Does anyone spend a lot of time alone ?

[WheatlandTerrier]

Single mum of 4 year old. I work 4 days and love me colleagues. However, I spend alot of time alone or with my child. Been let down at 10pm last night by a friend who was meant to come tonight. I understand but it brings home I spend alot of time alone.

Yes. I work from home, but see my colleague (one other woman) about once a month. I don't go out or socialise and don't really have any friends (not any that I see on person). My husband and children are the only people I see. My parents every few months.

I've stopped making the effort with alot of people. I just can't be arsed.

Tikky do you live with your husband?

It’s hard OP I’ve lived with dc only for over a decade, and since my youngest left home to move for his career I’ve been quite unbelievably lonely.

It’s harder on the long cold winter evenings too imho. Others just want to stay home so you end up without plans to see people.

I try to stay positive and make more plans to see people soon, also usually drink too much wine 🤷‍♀️

I don’t know the answer, but you’re not alone in your aloneness OP and I agree it’s shit!

I spend a lot of time alone, son's live away and divorced 10 years.
I do alone pretty well now, since covid started I have got better at it and could easily fill my time.
I think it is about acceptance for me, not thinking, 'what can I do this weekend...where can I go?'

It goes with the territory of being a single parent with a young child, unfortunately. The child needs an early bedtime and a stable routine, so your evenings are spent at home. If you don't have family who will babysit, the cost of a babysitter means you just can't go out very often.

I make the best of it by seeing friends during the day (mine as well as DS's), and chatting on the phone in the evening. But I am overdue for a lot of fun nights out.

It is difficult. I’m married with a young child now, but I was well into my thirties when I met now-DH, and in all honesty my twenties and thirties were very lonely as a result, as most friends coupled up and especially when they started to have children I found I spent time alone as a default

I do, yes. My partner works shifts so is often ether asleep or working in the evenings and weekends. No kids.

I have a very close group of four friends since school, in recent years three have moved away, two abroad and one 200 miles away. We message and Skype a lot but can go for months without seeing each other face to face,

I see my parents once a month ish, and my sister and her 2 kids about the same,

I work from home now, which I like. I’m not that social, and enjoy my own company luckily. I’m on my own most of the time, but tbh, I am happy and not out to change that.

I can gey babysitters but then people cancel so I don't bother. I had to text her and she told me she wasn't coming at 10pm last night

Yes. I work with a lot of people but I'm alone 95% of my days off and holidays. I'm in a pub by myself as I type this!

Yes, but I usually like it that way...

Yes, I hear you. DH died nearly 5 years ago, DC are a bit older but eldest is having a lot of problems and runs me ragged until 10pm most nights. My company wants us to work from home mostly still so I’m only in the office once a week. Bad combination of no adult company at all nearly every day and no time to do anything I want to do either.

Sending

Yes, I’m almost always alone in my free time. I see a friend maybe once a month. It gets to me a lot, I would love a busier social life but everyone is caught up in family life and they are so busy.

@WheatlandTerrier

Single mum of 4 year old. I work 4 days and love me colleagues. However, I spend alot of time alone or with my child. Been let down at 10pm last night by a friend who was meant to come tonight. I understand but it brings home I spend alot of time alone.

I mean this gently, but you do not live alone, you have a child. I'm not suggesting it's any compensation for lack of adult company, just a fact.

I'm a single mum, one dc, and wfh three days a week. I spend a lot of time alone or on here.

It can be a bit lonely but I try to make the most of my two days in the office, and spend my spare evenings cooking, reading, diy etc in the winter. As well as encouraging ds with homework.

In the summer, light evenings mean we are out cycling or walking until late. Everyone I know works until 6, and have dc to see to so weekday evenings aren't really practical.

When ds was 5 we started a karate class that was midweek evening. It got us out of the house and made some new friends. Could you look for something like that?

"I mean this gently, but you do not live alone, you have a child. I'm not suggesting it's any compensation for lack of adult company, just a fact."

She doesn't say she lives alone though, only that she spends a lot of her time alone OR with her child

I'm a single mum to 2 girls as dh died 5 months ago. I spend a lot of my time feeling lonely or actually alone when they go to thier dads. I'm aware I don't live alone.

It's can still be incredibly isolating living without another adult in the house even if you do have children.im struggling with this at the moment myself.

I was hugely relieved when schools went back and I was teaching in the classroom again, hanging out in the staffroom actually chatting to people. My tweens are slowly becoming better 'company' but I 100% get you op. I have the Radio on a lot, R4.. Adults talking about important or interesting things, not random crap about Minecraft! Also, mumsnet to be honest, it's adult conversation. AIBU and Chat boards are busy and replies come almost instantly so it can be like a conversation.

Yes hughackmanswife I am you! Teacher here, I enjoy staffroom chat. I listen to radio 4 all the time. Single parent with 2 tweens. Always alone... its the total lack of affection and being touched by another human that is destroying me. Evenings are worst. Haha haircut the other day. To be touched by another person, cared for, just for an hour was lovely. Its v v lonely....

Signoramarella I will admi I do have a 'partner' but he's very much arms length, don't cohabit and only see each other 1-2 times a week, rarely overnight. I don't want to blend families or go down that road at all. I miss being married (not my ex though). OP I know it sounds cheesy but try to do something other than TV a few nights a week. Puzzles, knitting, making models, reading, anything that feels creative and like you've DONE something. If I just watch TV, even if it's a good box set I always go to bed feeling a bit 'meh'. Also I drink wine and eat cheese more when watching TV 😕

I guess COVID makes it harder too.

I was coming on here to suggest doing things at the school where you can meet people but in a way that, should your little one be unwell or something, they will understand.

Things like helping with reading, or the Governors (if they meet in school day, some dont) or helping in some of the groups your little one attends. For all.these good ideas, I'm guessing COVID has run a steam train through most of them?