and Christmas.

BleuJay · 02/12/2021 08:49

All of the above about not being able to receive large presents and instead could she buy tickets for an event like a panto with her that the children have experiences and time spent with her rather than your living quarters being filled with toys.

Original poster
Wenjie · 02/12/2021 15:49

@BarbaraofSeville Ruthless with possessions is a good way to put it. My husband said he'd talk to them about returning them. Which is better than his first plan of "let the kids open them on Christmas and then we'll get rid of what we can't keep."

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