Will anyone else spend Christmas without their kids? DS will be with his dad

[ChristmasThyme]

Name changed for this.

Wrote a really long post out but deleted it all, but basically ds will be with his dad from 23rd-28th December. We will do Christmas on the 29th. I’ve finished all my Christmas shopping today but I’ve come to bed feeling really deflated and sad. We rotate every year, normally ds comes back/goes his ddads on Boxing Day but this year they’re going away till the 28th as exdp is 40 on Christmas Day. He’ll have the best time but I feel really really sad I’m missing out on this time with him. I’ll keep busy and have got plans so it’s not like I’m sat in the house alone but it’s horrible to think I won’t be waking up with his on Christmas Day. Roll on next year when it’s my turn again

Oh that sounds really tough. Really tough. How old is DS? I'm not so sure it is reasonable for his dad to take him off for a week over Christmas, birthday or no birthday.
DS will obviously miss you very much

Pressed post too soon 🙈

Anyway, is anyone else in the same boat? I always knew this was the pay off for splitting with exdp and that’s fine but I think because he’s gone for so long plus I think this will be the last year he believes in Santa so the last time putting out bill and cookies and wondering if ‘he’s been….’. It’s just so hard. I’ll be spending Christmas with my lovely DP and our families, plus I’m working a few days so I’ll be busy. I’ve got loads of Christmas things booked and I’ll have him all of new year but tonight I’m feeling really sorry for myself and for ds, although I know he’ll have the most magical time

He’s 9 in January. I wish I’d never said yes to the holiday 😢. He asked me last year if it would be ok, all of his family are going, including his other child (ds’s brother) who DS adores. DS is really looking forward to it, the cottage has a hot tub and a games room, ds has spent hours looking it up online so I can’t say no now, he’ll be gutted. But I’ve just been reading a thread about the lovely parts of Christmas and it’s really upset me 😢

Your DS will have a great time.
At 9 it will be about the event of Xmas ( not about the family not there)
Find a way for you to make peace with his family on both sides

I'm in this situation. The added kicker is that exDP barely sees DD all year. Maybe every couple of months if that, doesn't pay any maintenance but wants alternate Xmas to be Disney Dad. The family are on hand to take care of her so he doesn't have to put himself out, the poor pet.

I put up with it because DD adores him and loves Christmas with her cousins. No other children in my family so it's a bit boring for her with all the grown-ups.

I tell myself it's just a day and I relish getting a bit of alone time too. Hope you don't feel too sad over it all and you find ways to make before and after fun.

@NoToast

I'm in this situation. The added kicker is that exDP barely sees DD all year. Maybe every couple of months if that, doesn't pay any maintenance but wants alternate Xmas to be Disney Dad. The family are on hand to take care of her so he doesn't have to put himself out, the poor pet.

I put up with it because DD adores him and loves Christmas with her cousins. No other children in my family so it's a bit boring for her with all the grown-ups.

I tell myself it's just a day and I relish getting a bit of alone time too. Hope you don't feel too sad over it all and you find ways to make before and after fun.

I have the same with DD's dad, barely sees her all year, cancels more times than not, rarely pays child support but insists on having her Xmas eve, day and boxing day every other year. He would agree to a phone call and then on the day, block me so I couldn't speak to her. Twat. DD is 11 now and has her own phone, I think last year she video called me about once an hour, bless her. Its my year this year thank goodness.

It's easier for me because I have a 4 Yr old with my current DP so that takes the edge off as I still do the Christmas traditions with my child but I do miss her. Before that, I used to just try not to dwell on it, enjoy the time with my family, stay off of social media so I wasn't comparing what other families were doing and focus on our special day together once she got home.

OP I’m in a blended family and I found that thread hard too. I started reading it because I love Christmas though! Comparison is the Thief of joy and all that. You’re being a great parent, putting him first and for us ‘Christmas’ is the whole school hol really as we don’t get everyone in one place so see family in a staggered way (and that’s fine!)