How to ‘make’ reception age child do an club/class

[0verth1inker]

We had the reception age check up and I had a letter saying DC is overweight/obese (high BMI). I met with the school nurse and we are having a bit of an overhaul of our eating as a family although generally she does eat v healthy home cooked food. We are going to adjust portions etc.

The nurse suggested DC starting a club or an activity which is more active to encourage her weight to plateau. I am totally on board with this, we have adjusted our budget to accommodate a weekly activity and now looking to book (she already does swimming).

However…she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to do dance, football, rugby… there’s a local gymnastics class with one spot left which would be brilliant but she’s just saying no she doesn’t want to. She’s very active, we walk a lot on weekends, decent walk to school and back, cycle lots so she isn’t lazy. I don’t know if it’s nerves joining a group where she doesn’t know anyone. She says she’s tired after school (which she is tbf) but a lot of clubs don’t run at the weekend. Football and rugby are at the weekend but those are a definite NO from her and I think she’d prefer gymnastics especially in winter!

Does anyone have any advice- do I just say you’re going, take her and hope she loves it and gets into it? Keep looking for other clubs (it’s a small town so limited options!).

I just want to do the right thing for my daughter and stop her being an overweight/unhealthy adult. I feel v guilty about it all but also feel motivated to make positive change. Please be kind.

Also just to bear in mind if you do clubs it's harder to have time to cook properly, and you can often resort to convenience food or snacks in the car in a rush, which would negate the benefits

Bribery? We bribed DS (10) to do a club as MIL reaaaalllly want to pay for an activity for him and this was something we all thought he'd be really good at - he has ADHD and isn't a big achiever/joiner at school so we thought it would be good for him and it has been. We said we'd buy him something he wanted at the end of the term so he joined up.

She’s young, and tired from school. This term in Reception is tough. Park the idea until summer term. You don’t want to force her and you’re already doing active stuff and have it in mind so a club for an hour a week is sort of neither here nor there. Wait for her to get enthusiastic - or at least not negative - about something. Finding out what classes her friends go to, or actively fostering friendships, is the way to go. By summer she’ll be different again.

Activities are great but if she’s overweight it’s because she’s eating too much.

I wouldn’t push a Reception child to do a club if she’s not keen.

@Unsureschool

If you read the book 'why we eat too much ' you'll see that the types of food you eat are really key in controlling your weight so actually a class a week won't impact their weight much, so I would focus on reducing wheat, sugar and processed foods ( rice and potatoes fine though, as are high fat dairy). What about just taking them to fun stuff like trampolining, great parks, bike rides, swimming etc for fitness rather than weight loss. Also look up gut health, emerging science but would consider adding fermented foods such as kefir to diets

Excellent post

I actually disagree with the nurse. Reception children are sooo young still, two after school clubs is too many in my opinion (and our school advise no more than one club per week until yr 2).

I’d increase the weekend exercise. Many clubs there is a lot of standing around. If you take her jogging for 20 minutes twice a week that would do loads more for her.

No I wouldn't.
If she doesn't want to do them then forcing her makes it a battle. Which will make her less and less likely to want to be active, making the situation worse.

Do more active things at weekends and focus on portion size and food choices. She may want to join clubs later on.

Also worth remembering that the main developmental need at this age is free play - make aure you are building this into her day, she needs it.

"Have you thought about any kind of martial art that may be fun? I know there's lots of groups for smaller children such as kungfu cubs etc"

Some martial arts clubs allow adults and kids to train together. If you can find such a set up, that could be fun?

I wouldn’t bother with clubs either. They get way more exercise just running around at the park with their friends. Plus mine were way too tired in reception. Swimming once a week was bad enough!

Go swimming with her once a week and make it fun as well as practising her new skills. Unless she has a private swimming lesson she really won't be doing much swimming and moving in a group session. DD used to love swimming in the evening on a school night, showered and straight into pj's with a onesie over the top and home for a light supper. Take bobble hats to tuck her (and your) hair into this time of year.

I don’t know what to suggest but can tell you what I did. I cook a lot of home cooked food. We taught our son how to ride a bike. Our school is 2 miles away and he rides to school. He rides his bike everywhere. So whilst he didn’t lose weight, he also didn’t again and he got leaner and stronger and taller. We started in reception and he’s in year one now so it was a slow process of almost a year.

Any trampoline places nearby? We have local
Indoor play that has trampolines and it’s brilliant and bloody hard work bouncing round.

