Anxiety is ruining my life. Can't do this anymore

[Anxietyneedstofoff]

Hi,

Just that really. I have hit a wall today and I can't keep going on like this.

The constant worry. The constant panic. The always jumping to worse case scenario. The catastrophising. The awful physical symptoms of being this anxious all the time. It's too much and I'm honestly mentally and physically exhausted with it all.

I've had CBT 3 times, but I keep coming back to this place. I do try. I use the techniques, but my anxiety seems too strong and destroys any logic and takes over everything.

I don't want to be like this anymore, but what else can I do?

Is this just who I am? Someone who is always crippled by her fears and intrusive, often disturbing thoughts?

Help, please.

My dd 18 is on lexapro after having awful anxiety for 5 years.
She started in September and she can feel the difference already. She is more happy and looks better in herself.
She did get a few side effects but in all credit to her she stuck with it.

This has been me my whole life ,hand in hand with depression,no medication worked and at nearly 50 I’m 3/4 through an autism assessment..which I know deep down I have .
Absolutely the same as “two week cruise “ and “ meetmeatourspot”tried everything same
Not saying everyone has autism ,god no ..
But don’t know ,might be worth a look x

I totally second the recommendation of the book 'Hope and Help for your nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes. It made a difference really quickly, I was already on medication but still having massive panic attacks (think crawling off a tube train and lying in a platform) and constant lower level anxiety. It's a bit old fashioned in its writing but the premise works. Really hope you feel better soon. The main thing I want to assure you of is that anxiety can leave as quickly as it arrived, you are not stuck with it and it doesn’t take forever to get rid if, even if you've been suffering a long time.

Just to be clear, I'm not dismissing medication, I just wasn't on the right one at that time.

Medication helped my FL & best friend. Best friend also used hypnosis. CBT didn’t work for either of them. Also the calm app my FL swears by for sleep. Tbh I use it when I have had a really bad day and it does help. Sending OP. Please speak to your GP. X

Oh dear OP, sorry you're in a bad place at the moment.
My anxiety was less severe than yours, but after CBT, hypnotherapy and talking therapy, I've found diet and lifestyle to be the best treatment for me.
I have 3 sensible meals a day to maintain my blood sugar levels, have totally cut out caffeine, am very moderate with alcohol and get plenty of exercise to burn the anxiety off.
It's not a cure, but it's been a BIG help.

Thanks again for all the replies and advice.

I'm sorry to those of you who can relate.

To those of you asking, no, I'm not on any medication for this. I was a couple of decades ago in my early teens, but it really didn't suit me and I had terrible withdrawal when I came off them. Was too young to be on them in the first place. I'm not ruling out trying something now, but have been very reluctant in the past.

I'm also reluctant to contact my GP, as I sort of feel like I've been here so many times and nothing ever changes. I waited 18 months last time before seeing anyone and it didn't help much.

I have been diagnosed with OCD in the form of repetitive and dark intrusive thoughts. I get them on a constant loop when it's bad. It's like torture.

My main trigger is my dc. I worry about them so much, to the point I feel sick, almost on a daily basis. Again, I jump to worse case scenario.

I also have major health anxiety. Definitely getting worse.

My panic attacks go from 0-100 in seconds recently. I go from 'it's ok...you've been here before...it won't be that...it will be this' to 'oh my god, the worst has definitely happened or is about to. I'm not safe...they're not safe and then the awful physical symptoms of crazy heart rate, dizzy, sick and then the hyperventilating.

I know I need to take a step forward, just don't know how.

I do have a supportive dp, but they just don't get it.

That sounds really hard, I'm so sorry OP.

Honestly, please see your GP at least to discuss your concerns about medication. A lot will have changed since you were a teenager. There are a lot of different medications, you can talk about your concerns and hopefully find one that works for you.

Your condition sounds so debilitating, you've even used the word 'torture'. Please make the GP appointment. You deserve better than this.

Just to say sertaline has worked for me, hope you find something for you that helps.

