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Life advice needed PLEASE

2 replies

needabreaknow21 · 29/11/2021 19:16

I've changed username for this and have put it here for pure traffic volume! So apologies. Feel at breaking point. Started a new job a year ago, part time hours. I hadn't worked for 10 years, did a degree halfway through that, youngest has ASD, eldest is on pathway, currently year 10 and is not looking to come our with any quals, being offered alternatives though. School are, eventually, being really helpful, we have one particular teacher who has his back completely and is absolutely his advocate in school. Middle child is typical middle child, very intelligent yet stroppy, feels hard done by and is in all honesty pushed to the side more often than not. I feel constant guilt. I'm a single parent and have been for years. I've had two promotions since starting my job and am now managerial level at full time plus hours. I love my job but members of my team don't seem to do their jobs properly and there are always excuses being made for them by higher up management. My house is an absolute dive. I share a bedroom with my youngest so my two oldest can have their own. She has no floor space to play anywhere as I just don't have time to tidy up enough. There is clutter and mess everywhere. As soon as I finish work at 5.30 I am straight into housework. I also have a physical disability which means I have weakness in my limbs and fall often. My confidence has taken a huge dive and I don't leave the house anymore. I can't even get the courage to leave the house, I work from home 80% of the time. I was so confident before but a desk job has seen me like the weight on, four stones in the last year. I'm huge. I've cried on and off for a week now. I had a day off last week due to a virus and slept the whole time. I'm constantly exhausted and lacking motivation. I feel fed up and I really don't know what to do. I can't afford to drop back down to my old job. I haven't even called tax credits and told them that I'm in my new one so I know I already owe at least 1k in overpayment, I just couldn't afford to lose the money. I'm terrified if I go on sick it will affect this job and any future ones. I've applied for something else and given my quals Nd now experience I'd say it's likely I get an interview at least, although I am awful at them and my current manager acknowledges this! She's lovely and completely right though. I just feel at breaking point and I don't know what to do. I can't even make decisions anymore. I do everything on my own with barely any support or physical help. I just don't know what I do or how to do it.

OP posts:
SpaceshiptoMars · 29/11/2021 20:26

Have a hug BrewFlowers

How easy do you find it to ask for help? Do you have any family nearby?
Do your company provide any management training, and have they given you any?

Congratulations on the degree, the promotions, and on keeping all the plates spinning in the airSmile

jackiebenimble · 29/11/2021 20:46

Do you claim anything you are entitled to regarding disabilities?

How old are the kids? How much do they help you? Even children from 5 ages upwards can help with some basic tasks like unpacking shopping bags. And putting toys away. Even putting laundry in and out of a laundry basket.

It doesn't sound like you have money a plenty. However, is there anything you can sell to get a one off deep clean done. And you then can maintain. Can you take two half days annual leave or even sick to get on top of things.

Can you use any annual leave and all the bank holidays over xmas to have a big declutter and streamline all possessions. To make your home as simple to clean and maintain and live in as possible. Sometimes when i have been overwhelmed i have sorted one drawer a day. But slowly you get through it.

When overwhelmed its all about breaking things down into small achievable tasks.

Do you think you could have any depression or anxiety which needs treating?

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