If your dc are with their df on Christmas Day....

[PuddingOfTheXmasType]

This year is the first year that our dc will spend much of Christmas with their df. He is collecting them around midday on Christmas Day and returning them on the 27th.

My dc are 9,10 and 15 so they're not babies.

I was thinking of having 'my' Christmas Day with them on the 24th, presents, dinner etc. But I'm torn as then their Christmas Eve would be the 23rd

I just feel it would be very rushed for them to open presents from me in the morning then straight to their dads. Admittedly, if I did the dinner/ presents etc on Christmas Eve I feel is more for my benefit.

Does it matter? What would you do?

Christmas Eve

I would do your Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve and presents in the evening. Then maybe a couple of presents "from santa" under the tree on Christmas morning then off to their Dads.

When I dared to leave my exh his punishment in part was to refuse me any contact with dc at xmas..
So Santa left a note he would be coming the eve of the 23th instead.. We had the whole shebang..
They were younger than yours but it went down amazing..
Except with exh... He blew a blood vessel I am certain.
Why not have Xmas dinner Xmas eve and then stockings out and a proper Xmas morning on the 25th?

I'm going to go against the grain a bit here. If it's the first time he's been allowed Christmas Day with them, it seems a bit mean to do a full Christmas Day meal the day before meaning they'll be stuffed full and sick of turkey by the time they get to his.

I'd absolutely do "Christmas Day" before hand, with all the presents etc. But I'd either have a gap (e.g.) do Christmas on the 21st / 22nd. Or do something different but still exciting food wise.

I have two step DDs and no way would they want Christmas dinner two days on the trot. We do ours a week earlier which they love.

I’d do Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve, then maintain existing traditions you have (putting stockings out etc).

Small, tasty breakfast and stocking opening on Christmas Day.

We alternated Christmasses so my children either came home or left at 3pm on Christmas Day. I much preferred the latter as we had all the build up to Christmas plus the dinner then I got time to tidy up, watch television and eat chocolate! I did not enjoy waking up by myself on Christmas Day then hanging around waiting for them to come back.

My DD alternates Christmas between mine and her DF house. We take turns and either have Christmas Day or Boxing Day. Whatever day we have tho, we don’t repeat xmas dinner. Ie, Christmas dinner is In Christmas Day. Boxing Day dinner is whatever our traditions are for that day.

In your situation, if this is going to be an every other year thing: I def wouldn’t do Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. Like PP have said, it’ll spoil dinner for the next day. I’d create a Christmas Eve tradition that I would carry on every alt year, something like a takeaway or cold meats, whatever you fancy/

Thanks for the replies

Although it's not our first Christmas separated, it is the first Christmas where ex is having the dc for dinner on Christmas Day and then for a few days after. Previously he would come to ours and we'd do it all together, then the dc would go to his on Boxing Day. I certainly don't want to take any of the 'fun' away from his Christmas Day, and I hadn't thought of it tbh.

The dc love a Christmas dinner but I'd prob do a wellington / take away / pub dinner rather than a big bird if I do it on Christmas Eve

I like the Christmas breakfast/ stocking gifts on Christmas Day idea too

I’d do it on Christmas Eve. Take them out for a nice lunch/get a lovely meal you all like and do presents in the afternoon.

You can get any Christmas Eve bits done in the morning and then have the whole Christmas afternoon. In the morning do a nice big breakfast, have Father Christmas Stockings and off to Dad they go.

XH is having DC11 & 10 for the first time in 5y. Court ordered (he never asked for them before....) He will collect Christmas Eve and return NYE.

In order to avoid any rush, we are having Christmas Eve on Sunday 19, Christmas Day Monday 20, where they can open their gifts and they can have a full week to enjoy.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and we will change it next time. We will be having Christmas lunch over several days, going for walks, playing with new toys, and carol singing. I don't know how Christmas will look with their 'D'F, so the aim is to make it really relaxed and exciting for that first week, rather than rushed, we don't want them to feel like they've had to abandon their new stuff.

We did presents on Christmas Eve one year for logistical reasons and it was great - it's the best day of the season anyway.

Do it in the evening - light a fire if you have one, have candles, tree lights, make sure everyone has their favourite drink, bowls of nibbles - and do presents then have a special dinner. In the morning do stockings and something nice for breakfast and send them off with a smile knowing that no one has missed out.

Go continental!

We do a mix of that. My family are European anyway so we always did a bit of a mix so now DC have a late lunch on Xmas eve with me and then when it gets dark we do the main presents and play games, build toys etc into the evening. Then they put the carrots out for the reindeer and on Xmas morning have the stocking and go over to dads.

It's great fun waiting for it to get dark so you can "light the tree" and start the presents.

I head to friends for my Christmas lunch and all are happy!

I think given their ages, having another Christmas on the 24th isn't too much of a problem as I'm guessing they don't believe in Santa now, although I do agree that it ruins the anticipation a bit and makes Christmas Eve another manic day rather than that magical lead-up.

I often think of this for my own SCs as they usually always celebrate on Christmas Eve with one of their parents, but I remember my own Christmas Eves as a child as just being a lovely day of excitement and anticipation.

BUT every situation is different and I never had to move between homes, I'm sure if I did I would have loved having 2 Christmases :) And they can still have all that anticipation on 23rd :)

I suppose the only other alternative would be to do it on the 27th? But I totally appreciate it all might feel a bit over & done with by then.

I would do a cosy Christmas eve:

Afternoon of fresh pjs, hot chocolate and snuggles on the sofa with their favourite Christmas movie.
Presents before dinner
Special dinner altogether

Stocking with things 'to do' for the morning

I’d do a big Boxing Day

Christmas Eve - nice food, hang stockings etc. Whatever your traditions are

Christmas Morning - stockings, nice breakfast, Santa presents. Off to dads. Christmas Dinner etc.

Boxing Day - more nice food, presents from you and whoever else leaves them at your house.

My boys, aged 13, 7 and 6 are off to their dad's on the 23rd and home on the 29th, this was a mutual decision. I am having an alternative Xmas day on the 22nd, we are opening presents and having takeaway for dinner. I'm off up to my friends house on the 23rd so don't want any food left in the fridge. My boys are very excited about the alternative Xmas day plans....as am I because it involves no cooking!

We alternate each year, but kids are back with the other parent around 10am Boxing Day.

We both just tend to have our Christmas day on the day the kids are with us.

Ds2 said to me earlier (we were in the car with radio 2 on and the Nesting concept) that one of the benefits of having separated parents is 2 Christmas days, so I'm guessing they are okay with the 2 days of full Christmas meal.

My family have always had a full Christmas meal on both Christmas and Boxing day anyway, and then when exH and I were together we'd have the same seeing both sets of parents unless we hosted.

I did do it a day early one year, they were too little to know what day it actually was.

Some really good ideas and you've put my mind at rest a little too.
If they were here for Boxing Day, I would have 'our' Christmas then but they'll still be at their dads until the evening of the 27th.

I'm definitely going to do stockings and a couple of gifts from Santa on Christmas Day morning, with a nice breakfast (eldest two don't believe in Santa but youngest does-last year of it I think)
Do gifts from me and family on Christmas Eve afternoon. Then I'll have a think about what to do for food.
The fire/candles idea is nice, we can do that. We have a couple of films we watch as tradition over Christmas so we can do that on the 23rd/24th.

Now to get organised😂 I'm usually a last minute Mary but want to get everything bought/wrapped early so we can all enjoy the festivities and local events

Thank you , hope you all have a lovely Christmas 🎄