Does forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to make you depressed?

[Starspangledrodeo]

I’m struggling, we’ve had an awful year as a family and nothing seems to be improving yet. I really don’t want to do my job anymore but because of the benefits it makes sense to continue with it.

Would forcing myself to do something I really don’t want to anymore i.e. stay in my job contribute to the fact I’m struggling to cope?

For me it makes a huge difference whether I feel like I'm making a conscious choice and have some agency/ a way out I can use if things get too bad, or whether I feel trapped and unable to influence the situation. In your place I would probably put a Plan B down on paper (just for myself) and regularly check in with myself on whether I need to change course. I hope things get better for you soon OP!

Of course disliking your job would contribute massively to low feelings. We spend most of our lives at work, it can be quite tedious even at the best of times. I think on the whole few people genuinely enjoy their job, e.g. I like mine but were it not that I need to pay my bills I'd be out of there like a shot. Can you start looking at your options? Is it something specific about the job or do you feel a general unease about the direction or lack thereof of your life?

I do have a potential plan B, I could work part time in the family business for a while which is kind of related to what I do. This would give me the opportunity to have more time to myself and if it didn’t work I could look for another job I guess.

The thing is there aren’t many opportunities where I live and I’d never get a job at the same level or with the same benefits as I have now and that’s what’s stopping me I think. That and my employers have been incredibly supportive of everything I’ve been through and I feel like I “owe” them.

Sometimes forcing yourself to do something can help, like seeing a friend or going for a walk or getting some things ticked off your to do list, but yes a job you hate is going make you miserable and contribute to depression.

That said, I'm struggling with a bereavement atm and finding work really hard, far too much trouble iyswim, but I recognise that it's not really the job. The employers have been great, the job when I'm feeling myself is fine and the money is good. I think the usual advice is not to make any big decisions within 12 months of big life events.

That rings true about work being far too much trouble @AndMatt, I feel like I could cope with everything else far better if I didn’t have to contend with work as well. I had to take 2 months off in the summer. I’d never in my life been signed off before and now I’m wondering if I’m getting to the point of needing to take time off again. The trouble is it’s out busiest time in work and I’d be dumping on my colleagues if I did.

I’m just so tired and just need a rest as much as anything I think.

I meant to add sorry for you loss

@Starspangledrodeo

That rings true about work being far too much trouble *@AndMatt*, I feel like I could cope with everything else far better if I didn’t have to contend with work as well. I had to take 2 months off in the summer. I’d never in my life been signed off before and now I’m wondering if I’m getting to the point of needing to take time off again. The trouble is it’s out busiest time in work and I’d be dumping on my colleagues if I did.

I’m just so tired and just need a rest as much as anything I think.

This is exactly how I'm feeling!

I have never actually had a medical certificate in my life, work gave me time as compassionate leave before, but I think I have decided I'm going to ask to be signed off until Christmas.

I do feel guilty for what it means for colleagues and work have been great, but if I can be fully functioning for January, it will be better than me doing half a job not very well in the meantime.

I'm also finding the buzz around this Christmas really hard. I understand it, I'm pleased for everyone making lovely plans, but I can't deal with hearing about it all the time .

Only 2 weeks of my 2 months were medical, I used up all my annual leave and then I took unpaid leave.

If anyone else was asking for advice in my position I’d tell them to get signed off in the first place. Though I feel such a mixed sense of obligation and guilt combined with pressure I put on myself that I shouldn’t get signed off that I can’t bring myself to do it.