@Gshisk that’s the aim I think. I certainly don’t want her to lose weight.
Thanks so much for all the advice everyone! I’ve spoken to DD and she said she would like to try a taster of the gymnastics so we will do that with no pressure and if it’s not for her I’ll try and do more activity after school. I have a toddler so the park as a bit tricky in winter as he gets cold and fed up quickly but I’ll wrap him up and crack on. We do do swimming as a family once a month or so but again I’ll try and go once a fortnight.
The reason the nurse suggested activity I think is that I took in a food diary for DC and there wasn’t much she could suggest there. I’ve always cooked home made food mainly, limited sweet treats etc and she doesn’t eat an excessive amount although she does love food! I’m keeping an eye on portions but also don’t want to make her go hungry as I don’t want food to be a thing.
FWIW she’s followed the 99th centile since birth! She was born 9lb 2oz and even when EBF and then weaned on single veg she was 99th centile. Heights always been around 50th. Part of me thinks that must be her natural trajectory (I didn’t gain much weight when pregnant and no GD etc). I only really worry when a HCP raises it which they have from age 2 onwards, she doesn’t look fat more solid but she’s very fit and eats healthy food.

At reception age I wouldn't bother. At the end of the day, she's only going to burn a limited amount of calories during an hour of sport anyway.
She'd burn as many (and probably more) going to a soft play / trampoline park one day after school or one morning at the weekend if she's too tired in the evenings. Then take her to the playground/ park after school.

I found clics in reception year to be too much hassle while they get used to school routine. You could put the money towards something you can do together, rock climbing, more trips to the swimming pool as a family maybe? Then next year maybe something like dance or a martial art when she has more energy. You could also ask the other parents which clubs their kids do, if a friend goes she might be more interested. Or invest the money in something for in the house, a wobble board or exercise trampoline or something?

I wouldn't push it if she doesn't appear to be 'fat'. You actually sound like a pretty active family so will be able to improve the situation (as any obese adult could) by diet alone.
FWIW my eldest was 9lb at birth, a really chubby baby full of rolls - sold is actually how we describe her too. She really leaned out before reception but I know other babies like her can take slightly longer to lose that baby fat. She's 7 now, really slim but muscular so I suspect if she was weighed she'd be the heavier end of normal weight. I was a huge baby too and I'm a size 8 after 3 babies.

Does she have a friend who does a particular activity? Going with a friend might be appealling. But I wouldn't force the class to be honest - if you have to force it then she's unlikely to want to keep going.

BUT... a once-a-week class will do nothing for weight. Most of the overweight kids I know do classes but then are driven everywhere and eat too much junk (a bit like I do, to be fair!!). An active lifestyle & eating healthily is much better... sounds like you're already doing that, it just needs a slightly differerent balance. A bit more walking etc., a bit less food. At her age she could even just be due for a growth spurt.

What about something like junior parkrun if there is one near you? It's free and totally commitment free, which is the main reason I like it. All you have to do is go along on the weeks you feel like it. It might just get her interested in being part of a group.

Hi my DD was overweight at the reception check. Like yours she was a big baby and always 99th centile +. We did cut sugar a tiny bit but really just monitored height and weight. She's now 11 and slim and I reckon was so from around 6 or 7. BMI came down steadily and no need to monitor now. So if her diet is good and she's active maybe watch the situation rather than react too much. Good luck.

I lost 24 kg this year by walking around town. If she doesn't mind walking at the weekends then just do more of that. It doesn't have to be sweaty exercise to help lose weight.

My kids love parkrun, do you have a junior one nearby? (2k on a Sunday) or even a normal one (5k on a Saturday) my 6 year old was doing it when she was 4 before she started reception. For the 5k under 11’s need to run with an adult. We did our first one since the pandemic on Saturday and I’m still aching!

@HSHorror

My 6yo does gymnastics at school. And park for an hour 1-3 times a week. We do a NT property every other weekend. Maybe aim for an afterschool sport club in the summer term. If shes overweight she will get more tired and struggle to run during pe. We did a tobboganning party in y1 with dc1 and the overweight child couldnt carry their own sled.

She’s fine running around can definitely keep up with her peers! And I don’t think she’d ever have an issue lifting/carrying etc any more than anyone of her old age. She doesn’t seem limited at all (she doesn’t look chunky/have rolls, get breathless etc).

I’ll have a look at junior parkrun good idea!

I wouldn't personally. Reception is still very young. Both mine now do a couple of evening / weekend activities, but I didn't bother till around Year 2 TBH. I'd focus on diet and on building higher levels of activity into your daily routine, plus maybe just a bit more meeting up with friends at playgrounds or softplay. Also maybe try those cheap kids' Fitbits (the ones that aren't actually Fitbits but do the same stuff!) I found they really helped in encouraging the DCs to exercise during lockdown when walks were the only option.