For what it’s worth, I started taking a high dose vitamin D supplement as there is some suggestion it might help protect against Covid. (This was before there was a vaccine available, which I’ve since also had!)
As a “side effect” I noticed feeling a lot less anxious and depressed, and generally more level-headed. Maybe a placebo effect but it really made a noticeable difference!

I'm so sorry @Anxietyneedstofoff that sounds so awful. It's such a debilitating illness and I don't think a lot of people realise how horrific it can be. I know you said you had bad experiences in the past with medication but I would really encourage you to give it another go. I was put on fluoxetine a couple of years ago and after a few weeks on it I was a different person and my anxiety faded away. I came off it in January this year and have been managing ok since up until about a month ago. Now the anxiety seems to be creeping back and I'm considering going back on my prescription if there is little improvement over the next few weeks. There is no shame in needing medication for it - it's an illness just like any other that needs treating. Wishing you the best of luck with it all.

50mg of Sertraline has changed my life. Seriously. I went from being a nervous wreck who couldn't leave the house without rechecking everything, who would panic if i heard sirens when out as I thought the house was burning down, I had constant suicidal thoughts. Overnight it was like a dam had been put in place and I feel light and free for the first time in a long time. My GP said that we all have different physiological makeups when it comes to how we process serotonin and that taking this medication is like a daily vitamin that keeps me in check. Can't imagine ever coming off.

I suppose regarding meds, I worry I will become completely reliant on them. I'm also worried that they'll change me - turn me into a zombie. I know on balance and after reading a lot of your experiences, it may be worth looking into again.

Can I ask, those of you who are on medication, can I ask what kind of side effects, if any, you experience/d.

Propranolol was an absolute game changer for me.
I'd had anxiety from 10yrs old, panic attacks, the works, was given valium, which was useless. It really limited my life over the years. I had PND at 35 and the GP who treated me was fab, he'd had anxiety himself. Recommended propranolol as something that would break the cycle, as sometimes I would just be anxious about getting anxious. Had lots of intrusive thoughts too, especially of the baby coming to harm.
I was prescribed propranolol, citalopram and did CBT, all helped. But the propranolol was the game changer, because it really worked. I only took it for 6mths, and then occasionally after that. Haven't taken it for about 14yrs now, just the knowledge that there is something that works should I spiral again is so, so liberating. I have normal levels of anxiety now
Side effects, it zonked me out at first, but this didn't last long. I also had funny feelings in my hands, which l still occasionally get - difficult to explain, the leaflet said a cold feeling, but it's more like the anxiety going to my finger tips. I put weight on with the citalopram, but I was on that for a few years. The weight came off easily when I stopped it.

This is no way to live. I know, because I lived like that for many years. I lost almost everything over it.
Finally gave in to meds and I’m on Cipralex and Pregabalin. A perfect combination for me. The Cipralex is hard for me to tolerate and it’s hard to get settled on to (takes weeks to work, but it’s worth it). My advice is start slowly with any SSRI and be prepared to feel unpleasant for a while.
Pregabalin started working straight away for me, and makes me feel “normal” like my old self again. I got this prescribed by a psychiatrist. I don’t know if GPs prescribe this for anxiety or not.
Both meds affect my stomach so I have IBS symptoms with them but I don’t care. I enjoy life now, and it’s worth the side effects in my case.

Neither drug turned me into a zombie, btw. I was very sleepy at first, maybe for a couple of weeks. But I was certainly alert after that, the only other thing was, citalopram did reduce my libido.

@Anxietyneedstofoff

I suppose regarding meds, I worry I will become completely reliant on them. I'm also worried that they'll change me - turn me into a zombie. I know on balance and after reading a lot of your experiences, it may be worth looking into again.

Can I ask, those of you who are on medication, can I ask what kind of side effects, if any, you experience/d.

