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Job interview

8 replies

Daetm · 24/11/2021 15:14

Hi everyone, just joined mumsnet after lurking for several years so please be kind to me, I really need help.
I've got a job interview next week and I'm really really nervous about it. So nervous I don't eat properly, I feel sick when I do and I can't concentrate on anything and I just got this horrible horrible knot in my belly. Basically I'm a nervous wreck and I'm close to tears all the time. My husband doesn't understand so can't talk to him either.
The interview is within the company I'm employed by already and it's not much of a difference to what I do now.
The thing is when I'm nervous and uncomfortable in a situation I can't express myself verbally very well and I have no idea how to get past this.
Also have not had much experience with interviews, in fact I don't have any.
I've bought kalms rescue remedy and tried a couple of times and yes it helps a little with the nerves but I still feel like my mind goes blank and don't know what to say and it all comes out wrong.
I'm an awkward person as it is, I'm both an introvert and shy and i can never be myself around people I don't know well.
Any help please, I'm so close to cancelling the interview but I really need more hours. I'm only on a zero hour contract which I will carry on with but this new position gives me guaranteed hours on top. If I don't get this I would still need to start looking for something else anyway.

Sorry it's long and thank you if you read it all.

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 24/11/2021 15:16

You need to get some practice in. Maybe YouTube and Instagram might help with confidence boosting tips and tricks. Also how to prepare some questions & answers so that you don't appear tongue-tied, etc.

YeOldeTrout · 24/11/2021 16:42

Are you super nervous because you badly want the job -- or for another reason?

Are you afraid that on top of not getting the job you'll make yourself look like an idiot in front of colleagues you have to work with afterwards. So they'll pity you forever more?

Yes I am building up to saying "What's the worst that can happen?"

if worst = "You don't get the job" the best is still that you got some interview practice and that will help you do better in next interview. You need to see this interview as an opportunity you can benefit from, no matter what the outcome.

if worst = "Make self look like an idiot" how bad idiot do you have to be to look worse than Boris Johnson did in his public speech last week and yet we know he'll still win next Election. I was at a funeral today and the guy giving eulogy even made a joke about doing better than BoJo's embarrassing speech effort.

You can do this, OP.

Gilmoregale · 24/11/2021 17:05

It might sound daft, but if there isn't a willing friend/family member around to help you practice a few questions, what about just talking out loud as a practice run so the questions aren't quite as scary. It doesn't sound as if your DH would be all that amenable to doing a practice run, which is a shame - is there a friend or relative who might be?

I hate being interviewed by people I know, it's worse than when it's strangers! So the way I've always coped with it is to behave as if we are strangers, and they know nothing about me, so that when they're making the decision, they have the evidence to show why I'm the best person for the job. (Also take this approach due to run-ins with HR and recruitment over the years, as both a candidate and an interviewer, but that's a whole separate can of worms!!)

I'm hoping they've at least given you a job description and a person spec, if you look at those they'll hopefully give you some ideas on the type of questions they might ask you - could you prepare some notes and have answers ready, not exactly totally prepared, but at least not totally cold?

If they ask you, "Tell me about yourself", that's often (in my experience) interviewer code for "Why would you like the job and how do your skills and experience fit with what we need?"

You're already doing the job on zero hours, so they know you can do it, and you know you can do it. It's just (!) a case of pulling out the evidence to show that you can.

There are also different styles of interviewing, depending on where you work. Years ago when I joined the workforce it was all pretty hypothetical: "What would you do if a giant purple leopard suddenly raced into reception?" (Okay, that's an exaggeration, but not by much. I did sit through some interviews where they gave me a hypothetical team and wanted to know who I'd chuck out of the hot air balloon to keep it in the air.)

Then in the civil service it was all competency based, for a bit giving examples of previous things you had done, as the theory goes that your past behaviour gives a good clue as to what you'll do again.

And in the NHS now, it's "value based". So you'll often be asked questions about the values of the organisation, which ones you think are most important, and how you can demonstrate them. You're still using past examples a lot of the time, but the focus is slightly different.

The STAR technique might help you to put some answers together as well, one example is at www.thebalancecareers.com/what-is-the-star-interview-response-technique-2061629

For your nerves, if you have a look on Youtube you should also be able to find some ideas for breathing exercises that can help calm and slow you down.

Good luck - you can do this. Brew Flowers

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Daetm · 24/11/2021 20:35

I worry about making myself look like an idiot who can't express themselves start talking nonsense and hesitating. I got a feeling some of this self doubt is because English is my second language.
I've never met my manager (who is one of the two who is going going to interview me) as she is new. I also work in clients houses so I'm never at the office.
I just really really want this job as I really enjoy it and there isn't another job with the same tasks. If I get turned down then I'll have to look for a job in the same industry but different tasks and the work conditions aren't as good either.
Thanks for all your suggestions. I have practised by writing down answers to questions I think might come up. Also racked my brain for different situations, good, bad, challenging and then saying them all out loud but it sounds fake and unnatural no matter how much I try and I lose myself half way through.
Going to go on YouTube and look at some videos too.
And no I haven't got any friends or relatives who can help either.
I'm so frustrated with myself because the job is only an entry level job so no particular skills or experience are even needed.

OP posts:
Gilmoregale · 24/11/2021 21:21

Your English is excellent, I would never have known it wasn't your first language. I studied languages (back when the dinosaurs were still about) and I really understand how tricky it is to express things verbally, you haven't got the same amount of thinking time as you have when you're writing things down and can double check them.

I think lots of us will have our fingers (and toes!) crossed for you for next week, let's hope it's good news for you.

Daetm · 24/11/2021 21:39

@Gilmoregale

Your English is excellent, I would never have known it wasn't your first language. I studied languages (back when the dinosaurs were still about) and I really understand how tricky it is to express things verbally, you haven't got the same amount of thinking time as you have when you're writing things down and can double check them.

I think lots of us will have our fingers (and toes!) crossed for you for next week, let's hope it's good news for you.

Thank you, I get that a lot and I know I can speak English with no problems but when I'm a nervous wreck it's one of my biggest weaknesses (can I use that as an answer if the weakness question comes upGrin). I much prefer writing. But feeling a bit better this evening but know I got a long wait until next week and I know I'll be back to feeling like a wreck several times before my interview.
OP posts:
LitCrit · 24/11/2021 22:06

If you're better at writing, think of some possible questions, write down the answer, turn it into bullet points with keywords and repeat over and over till it comes out without thinking.

Questions might be phrased in slightly different ways but topics that come up very frequently and are really worth learning responses to are:
tell us about a time you:
worked as a team to achieve or solve something
showed that you could make a decision for yourself
used your initiative by doing something useful without being told
supported your colleagues (maybe switching shift, extra hours if required)
were flexible for your managers (maybe switching shift, extra hours if required)
showed you don't just do things by rote but can can adapt according to new circumstances or information.
Showed that you'll show up (literally and figuratively) even when it's hard for you.
Are a 'can-do' /'computer says yes' kind of person

You can see that you can sometimes adapt the same story to fit a few of these types of questions.

What are your weaknesses - choose ones which are really strengths eg 'want to do my best even if that means staying late' (bit obvious but you know what I mean)

Hope that helps and good luck - if it's entry level and you've thought of a few answers you will be ahead of the rest!

YeOldeTrout · 24/11/2021 22:27

Speak slower than you'd like to. Helps to keep you calm & gives you time to compose your thoughts. I have a lovely Spanish colleague -- I need to remind her not to speak English at Spanish speeds. I can't understand her when talking too fast.

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