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Original poster

Secondary school and rugby

41 replies

MrsPear · 22/11/2021 20:41

Right I know i’m being one of those parents but just how much contact is there?
To put it in context ds has had 2 brain bleeds (very early baby) which we were warned may leave him profoundly disabled. Thankfully he is all but recovered - with some (in the scale of what we were facing ) minor things. Now he has hit secondary and they are to play rugby. And quite frankly it scares the hell out of me - yes you can laugh it’s fine.
Plus how do you play with hearing aids?
Please tell me I’m being daft or should I write a note at least explaining?

OP posts:
Fadette · 22/11/2021 20:42

How old was he when he had the bleeds?

TeenyParent · 22/11/2021 20:46

In your situation I think it would be fair enough to ask the school these questions. Do you have SEN team support with the issues your ds has? The SEN team would be my first port of call especially if you already know them.
I hate the idea of full contact rugby for hormonal teens, I don’t know if it is normal in all high schools or if any precautions are put in place. I imagine it varies from school to school.

InTheLabyrinth · 22/11/2021 20:52

Secondary here. Didnt play in Y7 (covid) but it's full contact in Y8.
Speak to school.

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SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 22/11/2021 20:52

Speak to the head of games.

DelurkingAJ · 22/11/2021 20:54

DH is a teacher in a big rugby school and says they wouldn’t let him play contact!

Original poster
MrsPear · 22/11/2021 21:02

Right so I’m not going to get eye rolls in the office when I ring then?

I just feel daft as it was when he was a baby -.12 years ago - but like i said he still has legacies.

OP posts:
jendifer · 22/11/2021 21:05

What does DS say about it? I worked for a school for years and We often faced issues when a parent didn’t want their child to take part (for legitimate reasons) but the child did want to participate. Does he know you’ll contact the school?

rrhuth · 22/11/2021 21:07

@MrsPear

We said for our children to not do contact rugby and the school said fine. One that bit of the timetable the PE teacher put them in the other group doing whatever the other sport was.

Just say you do not consent.

It was my DH who took this position - he played a lot of rugby (through choice, in clubs) and does not think it right that the contact elements are compulsory in lessons as it is a rough game.

Contact rugby belongs in clubs, tag rugby should be standard for PE curriculum.

Original poster
MrsPear · 22/11/2021 21:09

I’ve never really explained about everything that happened. He is worried about his hearing aids.

OP posts:
521Jeanie · 22/11/2021 21:12

I would not be keen to let any son of mine play rugby. I don't know the exact circumstances but when I was 13 a boy from my class was paralysed playing rugby on the school field. We girls were playing netball on a nearby hard court and were all ushered inside when the ambulance arrived. He died in hospital a few weeks later. I'm sure people will poo-poo the risks, but how could you forget witnessing that as a teenager?

Original poster
MrsPear · 22/11/2021 21:14

Thinking about it i think it’s mentioned on his echp in the history bit. Ah I could just email and ask them to confirm they have read his history and that ds is worried about his hearing aids? I could direct it to his Sen.
@rrhuth it’s nice to read I’m not the only parent concerned. Even in the same age group they are all different sizes

OP posts:
Haggisfish3 · 22/11/2021 21:15

I am very against contact rugby in non injustice children. No way would I be letting my ds play in your position.

rrhuth · 22/11/2021 21:16

@MrsPear

I’ve never really explained about everything that happened. He is worried about his hearing aids.
Hopefully you won't have to explain. I wouldn't get lengthy, just say due to historic health reasons I do not want x to do rugby and don't consent to him taking part. See what they say to that.

PE is so shit isn't it? The whole thing needs a complete overhaul.

SnowSurprise · 22/11/2021 21:21

And quite frankly it scares the hell out of me
It would me too. Can you have a chat with your GP, or even your DS's consultant? Surely they would be willing to back you up if an official piece of paper was required.

DrCoconut · 22/11/2021 21:24

DS2 goes to secondary next year. He's not had such serious complications as your DS OP but he is a skinny little thing with asthma and glasses (that he needs to keep on to be safe.) He is also autistic and shows signs of dyspraxia though he's not diagnosed with the dyspraxia side of things. He hates people in his personal space and enforced rough housing. I have no idea how he will cope with the awful laddish PE curriculum that still seems prevalent.

converseandjeans · 22/11/2021 21:25

I don't think it would be a good idea for him to play & I would also be asking if he could sit rugby out.

Original poster
MrsPear · 22/11/2021 21:32

I honestly thought I’m being daft. Thank you.
Right I’ve sent an email for the morning asking to confirm type.

OP posts:
savagebaggagemaster · 22/11/2021 21:34

Where I teach (indy school) we don't let dc with hearing aids play contact (nor do they want to)
My ds doesn't play contact rugby either and he simply does what the other group does in sport.
I think there tends to be an alternative group for those who aren't going to be on the first 15!
I would definitely phone the school for a chat about it - they won't mind at all.

Original poster
MrsPear · 22/11/2021 21:37

@DrCoconut it’s not all been laddish. They have done movement and yoga too. But I agree there should be more choice. When I went to school 20 ish years ago (well closer to 30) you chose what fitness you wanted (aerobics, gym circuits and trampoline were popular along with netball) - it was 200 girls a year so I’m not sure how they timetabled it but they did.

OP posts:
Lennybenny · 22/11/2021 21:39

Depends in the Year group in my ds school. They play contact in Y10 and Y11 but non contact in lower years and they play non contact if the girls are playing. Ask the school. Email the pe teachers and explain the situation.

Imitatingdory · 22/11/2021 21:39

Don't rely on the staff having read, and remembered, DS's history from the EHCP. This is a time you need to be direct.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/11/2021 21:41

Given his hearing aids, they def need to make alternative arrangements. DS has a diaphragm made of gortex, the thought of contact sports would petrify me, Yanbu

Elisheva · 22/11/2021 21:42

You can get safety clips, headbands or skull caps to secure hearing aids while playing sports.

DueyCheatemAndHow · 22/11/2021 21:43

I teach in a rugby playing school. I don't think they would let him given the hearing aids anyway. Definitely not unreasonable!

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 22/11/2021 21:44

I don’t allow my teen to play contact rugby
Come from a family of doctors who are unequivocal about the risks
I’d be very direct if I were you and you’re not being ‘that parent’ - surely that’s reserved for people complaining about the nativity play or who their DC have to sit with? This is important and you are being completely reasonable
I’d have it banned in schools but appreciate that’s not a popular position!

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