Ungrateful husband

[faithfulbird20]

My husband is so ungrateful. I budget our money so we save money. However he ends up sending money to his family (parents, sisters, nieces etc). It leads to arguments. How do I stop feeling guilty if I buy good things for my kids. They're not even expensive but I have guilt.

Is he from a culture where it is expected that men will financially support their parents and female relatives?

Can you afford to do this, as well as covering all your household expenses and joint savings?

If so, you budget for essentials, discretionary family expenses, annual and irregular expenses like Christmas, insurance, emergency fund etc etc and split what's left 50/50 between you and him so you both have a pot of money to do with as you wish. He can use this to help his relatives, you can spend or save yours as you see fit.

If you can't afford to do that, you have to have a conversation about how to make the money work without detriment to you or your DC in favour of his relatives.

Just to be clear, essentials and treats for the DC come out of joint money, not your share of the free money, them being jointly your DC obviously.