On the being reliant, maybe you will be, some people need medication on an ongoing basis, that's not something inherently bad. Would you be worried about being reliant on insulin if you were diabetic? It's no worse to be reliant on medication to treat a mental Illness as a physical one. Sometimes people's thyroids fail or their blood pressure is too high or their heart needs a pacemaker or their hip needs to be replaced and sometimes our brains need support. Sometimes it just needs that support for long enough for therapy to help. Medication can give your brain enough breathing space to be able to take in and respond to therapeutic approaches. It might not be long at all for you. What's the worst that happens if you try? What's the worst it means to you if you do need to take antidepressants on an ongoing basis? The right one won't zonk you out, but will take the edge off your panic and anxiety so you can cope.

I've recently gone back on antidepressants after many years without. Once the dosage was right and they were helping I wished, I should have gone back on them months earlier then I did.
Instead of waiting till I was at breaking point with spiralling panic attacks. It's not magically gone, but it's so so much better.

I tend to get bad reactions to drugs a lot. The one I'm on tends to cause weight gain, but there are many other antidepressants that don't if that's a concern, and honestly I'd take the extra weight over where I was before, no contest. I've been on others that made me feel sick, or constantly dizzy, like I was going to pass out. Those medications helped other people but not me. There's often a bit of trial and error involved in working out what medication will work well for you, but for me at least it's certainly been worthwhile. I'd choose a lifetime of medication over a lifetime of how I felt before. That's not to say I don't hope one day to be able to go off them, but if my future involves being reliant on antidepressants because that's what my brain needs, then that's ok too.

@GiveYourHeadAWobble

This is no way to live. I know, because I lived like that for many years. I lost almost everything over it. Finally gave in to meds and I’m on Cipralex and Pregabalin. A perfect combination for me. The Cipralex is hard for me to tolerate and it’s hard to get settled on to (takes weeks to work, but it’s worth it). My advice is start slowly with any SSRI and be prepared to feel unpleasant for a while. Pregabalin started working straight away for me, and makes me feel “normal” like my old self again. I got this prescribed by a psychiatrist. I don’t know if GPs prescribe this for anxiety or not. Both meds affect my stomach so I have IBS symptoms with them but I don’t care. I enjoy life now, and it’s worth the side effects in my case.

It's not a common prescription for anxiety, though my GP would prescribe in combination with an antidepressant. It's an antiepileptic drug, that is used off label for nerve pain. On the IBS, if it's type C like I have I've found daily movicol really useful to reduce IBS related side effects. I can't tolerate most laxatives, this works a bit differently and doesn't give me to horrible cramping I get from things like senna or lactulose.

Citalopram gave me my life back.

Would you judge someone for needing life long pain killers, insulin or blood thinners? Of course not. I felt like a manic zombie before and now I feel so much calmer. Honestly, your life is worth more than struggling to keep it together.

No side effects but i remember waking up the next few days feeling like someone had turned off my brain, I felt qyiet and able to concentrate.

Oh my lovely. Go back to the GP. I’m on fluoxetine. It doesn’t turn me into a zombie. It enables me to be well enough to use the CBT techniques and feel like me but so much better.

@Anxietyneedstofoff

I suppose regarding meds, I worry I will become completely reliant on them. I'm also worried that they'll change me - turn me into a zombie. I know on balance and after reading a lot of your experiences, it may be worth looking into again.

Can I ask, those of you who are on medication, can I ask what kind of side effects, if any, you experience/d.

Hey :). I'm on Sertraline, and have been on it for almost a year now. I'm on the lowest prescribable dose and they have changed my life. I'm so much more level, I don't jump to worst case scenario anymore, I don't panic at the slightest little thing, I can deal with everything that happens in my life. It's brilliant.

I did struggle with side effects for the first couple of weeks but they passed. I don't think I have any now. Possibly a little bit of tiredness but nothing really problematic. Certainly not a zombie!

100% recommend.

Hi lovely just wondered how your getting on very much in same position myself

i think you need to treat it like the serious and debilitating illness that it is. A few bouts of CBT isn’t going to cut it. Maybe adopt a multi-pronged approach:

• medication
• therapy (EMDR is like magic)
• tight sleep routine
• at least 40mins exercise a day
• meditation/yoga for 15mins a day

Also make adjust to your diet that may be helpful ie reducing intake of caffeine, sugar, alcohol and non-prescription drugs.